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The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

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Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#321

Post by JohnFen »

alisonatwork wrote: post #76
JohnFen wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If I had an invite from friends and the activity didn't seem immediately interesting to me, I'd decline. I have seen many (usually younger) people make this mistake. The mistake is thinking that the point of the activity is the activity itself. It isn't. The point is the genuine social engagement. (Edited to add:) > I've since learned to say yes more Years ago, I learned to change my default answer to things from "…

Interestingly, I've gone the opposite way in my old age. I realize now how very short life is and how it's absolutely not worth wasting what little free time I have on activities that don't interest me. This goes even moreso in the workplace, where saying yes often leads you into taking on more responsibilities for no extra pay or recognition, unless you simultaneously try to wangle the added work into a schmoozing o…

> it's absolutely not worth wasting what little free time I have on activities that don't interest me.

Well, my perspective is that the point is spending valuable free time with my friends, which I value and is good for everybody. What we're spending that time _doing_ is a secondary consideration.

> in the workplace, where saying yes often leads you into taking on more responsibilities for no extra pay or recognition

Of course! By saying "I changed my default answer from 'no' to 'yes'", I don't mean I say yes to everything (and I wasn't talking primarily about in the workplace). I mean it in the form of a shift in mental stance.

In the workplace, that means my default stance to something that involves additional work is "ok, how could I make that happen?". It may very well be that I can't. Or, more likely, it may be that I can if I deprioritize something else. The stance difference is that instead of just rejecting it automatically, I spend a moment weighing the factors and am able to present the tradeoffs involved so that we can make a better determination as to if it's a good idea or not.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#322

Post by idunnoman1222 »

phil21 wrote: post #180
vegadw wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What frustrates me is that, it seems (Read as: the following is just my vibe) that the majority of 3rd places left are religious in nature, but I, personally, don't want to be religious or raise children that are. There are some options, of course, but they're limited and often of poor quality, at least locally. Libraries are trying to adapt to fill this gap, and maker spaces spring up but most don't have funding to…

The mad rush to as quickly abolish religious practices in mainstream U.S. culture without any form of societal replacement is puzzling to me. I am no fan of religion having grown up in an exceedingly religious environment. But it was always completely obvious to me even as a child that the primary purpose of religion was to form local communities and have others with shared values to rely on. We seem to be doing it w…

Maybe go fishing?

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#323

Post by FrobeniusTwist »

diputsmonro wrote: post #240
saulpw wrote: post #215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are people who vote Republican in private, and they are different from those who loudly proclaim their Republicanism to everyone they encounter. It might be a shame that the private Republicans vote how they do, but that doesn't have to affect their ability to engage with trans people, or vice versa. So I would say the problem is not the ideological divide per se, but the 'identity' politics which makes both si…

> ...but that doesn't have to affect their ability to engage with trans people, or vice versa. I disagree. How am I supposed to trust and feel safe around someone who knowingly voted for a politician who loudly campaigned on removing my rights and demonizing my very existence? A politician who supports an esoteric policy that disadvantages me in some way is entirely different than one who loudly and plainly says that…

This is very well put, and I agree with it unreservedly. But I do think that it's worth bearing in mind that "trans rights" is, for better or worse, an evolving concept in the culture at the moment. I grew up in the 70s and 80s, when people even in my "west coast liberal" milieu wouldn't bat an eye if someone called someone else a "fag." That's practically inconceivable now, as would be playing "smear the queer" as we did just about daily on the playground. It seems to me that we're now in the middle of a similar process with trans rights, and I do think there are issues -- in particular those regarding the rights of minors and their parents -- that many people are trying in good faith to work through, and about which there are bound to be disagreements. I don't mean to make excuses for the politicians you mention, most of whom I think are using this issue opportunistically and not in good faith. I just think "the rights of trans people" is not something that has a well defined meaning at this point.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#324

Post by [deleted] »

apsurd wrote: post #298
hot_gril wrote: post #210

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are definitely fancier HOAs with bigger and nicer parks and common spaces than the others, and I don't think it's because they have different city rules.

HOA style commons solutions means a city becomes thousands of micro, private, exclusive spaces. Perhaps better than everyone sitting in their homes getting amazon deliveries every few hours. but this isn't what people mean when they say public community spaces. We need interconnectedness across income, ideology, generation, education, etc, for stable democracy.

[deleted]

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#325

Post by NickC25 »

nradov wrote: post #87
JohnFen wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If I had an invite from friends and the activity didn't seem immediately interesting to me, I'd decline. I have seen many (usually younger) people make this mistake. The mistake is thinking that the point of the activity is the activity itself. It isn't. The point is the genuine social engagement. (Edited to add:) > I've since learned to say yes more Years ago, I learned to change my default answer to things from "…

There's also a weird mistake among young people in thinking of Republicans versus Democrats as enemies to be shunned rather than the "loyal opposition" who just happen to have a different perspective. Becoming a political tribalist cuts out about half your social opportunities.

“There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.”

~John Adams.

I think he was right.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#326

Post by MisterBastahrd »

philip1209 wrote: post #66

The books the authors cite are great and worth reading. Some personal observations: - The USA lacks a unified cultural identity now. There are lots of reasons for this. But, it's considered taboo to express a love of the USA - which hurts our community + culture. - People put a lot of effort into work, and work is becoming more transactional. No more "life-long employment with the buddies" kind of situation. - Americ…

The last war that directly affected this country in any conceivable manner was WWII with Pearl Harbor, and that never reached the mainland. Before that, you needed the Civil War. Sending young, poor bastards off to die to protect the profits of their economic betters is a pathetic way to "unify a country."

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#327

Post by silverquiet »

dmkolobov wrote: post #299
krapp wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

God is not true, at least not the sense that any religion claims (God as an abstraction and a meme is as real as any other, as real as Harry Potter or Slenderman) Claims of absolute moral right or authority derived from divine right are not true. Claims made by the religious that belief in God is a prerequisite to morality, community or cultural identity are not true. Claims made by religious teachings about the natu…

Growing up in Nashville I've frequently heard that religion is a prerequisite to ethics. While I disagree in principle, I struggle to come up with an example where philosophy and ethics are discussed in a secular setting outside of school(academia included) and politics. It would not surprise me that on the whole our society is worse off for lack of a widespread secular tradition of discussing these concepts with you…

It's always looked to me like from a first approximation, people just do whatever they want and come up with justifications. The smarter they are, the more elaborate the justification. I doubt I'm above it.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#328

Post by HNY20240802 »

tarkin2 wrote: post #144

The lack of religion is a big factor. I'd argue as much as the internet. Religious activity--putting aside the well-documented negatives--gives group identity, belonging, a welcoming atmosphere, an in-person place to socialise, associated group events and a connection to your geographic community. The rush to abandon religion never replaced the essential in-person community it offered its adherents.

[flagged]

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#329

Post by colechristensen »

conductr wrote: post #110

I’m so glad it’s finally happening but also it’s wild to me this conversation feels like it’s just beginning. The Anxious Generation book seems to have been what was needed for people to see what, to me anyways, was common sense and actually question their silly iPad at 6months old parenting styles. As it’s picking up steam, I’ve been hearing stories recently about how our local “school district decided to ban phones…

This isn't new, by the way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowling_Alone

A book published in 2000 based on an essay from 1995. I remember my sister took a university course on it.

The Internet only replaced social interactions for a tiny group of enthusiasts at that point and "phones" were the size of small briefcases and were novelties in cars at that point (1995).

Declining socialization has been happening for _decades_ and people are overly focused on smartphones as a cause.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#330

Post by nradov »

rjzzleep wrote: post #301
fragmede wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't like being drunk that much, or like climbing, but, were your parents really that Catholic? We, as humans, need a dream to build towards, be in service of, and find our place in. What are we doing here and why are we doing it? For those of us who haven't figured it out yet, attaching to someone else's purpose gives us one and we don't have to figure it out ourselves. You need to find religion, just don't cal…

Parent poster doesn’t want to have to drink to socialize. And bar meets are just that. It’s actually a huge problem in society. Ever stream something or go to the cinema ? What does it show you? You’re happy => you drink to celebrate. You’re sad => drink out of sorrow. You want to hang out with friends => you go for drinks. DEFCON for example perpetuates that same behavior. Sure, one part is loss of community, but th…

In most communities there's no longer much social stigma against going to a bar/pub and ordering non-alcoholic beverages. The latest non-alcoholic beers are actually pretty good. (I do understand that the environment itself can be difficult for recovering alcoholics.)
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