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Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

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Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#321

Post by alonsonic »

dukeyukey wrote: post #272
iamricks wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am Cuban and from Miami. The culture here is very similar where people will sacrifice everything in order to stay living close to family and "home". Here it stems a lot from the financial anxiety passed down from our parents and a culture where you relied a lot on your entire family. I think it really holds a lot of people back.

If you're Cuban and living in Miami, you are literally not near your "home", and probably not near your family? Or rather, physically close but still a plane ride and a diplomatic cold zone away.

Sounds like you haven't been to Miami before or don't know about the city demographics. Cuban population is massive, more people speak Spanish in and around miami than English these days. So yeah, he's home.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#322

Post by the_gastropod »

nox101 wrote: post #279
pas wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So, people moving away is not new and not surprising, and happens all over the world, it's basically the main driver of urbanization. What's new was (rich) people moving "back" (to suburbs for the American Dream, and nowadays to have kids). Though it's better than what used to happen - which was lots of kids, and high infant mortality, plus poverty driving kids to find jobs in cities, where bad living conditions and…

>The good news is that we have the social technology of ... affordable safe high density cities, with parks and high-rises (plus the obligatory blackjack and hookers too!) ... where people can be next to their new and old friends at the same time ... oh my! No such cities exist in the USA

Except for Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Madison, San Antonio, Buffalo, Memphis, …

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#323

Post by bluGill »

paxys wrote: post #17

Weird that the article frames friends as being constant in life and your career/house/neighborhood/kids' schools/community as totally flexible when practically speaking it's the other way around. It is normal to move away from people you formed bonds with in high school and college. If you are lonely the solution isn't to uproot your life and go after them, but to form new bonds with people who are around you right n…

Most people live where they are many jobs. Most people live close to their parents. They were able to find a job close and so choose that. Generally if you look for a job you can find plenty of them in whatever field you are in.

Now jobs are the most common reason to move away. However that is still a minority situation, the majority find a place to live and then a job there. Even when looking for a new job people tend to prefer jobs where they don't have to move.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#324

Post by Scea91 »

bluGill wrote: post #286
dsign wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm going in a tangent too here :-) . One can say that atheism (with lower case) is a lack of religion. And then there is the meaning you suggest: Atheism as a belief in refuting god. That one is not a proper religion, but more like an ideology. Or maybe it is a religion in the sense that it can be used as a moral cornerstone. More than playing with words, not believing in god may be one of three things: irrelevant,…

The first isn't atheism, it is agnostic - no religion and not looking for one, but open to it if you can convince them your religion is right (which you can't because they are not interested in the topic)

Atheism is defined as the absence of belief which is essentially what OP said.

The fact that we are open to changing our mind if theoretically presented with strong evidence does not make us agnostic.

You’d probably also accept that sun is made of cheese if presented strong enough evidence but don’t call yourself agnostic about the topic given your current knowledge.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#325

Post by Insanity »

extr wrote: post #46

I go back and forth on this. I still keep in touch with a bunch of high school and college friends. For better or worse those guys know "the real me" and the history and relationships are impossible to replace. They all still live close together but I live far away - I only see them once or twice a year, if that (less right now because we're all in the "very young kids" stage). I miss them. On the other hand, when I…

I am in the same boat. I live in a different continent than my college friends, and see them about twice a year when I visit my home country.

However, we fell into a routine of playing games together once a week (every sunday, same time, for about an hour). Which helps with feeling close even though I live far apart.

That said, I also made new friends where I live now but I am definitely less close to them.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#326

Post by wbl »

motorest wrote: post #241
grumpy-de-sre wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. Suburbia and the decline of third places probably play a far greater role in this demographic. It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive a…

> It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive advantage of the Anglo cultures for centuries, eg. moving for opportunity (improved social mobility), ability to connect with outsiders, couple pairing across cultural/geographical boundaries, prerequisite to a high trust society, etc. That line…

Someone else? My brother the US median income is miles ahead of everywhere else.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#327

Post by jncfhnb »

pjerem wrote: post #227
DragonStrength wrote: post #215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From an American's perspective, given how much Latin American migrant inflow we have, it'd be easy for us to say the same about Latin American cultures and not imagining how we could leave everything behind. Perhaps people's choices don't always reflect their desires and instead reflect the economic realities around them. "Getting out" is viewed as success where I was from because "staying behind" meant a worse life…

100% of Latin Americans you see are migrants because, well, you are in the US. You are only seeing exceptions. The immense majority of Latin American don’t live in the US neither migrate there.

I’d guess possibly a majority would migrate there if given the opportunity to do so safely, legally and without abandoning immediate family though

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#328

Post by bluGill »

goodpoint wrote: post #296
bluGill wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Atheism has a large component of refute the existence of God, make practice of region hard for those who are religion and so on. There is the I don't believe in God and I'm not interested in anything more. However there are a lot of vocal Atheists who have turned it into a religion with practices, rituals and doctrines around proving there is no God and thus I elevate that to a religion. You can choose where you want…

> rituals and doctrines around proving there is no God Please provide evidence to substantiate this claim.

Their rituals involve quotes of Noam Chomsky or Richard Dawkins anytime region comes up. Noam Chomsky and/or Richard Dawkins wrote their doctrines which they accept without question.

Maybe that isn't you, but it exists.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#329

Post by grumpy-de-sre »

nox101 wrote: post #278
grumpy-de-sre wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. Suburbia and the decline of third places probably play a far greater role in this demographic. It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive a…

what is your definition of "high trust society". I don't consider the USA a high trust society having lived in Japan and Singapore. In Japan and Singapore, I trust that others won't steal my stuff. I trust that I won't be mugged. I trust that my packages won't be stolen. I trust that my car will not be broken into. In the USA and Europe I trust none of that. I've had cars broken into 5 times, bikes stolen 5 times, ca…

Just have a look at https://ourworldindata.org/trust. The Anglo countries are all well above the global average (but admittedly East Asia and the Scandinavians have us beat). I'm super impressed by how high trust China is tbh. Apparently, since the recent increase in surveillance (and ability to police petty crime), a lot of folks don't even bother locking up bikes etc.

FWIW the only Anglo country left in the EU is Ireland.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#330

Post by bluGill »

ghaff wrote: post #303
bluGill wrote: post #286

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The first isn't atheism, it is agnostic - no religion and not looking for one, but open to it if you can convince them your religion is right (which you can't because they are not interested in the topic)

In practice though, unless you're in the Richard Dawkins camp, it's a distinction without really a difference.

The Richard Dawkins camp is pretty large (or maybe just vocal?) on the internet though and so the difference is important.
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