Yeah that is triggering reading the list. I know it is satire or whatever. But people with one of those traits you need to evict from your circle or minimize contact with.
I'm not trying to be rude, but I think you might need to re-read this list
How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
321–330 of 390 posts
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#322This is a list about how to have a flame war. If you really want incoherent and isolating social experiences here is what you do: - spend most of your time online - overthink any form of social outreach and don't do it - open reddit/HN/youtube/content_platform when you feel anything negative - look at porn when you feel lonely - constantly analyze other people's perception of you You will then stifle your social skil…
Right. Almost no one is that kind of asshole in person. Even in nerd meetups <5% are like this.
even when they are, it's not like that's their entire person, like people do have redeeming qualities even when I think they've been a jerk
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#323The formatting here made it pretty hard to parse at first. For a good 10 seconds I genuinely thought I was looking at some bizarre run-on, non-sequitur sentences. Giving the main line items a bit more spacing would make it much easier to read.
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#324This is a list about how to have a flame war. If you really want incoherent and isolating social experiences here is what you do: - spend most of your time online - overthink any form of social outreach and don't do it - open reddit/HN/youtube/content_platform when you feel anything negative - look at porn when you feel lonely - constantly analyze other people's perception of you You will then stifle your social skil…
The part you're missing is that the people who hit those bullet points probably weren't always that way. In my experience they usually had very bad social experiences that drove them to isolate. That isn't necessarily an excuse. I strongly believe that after a certain point it's really on you to get over your hangups, especially if you're an adult. It may not be easy but it's necessary Anyways, I've never found that…
I honestly think that most people suck and are not worth talking to. Sure, spending time with those who don't is extremely rewarding, but the rest is just a waste of oxygen.
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#325I thought this was going to be about moving to a car-centric suburb
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#326Long story short: where I come from, alcohol is a main social driver. Once I stopped drinking, people started asking why I stopped, and some even suggested that people who do not drink are somehow less trustworthy.
Then after a sports incident, I got a concussion. For a while I could not handle light, screens, noise, people, work, or normal social pressure. So I deliberately isolated myself until I could figure out how to get better.
Here's my checklist:
- Know why you're doing this and share with a close person; Someone else grounding you in your asocial trip can make a difference;
- Read books, Jung helped me stay sane while in isolation;
- Learn a new skill. I picked math and system programming as I realized it's easier for me to solve math problems and debug computers, rather than humans;
- Assume your state of mind is temporary and you're doing it with a purpose;
You're on your own, ignore the environment, find happiness inside your mind, don't seek too much external validation. Then your body will tell you if it's time to socialize or keep on deliberately introverting. Happy meditation.
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#327Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah I don’t disagree, but your approach comes off as uncaring and arrogant.
It’s not my job to care about yourself. It’s your job you care about yourself
I see, so you are saying you commenting on the person who was struggling was only about your superiority all along?
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#328Earlier quoted context omitted.
3 days? Wow. Can't say I think much of this senior member of your team, who seems to be the anti-social one here. I'm sure it breaks flow for them, but a big part of being senior is amplifying the best in those less so, and helping them improve. 3 minutes, 30 minutes, sure, I've discovered a lot of junior folks would figure things out on their own when I couldn't get back to them immediately, and tended to add some d…
I would argue it depends on the context. Of course, gaining enough experience on which contexts are worth persevering for which duration is it's own thing. The rubric I give to juniors is a bit more simple: if you get stuck, consider alternatives that you haven't tried out. Alternatives are of a few types including: relevant evidence/facts you can gather that you haven't yet gathered, and attempts you haven't tried y…
I think with regards to new hires, go for the quick question up front every time. Onboarding people fast is an investment with high-ROI.
It's a really bad sign if someone keeps asking thirty second questions three or six months into the job and hasn't figured out how to answer those themselves yet.
It's a really bad sign if they keep asking you the same questions.
But when someone's new? It's your job to help them get up to speed. A thirty second question is probably something like "is there a reason we use Azure instead of AWS" or "do you want me to use library A or B, I see both in the codebase," not something that they'll benefit from diving into for three days.
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#329Earlier quoted context omitted.
Respect for developmental diversity does more to isolate people? Because it seems like you and several other people are projecting a lot of “trauma is my identity” ideas on me that aren’t in what I wrote. What I wrote is that telling people “get good, I did” is really unhelpful. Put more work and thought into how you try to connect with people whose experience is very different from yours.
Why do you assume my experience is so different? There are tons of people on forums like these who've dealt with extreme shyness and severe problems, yet managed to persevere. Your struggles might not be nearly as unique as you think.
I am assuming this because you are projecting all over me and not distinguishing between me and the people I was making the point about. I was pretty clear in my comment that I do not struggle with shyness. Some people experience debilitating levels of shyness, and some people have done the work necessary to understand the perspective of those people, but in my experience they do not communicate like you do.
Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences
#330> if you must ask questions, imply the correctness of your originally held position by wording your question suggestively
I don’t really understand this, what would an example look like?