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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#321

Post by BowBun »

bigstrat2003 wrote: post #176
phito wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Maybe it's a cultural thing but it sounds like hell on earth to me. I'd be the one complaining and probably will not show up to the next party ...

I think a lot of stuff is cultural. For me, I detest music at social gatherings. I'm there to chat with people, not to listen to music. Music, for me, can only be neutral at best (and more often it detracts fun), not a value add. My wife, on the other hand, considers an event "like a funeral" if there isn't music playing. Just different cultures. Sadly, it means stuff hosted at my house doesn't ever align with my pre…

She's right though, when's the last time you've been to a public gathering place that hasn't had background music? It doesn't need to be loud, but without music if there's a natuural lull in the conversation it can just be a little awkward haha

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#322

Post by johnnyanmac »

dlisboa wrote: post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

House parties are more common in America, so that may be a big reason. A party in that context isn't just about gathering people, it's bringing people into your own living space to be judged upon.

And of course, many US gatherings are also means to move up the social ladder. Meeting new connections, finding mates, or getting intel on an area. Very capitalistic oriented.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#323

Post by GuB-42 »

ryukoposting wrote: post #132

Call me bad at parties, but a dedicated app for inviting people to the party is too much fanfare for my taste. If everyone waits around to see if their friends are going, nobody will RSVP because they're all waiting on each other to RSVP. We're all friends here. A good party fosters serendipity. Granted, I'm the same person who accepts any invitation to any concert, and intentionally doesn't listen to the band ahead…

That the thing I miss the most from Facebook. I mean, it still exists, but back then, almost everybody used Facebook, and for actual two-way communication, not for following "influencers" or trying to be one. And that was the true value, the features are nothing special, but the networking effect was unmatched.

It means you could make your invitation on Facebook and everyone was on it, with maybe a few exceptions that could be dealt with separately.

Serendipity is nice, but if you are the host, you need to at least get an idea of how many people will be there. And while we may all be friends, things can get tricky when you start inviting friends of friends.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#324

Post by ubermonkey »

kashnote wrote: post #34

Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…

I'd push back on aggressively "managing" where people sit and with whom they interact.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#325

Post by Esophagus4 »

saghm wrote: post #148
cvoss wrote: post #114

> The biggest problem at many parties is an endless escalation of volume. If you know how to fix this, let me know. Ideally, a guest breaks a cheap glass. The sound is heard across the house. The helpers immediately spring into action, leaving their conversations behind, looking for towels and a dustpan. The people nearby go mute with sympathetic embarrassment. Much ado is made of finding every shard. Meanwhile you a…

This is ingenious. If I ever host a house party, I might consider stocking on some cheap glassware just in case (and figure out which friend I can trust to do the dirty work)...

I have been at a party where (as I later found out) the host had hired an actor to be one of the waiters, and she paid him to trip and fall and spill a tray of food.

It made the night memorable and got everyone talking and working together to help clean up!

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#326

Post by douglee650 »

BowBun wrote: post #320
kashnote wrote: post #34

Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…

#4 has been tough for me - I take it semi-personally, as a sign of disrespect. I get that everyone has things going on. That said committing to an event where the host spends time + money to prepare forand then not going just seems so rude to me. I try not to give folks a hard time, but after a couple strikes I just won't invite them anymore. It's not worth accomodating people who regularly flake, they can hang out w…

Don't take it personally; not inviting them after a few times is enough.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#327

Post by johnnyanmac »

evilduck wrote: post #22
TheAceOfHearts wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Posts like this really make me feel like I'm living in a completely different reality from some people. I can't tell how much of this is exaggerated for comedic value and how much of it is genuine.

It's written comedically but you mostly live a different life.

Generational divide too. I grew up watching stuff like Project X, and then meanwhile it just seems like Gen Z can barely gather together for anything anymore. Let alone a rager.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#328

Post by zimza »

sokoloff wrote: post #253
zimza wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Taking IQ seriously is the most "low IQ" thing

IQ as a precise, cross-comparable measure? Sure. As a conceptual shorthand to describe the concept of intelligence? No.

The previous comments were talking of IQ in a quantitative way ("x points less"), so they fit in the first definition.

Even the second definition is not really a thing. Intelligence as a concept doesn't mean much and needs to be defined properly. Using it this way is just another way to divide people superficially.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#329

Post by johnnyanmac »

dyauspitr wrote: post #97
nicbou wrote: post #15

I prefer to invite people individually, and create a group chat with those who confirmed. Nothing is more demoralising than 24 hours of people saying they won’t come, in the group chat, right before the event. My flake rate is close to zero, mostly because people personally told me they’ll join. It doesn’t hurt to get the group chat hyped up on the day of the event. The activity is enough to get people excited. I als…

This is ridiculous. When I throw parties I tell a couple of my friends and tell them to tell others and people just show up. Americans are living in some sort of parallel dimension.

indeed. It's a flaky culture where half the people you do invite may not make it last minute. Let alone any friends they'd invite. Turns out hyperindividualism doesn't work well when you want to engage in social gatherings.
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