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I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

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Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#331

Post by EADGBE »

careersuicide wrote: post #18
citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer inste…

> I know you can't extrapolate that to a person's entire relationship, but it just seems kinda... unfortunate I guess.

It's important to remember this fact. Too many people judge others based on their own ideologies. It's their life; not your own. I'm just as guilty as everyone else to judge, but I'm working on it.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#332

Post by pavel_lishin »

nsxwolf wrote: post #50
citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

I agree but some of these things sound like moral panics about black rectangles. I don't remember people shaking their heads at parents reading a paperback book at the park, or commuters reading broadsheet newspapers on the train.

> I don't remember people shaking their heads at parents reading a paperback book at the park, or commuters reading broadsheet newspapers on the train.

That's because you're not old enough. Some people did complain. (I can't find the actual quote, but I'll wager you've seen the photo that usually accompanies it - a train full of people reading the newspaper.)

You're definitely not old enough to remember Socrates bitching about kids learning to read and write.

And I suppose you're lucky enough that your parents didn't complain about you reading books, like some of my friends' did.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#333

Post by importantbrian »

careersuicide wrote: post #18
citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer inste…

My friends and I will often play this game where everyone puts their phone face down in the middle of the table. If you touch your phone before the check comes you get to pay the bill.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#334

Post by ForRealsies »

flomble wrote: post #235
koolba wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think it should rightfully be heartbreaking to deny that to a kid who would have it. I'm going to assume you haven't seen the steaming piles that are today's kid's shows and apps. There's no way that crap is as mentally stimulating as content from the 90s (or before). It's optimized for addiction. And I'm not saying to cut it off entirely. I'm just saying the new stuff is universally terrible.

I'm sorry but I can't let this one slide. Yes, children have been subjected to a slew of execrable sitcoms but at least in the realm of cartoons children's there is much that is of high quality. Adventure Time, Gravity Falls and Steven Universe roundly refute "universally terrible". Even the 2000s had Avatar, Samurai Jack, early Spongebob and Fairly Odd Parents. Other than nostalgia and smugness, I can't find any jus…

I believe the focus of the ire is on todder-youtube entertainment designed for blatant stimulation (sometimes disturbingly so) and 'games' that reflect the similar emotional highs of gambling.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#335

Post by vidarh »

careersuicide wrote: post #18
citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer inste…

I make a difference between a date or other explicitly agreed "dinner as a shared experience" and a random meal. At a date or family dinner, the phone stays away. But meals can be purely functional too, and then I may sit there with my whole laptop for that matter.

What's important to me is that there is sufficient device free time whether over a meal or otherwise. Then it's fine if some meals aren't amongst those times.

But eating out at anything above a fast food place certainly are amongst the device-free times... And often fast food meals are too.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#336

Post by EADGBE »

hycaria wrote: post #306
jstanley wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're agreeing

You're right ! I kept reading it inverting the two first words. I even double-checked when posting because that seemed illogical. Funny how I somehow needed someone to point it out to be able to read it right.

English grammar is pretty crazy.

Does this happen in other languages, too? As often?

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#337

Post by EADGBE »

careersuicide wrote: post #63
s3nnyy wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> sad to me when I see couples at a niceish restaurant and neither person is talking and both are looking at Facebook or Twitter Is that like a Bay Area thing? Sounds really terrible to me (I live in Europe)

I live in Texas. I've seen it all over here and pretty much every other state I've visited in the last few years. Maybe it's an American thing?

I'd venture to guess you'd see it wherever data is cheap.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#338

Post by EADGBE »

AndrewUnmuted wrote: post #149
careersuicide wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer inste…

I deleted my Facebook account two years ago, and I am much happier as a result.

I've deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps from my phone since last Tuesday.

Much happier.

I like the potentiality of being able to log into it with the Browser, but giving myself just enough resistance to not go through with it. I feel like it gives me more power to my decisions.

Also, I have lots of good friends and family who user Messenger frequently and I'd hate to miss their messages on that.

Also, related, I've removed notifications from nearly all my apps. That's nearly the same effect as removing the app altogether from my phone.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#339

Post by EADGBE »

bdamm wrote: post #163
AndrewUnmuted wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I deleted my Facebook account two years ago, and I am much happier as a result.

I haven't logged on to Facebook since March, and frankly I don't miss it. I'm not happier since I've instead filled that time with vapid alternatives such as HN.

Much easier to trade one vice for another, than to remove the vice altogether.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#340

Post by deepGem »

citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

Tech has made real interactions hard, not just parenting. How many times have we sat for dinners or lunches with friends staring at our phones. I say we because I am guilty of this behaviour. It is not hard to fathom a future dystopian world in which most human interaction is through a tech medium.
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