321–330 of 464 posts
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It sounds like the idea of “the universe has no plan for you” really didn’t help considering you needed therapy
I’ve found that therapy is a bit like minecraft in that the people knocking it have almost certainly never tried it.
This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…
This happens to everyone in their 30s. You realize that "dying someday" -- which seemed like a big distant hypothetical when you were a kid -- is actually a thing that will happen on a timescale you can reason about. Your career gets hard and you don't really know the point of it. It takes a while to get over it. Then you hit your 40s and you realize that since you're going to die anyway, why waste the time and die b…
This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…
> I could try to focus on my hobbies, but you realize very quickly that to get good at anything, you need hundreds/thousands of hours. The point of hobbies is not "getting good at them". It's enjoying them for their own sake. Otherwise they turn into ... work. > I'm just a blip in the universe and when I'm gone it will be unchanged, the same as if I had never existed. Yes. The Universe doesn't expect or have any spec…
If you haven't already, I highly suggest making a child if you can. It seems to snap all of this into focus - it did for me anyway.
I mean I still have a ton of existential dread and still often wonder what the point is but I do find purpose in providing for my family and trying to raise a human that can do good - maybe better than me and the author of that NYer piece :D.
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For sure. When I was 15, I looked back on my 10-year old self as someone who didn't know anything but now I had learned a lot. When I was 20, I looked back on my 15-year old self as someone who knew nothing but now I was an adult. At 25, I looked at my 20-year old self in the same way. Repeat for the next few steps. I'm now 35, pretty happy with how it is going life- and career-wise and I look back on my 30-year old…
On the other hand, now I am 32, and when I look at back at my 15-year old self, I just knew everything back then. I am only regressing since then in all ways
The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and natu…
how would one go about skipping directly to the thrid?
This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…
https://thriveglobal.com/stories/relationships-happiness-wel...
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> I could try to progress my career, but I'm already earning good money and I know to earn more I'd have to either start job hopping or study some leetcode to get into a FAANG. I know this was not the point of your comment, but trust me that one can pass FAANG interviews without grinding Leetcode. If you're seriously considering a job search, I would recommend going through jobsearch.dev
When people use FAANG in these discussions. Is it literally those five companies and a handful of other high end growth companies (Nvidia, Microsoft, Tesla?)? The number still being single digit. Or is it representing a handful more companies than fhat?
This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…
this feeling demands deep personal reflection and / or extended authentic conversation with someone who knows you well -- nothing a text forum will be able to give you so do not be discouraged if you read a hundred posts of advice and none of them do anything for you.
If you want to explore more of the philosophy of this kind of feeling then I have a recommendation. There is a popular podcast called "Philosophize This!" by Stephen West that actually went into a multi-episode dive on "The Creation of Meaning" recently. It starts on Episode 157. The podcast is a casual conversation-style lecture format. The first episode is 25 minutes long.
>Yet we focus on these artificial goals set by childish dreams, society or life events.
In my experience goals are used to resolve unmet needs. Children are very needy and have lots of goals. If you need more money, you set a goal to get it.
Is it possible that you have no goals and see no point in anything you do because you have nowhere to go but down? You are safe. You are fed. You did it. Maybe it is time to kick your feet up and enjoy.
I think that pretty much everyone feels this when they reach a certain age and it doesn't really matter what you've accomplished. I think humans just have an innate desire to have more.