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Why aren't smart people happier?

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#321

Post by nickelcitymario »

rTX5CMRXIfFG wrote: post #138
nickelcitymario wrote: post #108

I actually would not expect smart people to be happier. In fact, I wouldn't expect any group of people to be particularly happier than anyone else. Happiness and suffering are two sides of the same coin and we evolved these feelings (or they were bestowed upon us by God, either way) in order to guide us. We do more of what feels good, less of what feels bad. If we're happy all the time, happiness loses its intended p…

Stoicism and buddhism never worked for me—observing the world as dispassionately as possible is the most dead I’ve ever felt inside. Pouring myself out as passionately as possible to what I consider my life’s work is the happiest, most satisfying feeling in the world, and that’s despite the setbacks. I still come across as stoic to some people, though, just because it takes a lot (if at all) to upset me, but my calmn…

That's the other route for sure. It's what Mark Manson proposes in "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F---". His contention is that it's impossible to stop worrying about things. We're always going to worry about things. The only thing we can do is choose better things to worry about.

For my money, I prefer the dispassionate route. I get way too hung up on results and expectations otherwise.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#322

Post by pauldenton »

rrrrrrrrrrrryan wrote: post #314
latexr wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ding! At a certain point constant existential dread becomes tiring. You spend years mulling on it and the answer continues to be there’s nothing you can do, so what’s the point in worrying? Might as well go do something else and enjoy yourself.

In Buddhism, they advise against spending time pondering "unanswerable questions." [1] If you know a question is unanswerable, and mulling it over makes you unhappy, then it's foolish to continue thinking about it. You can just leave it be and move on with your life. I think most people eventually figure this out on their own some time in their late 20s. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_unanswered_questions#Sabb…

I thought Zen Buddhists pondered unanswerable questions, like what is the sound of one hand clapping.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#323

Post by Razengan »

Apreche wrote: post #40

The smarter people see the truth of the world and the universe. If the truth was good, that we lived in a wonderful society with wonderful people in a universe that cares about us, smart people would be so happy. But being smart just means you know the awful reality of things. Congrats, you learned about all these awful things you can’t do much to fix, and the reward is you get to experience existential dread. Congra…

Ignorance is bliss.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#325

Post by NotTameAntelope »

Jemm wrote: post #297
Apreche wrote: post #40

The smarter people see the truth of the world and the universe. If the truth was good, that we lived in a wonderful society with wonderful people in a universe that cares about us, smart people would be so happy. But being smart just means you know the awful reality of things. Congrats, you learned about all these awful things you can’t do much to fix, and the reward is you get to experience existential dread. Congra…

Even worse is that smart people see the patterns and can predict the outcome with a reasonable degree of accuracy, however, they can not do anything about it because speaking up usual results in being labelled negative and being shunned. This is very much like knowing the train is going to fall off the bridge but not being able to stop people from boarding.

Eh no, "speaking up" has varying outcomes in varying environments, this is not a universal constant.

I've chosen the job I have now specifically because I wanted to be able to do something about things I see that could be going wrong. Anyone can do this, but especially smart people.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#327

Post by anonporridge »

jlarocco wrote: post #304
Apreche wrote: post #40

The smarter people see the truth of the world and the universe. If the truth was good, that we lived in a wonderful society with wonderful people in a universe that cares about us, smart people would be so happy. But being smart just means you know the awful reality of things. Congrats, you learned about all these awful things you can’t do much to fix, and the reward is you get to experience existential dread. Congra…

On the other hand, I don't think it's "smart" for a person to ruminate and dwell on problems they can't change, especially not to the point that it has negative effects on their life. The way I see it, we're all going to be dead in 100 years, and life will go on without us. It's not my place to solve every problem in the world, and in the grand scheme of things, my life is very unimportant, so I might as well relax a…

Basically the conclusion of the Stoics, and why stoicism as a philosophy continues to be useful.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#328

Post by NotTameAntelope »

Bayart wrote: post #77
klik99 wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Serious question - how old are you? Anecdotally I’ve noticed smart people tend to have this attitude until their late 20s when it starts mellowing out. Now I’m a bit older I see my smarter friends happier than anyone and the less smart just about the same as always

That's been my experience as well. I'm much happier in my 30s, having enough experience that I've learned to let go and accept existential dread for the useless bother that it is, than I was in my 20s. Truly realizing that nobody's that special also was a qualitative leap. Not that I'd call myself « smart » with a straight face, but I certainly used to care a lot about things outside of my control.

You have the life experience to know what will and won't affect you, and you've found an equilibrium of control and impact that apparently makes you happy.

That's very you specific, not really related to your age, other than that it took you until your 30s to find that equilibrium.

There's nothing at all written down anywhere that ensures such an equilibrium for everyone, however. Especially for folks who represent a minority in their society, life is a lot more threatening and a lot less controllable for them, typically.

For some, that equilibrium may never come, and while that doesn't invalidate your experience, it certainly doesn't support the idea that "you'll calm down when you're older".

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#329

Post by FFRefresh »

Jensson wrote: post #178
nautilius wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

True when you focus solely on consuming. Turn to creating (art, science, a better mousetrap), and there’s no end in sight.

I think you need bias for the things you create for that to work. For me, if I create something then it isn't more interesting than if someone else created it, and creating something that is really interesting is really hard, people who can do that get rich.

You're focusing on how socially valued your creative work is (and how it ranks relative to others), which is an external factor. I tend to find that if you justify doing creative work on whether it'll be better/more interesting than others or you think it'll increase your status somehow (popularity/wealth), it's not as fulfilling and you'll probably never create anything.

What I find more fulfilling is creating for its own sake and for myself. Completely abandoning the thought of whether what I'm making will have utility for the whole world and I'll be lauded for it. Creating things that I find interesting, and also abandoning the view whether others will find it as interesting or high quality. For me, I've realized that I feel more fulfilled if I'm doing/creating more and consuming less. The mere act of doing/creating something in of itself is the end I try to seek.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#330

Post by Bolkan »

tartoran wrote: post #116
Bolkan wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What if you got diarrhoea?

How long are you going to be unhappy about that? It’s passes even quicker than a cold and everybody gets it once in a while. Happiness is not to cry over spilled milk.

*chronic diarrhoea
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