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Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

gavinray97.github.io

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Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#321

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Almost everything is a choice. The difference is that sometimes you're making a rational one and sometimes you only think you're making a rational one and to outsiders and in retrospect it obviously wasn't the best choice, or event a good choice. There are two aspects to the type of question that was asked. How do you prevent people from ha I g to make choices which are rational and good for their options but still r…

This question jumps past the more fundamental question of whether policymakers, and the government in general, should prevent people from making their own choices. Education is a very different story which ends with letting people make their own decisions after (hopefully) having more information about realistic outcomes. I don't personally want a government preventing me from making my own choices. That line is blur…

> This question jumps past the more fundamental question of whether policymakers, and the government in general, should prevent people from making their own choices.

When your choices include terrorizing businesses and being a public nuisance to everyone else, then yes, government should prevent people from making those choices.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe also worth asking what he's doing along those lines as a father. Probably some interventions are in reach for the state, and there are some other things that parents are best positioned to do. He might have some insight into both.

(Lost my passwd to my throwaway so i had to create another, sorry) Me? I have nothing to offer. My elementary aged kids will be in middle school soon and I am not looking forward to having to try and keep them on the straight and narrow. At home my parents afforded me a long leash and I rejected most of what my superiors at school/etc fed me. As soon I was able, I GTFO. Took many risks and things worked out okay for…

> Took many risks and things worked out okay for me in the end. I could tell my kids to do the opposite but I'd be lying and they'd know it.

"Do whatever you want and things will work out because it worked out for me" is not a good (or honest) message for children.

[survivor-bias-airplane.jpg]

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#323
post #307

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You've completely missed the point. People don't drink alcohol because it's healthy. Just like people don't eat cake because it's healthy, nor drink coffee because it's healthy. They do it because the unhealthy effects are desirable. Which is why moderation is the key. There's absolutely nothing wrong with someone enjoying a drink. But there is with people who need to drink. And that's just as true for sugar addition…

I was only using your own framing. You're the one who lazered in on health . > What’s healthy isn’t complete abstinence, it’s moderation. With alcohol this is well established to be false. https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-... https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-h... (Headline: "Drinking alcohol is a health risk regardless of the amount.")

> I was only using your own framing. You're the one who lazered in on health.

Actually no I wasn't. It was shrubby who mentioned "health" in the medical sense. I was replying to them using "health" in the social wellness sense. ie making the point that "health" is a nuanced term and shouldn't be used in an absolute way like they, and yourself now too, have done.

Health isn't just about physicality. There are social and emotional benefits. For example, enjoying a beer, or glass of wine, with my wife on a Friday evening when we rant about work is a great way to unwind for the weekend. It improves our mental health to have that shared experience. Our relationship is closer for spending time together. It has a net benefit despite it being an unhealthy treat.

You could replace the `wine` with `cake` in statement and have a similar point. But I don't personally enjoy cakes. Also take notice of how I'm not telling you that you shouldn't eat cakes because I don't personally like it ;)

> With alcohol this is well established to be false.

Again, you're missing the point. People enjoy stuff that isn't healthy, but sometimes that can still promote other benefits. Such as mental health. "Health" is a broader term than you give credit for.

Also the links you shared do not prove your point. There's no actual data in either of them. It's just pop-science articles with zero substance designed into scaremongering people. For example their arguments that it takes just one drink to become an addict is just laughable. The real statistics they don't print show a very different story where occasional to moderate drinking is not going to significantly increase your risk of cancer nor anything else. You're talking about fractions of a percent in the change of risk -- and that risk was already a low percentage to begin with. This is where understanding how statistics actually work makes a difference ;)

For example, some studies studies only show a correlation in 5% of cancer cases being related to alcohol consumption and that was proven against heavy drinkers. And the percentage of drinkers who have that cancer are https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/a...

And a lot of these studies exaggerate what I'd classed as a "light drinker". Take that link I shared:

> Even light drinkers can be at increased risk of some cancers. For example, women who have just one drink per day have a higher risk of breast cancer than those who have less than one drink a week, and risk is increased even more in heavy drinkers and binge drinkers (3-7).

If you're drinking 1 drink per day then you have a dependency. That isn't occasional consumption. I would not class that as demonstrating moderation. If you need to drink every single day then you fall into the category I described in my previous comment when I said there is an underlying problem that needs addressing.

Most people do not drink every day.

---

So to summarize:

- light and occasional drinking is a rounding error of 0 in terms of physical health risk. But it can have much more significant positive effects on mental health.

- understanding the actual statistics and how they work matter if you're going to argue about the risks to health

- people don't become alcoholics from one glass of wine

- if you don't want to drink then I agree nobody should force you. But please don't share bullshit pop-science articles claiming we're all going to become cancer-riddled addicts from an occasional drink just because you don't understand why some people do enjoy the occasional glass of wine. That just demonstrates you don't understand the subject matter.

- and please don't ignore the parallels I made about coffee and cake. They demonstrate the hypocrisy of comments where people claim absence is the only smart choice.

(and no, those bullet points were not AI generated)

edit: sorry for all the crappy grammar. I'm multitasking...badly it seems haha

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#324
post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Without the first beer there is no last beer.

This. In a healthy society there would be no need for intoxicants with so severe harms (BBC list for substances by harm is a good reference) and thus no exposure for a addictive substance. Now the norm decides that, almost without exceptions, we must all be exposed.

>In a healthy society there would be no need for intoxicants with so severe harms

Yeah but we don't live in a healthy society. We have more abundance and more advanced healthcare and drugs than ever before, but we are sick in terms of missing social connections and family unit, even in big cities. Hence why mental illnesses and substance abuse are going up.

People don't thrive on GDP line go up and cheap large screen TVs. People need friends, family, and a support network.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#325
post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Looking In retrospect, if you were a policy maker today how would you try to prevent the new generation for having to go through this (today your path likely would not be viable due to fentanyl).

I guess one can only optimise the system for the majority following the beaten path. Some folks just have to find a way both through the world and through their own head.

> Some folks just have to find a way both through the world and through their own head

You need to stop seeing me so hard rn

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#326
Damn, tough reading about the 1 week deadline for finding work, then getting one after telling them you're jailed and them taking the chance on you.

I also found the article written so well (I suppose we don't encounter native English speakers in the blogosphere as much as we think we do), that it was a joy to read, if I can say so considering the subject matter.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#327

have you been able to reconcile with your parents? thank you for sharing

I love this question! Because yes, this one has a happy ending =)

I had estranged my mother, didn't really talk to my adoptive father, and purposefully kept my maternal grandparents (who I am closest with) in the dark because I didn't want them to see me like this.

I also have 3 much younger sisters, who I didn't talk to for the same reasons as the grandparents.

I've made a HUGE effort to reconnect and make amends with my family. I'm on good terms with my parents and talk to both of them regularly, I explained to my grandparents after I got sober and visit them at least once a year, and I reconnected with my siblings who I now text regularly and we host a "sibling trip" where we get together over a weekend once each year.

I am very grateful that they saw my efforts and gave me a second chance. My oldest sister in particular was very wary.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#328

Earlier quoted context omitted.

True. If you ride properly, then everyone else on the road is not allowed to hit you by the laws of physics.

Like how if you ride in a car, or a bicycle, or walk as a pedestrian, then everyone else on the road is not allowed to hit you by the laws of physics. "Oh, but this is acceptable risk" Well, for billions, a motorcycle is too.

Yes same with BASE jumping. Since you walk as a pedestrian, which has risk, it's virtually the same as BASE jumping, which also has risk.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#329

This is a great story, thanks for sharing. I have to know: how is your (now wife) doing?

Thank you for asking. I didn't want to disclose it publicly, but when we met she was in a very bad place in life and actually had a planned suicide date.

It wasn't until years later she told me this.

We were able to send her back to university a second time to study something she is passionate about; she has a great support network of friends and (my) family. (Her family are drug addicts and gang members, so my family has sort of adopted her. It's a bit sad but none of her family were invited to our wedding.)

She's unemployed, but she's trying, and she says she never imagined that she could be so lucky in life.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#330

Is a success story line this still possible with coding assistants, or do they basically pull up the ladder that this guy climbed? I don't have enough insight into the job market right now to know.

I'll be honest -- if the pace of AI improvement continues at the current rate, I'm not sure I'll have a job in a few years' time.

Right now, the reason why you need humans in the loop is because you need someone with deep domain expertise and understanding of the particular nuances and architectural history behind a software product.

The reasons LLM's can't do this job currently is not an INHERENT limitation -- it's a technical one around context window limits and documentation.

There will always be people who don't want entirely autonomous development (who do you blame/fire when things go wrong) though.

I realize that it's not PRACTICAL advice, but I really do think if building software is what you're INTERESTED in, you should still give it your best try.

You spend the majority of your experienced life at work. Doing something you don't want to do, or find uninteresting, for most of your life (even though for many people this is the case) is a depressing and bleak prospect.

You may as well spend your time and energy trying to do something you like, because you're sort of stuck with it.

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