Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

Post by Markoff » Sun, Sep 22, 2019, 9:55 PM UTC

shard wrote: post #277

This is likely exacerbated by the trends towards single family homes. A few generations ago, when you lived together with aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, parents, grand parents, great grand parents, there's always someone to interact with. But nowadays, if your spouse is at work and your children are at school or some activity, there's nobody around. The situation is even worse when you ar…

Post by learc83 » Sun, Sep 22, 2019, 10:14 PM UTC

maximente wrote: post #322

mercutio2 wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know lots and lots of people in very similar situations to what Mediterraneo described. I’m not sure if I’d describe it as common, but having a partner who either directly, or passively aggressively, undermines your ability to maintain external friendships is a very real phenomenon. It’s certainly not a healthy pattern, but it’s also pretty understandable. Relationships of all sorts need care and feeding. Sometimes…

yeah that's really interesting, i'm wondering if you're in the US (or that's where your friends are) in my experience in the US couples tend to basically turn into a military style cornered unit with an us vs the world attitude as soon as children come, where the focus becomes some mix of family:work to the exclusion of all other activities, to include hobbies, fitness, eating right, etc. i hear jokes about "date nig…

Post by Unklejoe » Sun, Sep 22, 2019, 10:19 PM UTC

scarface74 wrote: post #279

Mediterraneo10 wrote: post #206

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> That means you can invite yourself over It is fairly common for a man to marry a woman who does not like his friends. Then, the wife does not want the husband’s friends at their home. So, you cannot invite yourself over, and the man is so busy with giving his wife sufficient attention and with childraising that he cannot easily go out to meet his friends in another location.

If your wife doesn’t like your friends, there is usually a reason. Your friends may be not respecting the marriage or trying to get you to do the same types of things you did when you were single.

Post by pram » Sun, Sep 22, 2019, 10:39 PM UTC

buro9 wrote: post #178

ben_jones wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Any plans to open source / open core this software? I've always been interested in forum software (my first real web project was a Reddit clone in Flask and the complexities and edgecases abound - moderation tools, rate limiting, scaling write-load, finding the minimum front-end that doesn't make users puke).

It is all open source. The only thing that isn't is the very old puppet script that managed the deploy as it was rather bespoke for our setup. To my own regret I focused far too much on making it an effective platform rather than an easy install, so that bit might feel gnarly but at least the errors are sane and guide you. The Go API and PostgreSQL schemas: https://github.com/microcosm-cc/microcosm The Django fronten…

Post by lonelappde » Sun, Sep 22, 2019, 10:48 PM UTC

buro9 wrote: post #131

ben_jones wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like it would be appropriate to share some of these forums in this thread, I think the immediate need outweighs anyone calling it out as self-promotion.

Not all of them are applicable, the platform has also been used for forums that connect old-age pensioners homes (it's easy to use), and support networks for victims of domestic sexual and violent abuse in South London. However the largest example is the London cyclist one https://www.lfgss.com . I started with cycling and the plan was to saturate one sport/recreational interest before branching out. So I run a lot o…