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Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

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Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#331

Post by JohnJamesRambo »

animal531 wrote: post #290
ketzu wrote: post #273

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this more than just speculation? According to the linked occupid data ( https://web.archive.org/web/20170330131859/https://theblog.o... ) while women underrate attractiveness of men, the distribution of messages fllows the attractiveness curve: Men receive about the same amount of messages independent of attractiveness ( https://web.archive.org/web/20170331084200im_/https://cdn-im... ). Especially compared to the…

The study from OkCupid that I saw a long time ago showed that the top 78% of women were only interested in the top 22% of men (where top denotes a score that rates how often others are interested in you, the amount of messages you receive etc). The reverse then meant that the bottom 78% of men had to compete for the attention of the bottom 22% of women. They retracted that study after a while, but other dating sites…

It’s interesting to see the Pareto Principle working here as well.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#332

Post by dx87 »

dazc wrote: post #287
apexalpha wrote: post #217

There is only one universal law that applies to online dating, and that is: women don't need it as much as men. For women, online dating just doesn't make sense. Even on Tinder, where the ratio is kinda okay, women are bombarded with messages and likes. To the point that they can't even respond to everyone even if they wanted to. This means men are left with unresponsive women and just start to send cheaper pick up l…

'Conclusion: it really doesn't work for 90% of men.' Thanks for that. I recently tried Match.com for a couple of weeks and came to the conclusion that I am some kind of misfit. As it turns out, I may be normal after all?

Yeah, you're probably fine. A lot of the traits that make men attractive are very difficult to convey through a dating site, so a lot of men get passed on unless they're super good looking. It looks like the original blog has been taken down, but OkCupid created this[1] graph that shows that most men are rated as below average looking on dating sites.

[1] https://i.redd.it/ccjv5cjcevp21.jpg

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#333

Post by dkersten »

burneraccount12 wrote: post #295

Dating threads on HN honestly could be confused for incel message boards on Reddit. Some real quotes from this thread: 1. "As a male, it becomes very difficult to stand out if you are actually interested in someone." 2. "I know a few women that use Tinder: they are alone, late thirties and never got anything serious out of Tinder, but they use it to reassure their attractiveness" 3. "Bumble's rule is that Men are not…

After having read some of the messages you pulled quotes from, I feel like you are taking them out if context.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#334

Post by brlewis »

Blackstone4 wrote: post #262
zapnuk wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's the idea behind bumble. AFAIK men and women rate each other similarly to Tinder (yes/no). However, when a match occurs, women have to send the first message. This doesn't solve the gender inbalance though. This problem is much more difficult to solve, and requires further homogenization (?) of the male and female gender role. This should be one of the more important challenges of our time. Lonelyness and sexua…

Bumble's rule is that Men are not even allowed to initiate contact. This is gender-based. Given everything else happening in the world around gender discrimination, I find it interesting that a discussion around Bumble's practises has not come up. Maybe it's because as humans we are not always internally consistent with how we apply our logic to the world.

Context matters. People concerned about gender discrimination aren't usually as concerned about distinctions drawn between genders when the context is ballroom dancing or weddings. They're almost always concerned when the context is employment. Somewhere in between you've got dating and religious rules.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#335

Post by abstractbarista »

Blackstone4 wrote: post #262
zapnuk wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's the idea behind bumble. AFAIK men and women rate each other similarly to Tinder (yes/no). However, when a match occurs, women have to send the first message. This doesn't solve the gender inbalance though. This problem is much more difficult to solve, and requires further homogenization (?) of the male and female gender role. This should be one of the more important challenges of our time. Lonelyness and sexua…

Bumble's rule is that Men are not even allowed to initiate contact. This is gender-based. Given everything else happening in the world around gender discrimination, I find it interesting that a discussion around Bumble's practises has not come up. Maybe it's because as humans we are not always internally consistent with how we apply our logic to the world.

I love Bumble's concept because it attempts to complete what feminism espouses. Aren't we all about empowering women, and how we can all be capable in the jobs we do, and the lives we lead? It's a great thing and I believe in it.

But... Women collectively stopped short of picking up an equal responsibility for initiating romantic or casual interest. As a guy, you are absolutely expected to make the first moves. That doesn't sound very fair to me.

(Don't say it's because women aren't as interested as men. We're all pretty horny on average, and we all want to make connections. Equality, remember?)

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#336

Post by mamayoyox »

mcv wrote: post #213
LeonM wrote: post #203

I've tried a number of dating websites in the past year, and all of them are like this. First and foremost: No matter how hard they try to hide it, the male/female balance on all straight dating sites is completely off. I'd say it's about 80% male. So most of them fill with fake accounts to get the balance backs. The matching algorithms don't really exist, they are extremely primitive and usually optimised for engage…

I think the most effective way to stand out is for women to contact men. With men spamming all women with meaningless messages, there's little point for women to respond to men contacting them. But if a man received a message from a woman, it's more likely they're real and not a fake profile, and that they're actually interested. But dating sites that create fake profiles and use all these dark patterns to try to con…

I was getting flooded by messages from women. After that I met a few women and picked one as my partner

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#337

Post by Blackstone4 »

tdb7893 wrote: post #270
Blackstone4 wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bumble's rule is that Men are not even allowed to initiate contact. This is gender-based. Given everything else happening in the world around gender discrimination, I find it interesting that a discussion around Bumble's practises has not come up. Maybe it's because as humans we are not always internally consistent with how we apply our logic to the world.

I don't understand the inconsistency, are you saying that Bumble discriminates against men somehow? The issue for the people I've talked to is the underlying asymmetry in dating that leads to Bumble, not Bumble itself. Edit: essentially I don't understand how men are getting hurt by Bumble, I know a lot of people that prefer it to something like Tinder so maybe that skews my perspective.

I feel like in Western society, a certain narrative is being pushed that everyone should be treated equally regardless of gender (i.e. Wimbledon winners should get paid the same amount). From what I can tell, it is selectively being used by certain groups when it suits them to push their agenda.

However when observing the real world, it is clear that people are not treated equally based on gender (i.e. Bumble, restrooms, changing rooms, dating). And I am fine with that to a certain extent which is another rabbit hole/discussion. What I find interesting, is that the generation using Bumble tend to be more progressive and aligned with the "all people are equal regardless of gender" ideology yet this is not consistent with how the Bumble app works. This is where I find inconsistency in terms of thinking but I recognize that I'm making wide generalizations which is not ideal.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#338

Post by lkbm »

jacobush wrote: post #249
apexalpha wrote: post #217

There is only one universal law that applies to online dating, and that is: women don't need it as much as men. For women, online dating just doesn't make sense. Even on Tinder, where the ratio is kinda okay, women are bombarded with messages and likes. To the point that they can't even respond to everyone even if they wanted to. This means men are left with unresponsive women and just start to send cheaper pick up l…

I wonder why they don't limit the number of messages allowed per day. Say you only get 2.

I think Coffee Meets Bagel limits you to one per day, and Bumble only lets women initiate conversations. I have tried or investigated either of these, so this is all hearsay, but seems like some companies are experimenting with solutions along those lines.

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#339

Post by MichaelApproved »

dx034 wrote: post #305
MichaelApproved wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 1. "As a male, it becomes very difficult to stand out if you are actually interested in someone." How is this an incel statement? > 5. "All dating apps are filled with fakes and scams mostly perpetrated by those who own the app to milk you of your money. We just saw that this isn't such a crazy concept. Interested in hearing what I might've misunderstood.

Because in reality it probably applies to both genders. Is it easier for women to stand out if you're actually interested? Standing out in a group of hundreds or thousands of people (as with tinder) is always hard, dating doesn't have anything to do with that.

Does it apply to both equally?

Take a good looking man and a good looking woman and look at their inbox. Who has more messages?

Take an average looking man and average looking woman. Who has more messages?

My understanding is that the women will tend to get far more messages than the men do.

If that's true, it'll always be harder to stand out of the crowd when you're sending messages to a full inbox.

What does incel have to do with that?

Re: Match.com Used Fake Ads to Swindle Users, F.T.C. Says

#340

Post by Blackstone4 »

abstractbarista wrote: post #335
Blackstone4 wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bumble's rule is that Men are not even allowed to initiate contact. This is gender-based. Given everything else happening in the world around gender discrimination, I find it interesting that a discussion around Bumble's practises has not come up. Maybe it's because as humans we are not always internally consistent with how we apply our logic to the world.

I love Bumble's concept because it attempts to complete what feminism espouses. Aren't we all about empowering women, and how we can all be capable in the jobs we do, and the lives we lead? It's a great thing and I believe in it. But... Women collectively stopped short of picking up an equal responsibility for initiating romantic or casual interest. As a guy, you are absolutely expected to make the first moves. That…

I agree with people being empowered regardless of gender.

However...imagine an app where only men could contact women. I feel like certain groups would be outraged....what do you think?

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