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Under the skin of OnlyFans

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Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#321

Post by [deleted] »

toyg wrote: post #140
girvo wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plenty of drug dealers complain about having to deal with addicts, for what its worth. Signed, an ex-addict.

This is also very well-depicted in The Wire, which came from primary journalistic sources. "Dope fiends" are customers, but most dealers actually despise them. They're disrespected and abused constantly, as well a systematically exploited and tricked (at one point diluting doses is discussed, because of supply restrictions, and eventually deemed a good thing because "we will sell twice as many").

[deleted]

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#322

Post by tasogare »

AKSucks wrote: post #226
ayngg wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think in general there are some pretty big costs that aren't fully understood to doing sex work, even outside of the social stigma of being found out by your friends and family, there are mental health costs that are often not talked about. A lot of sex workers overtly reinforce social behaviors towards women (sexualization and objectification among other things) in order to appeal to men, which hurts them in the l…

Can we please not use the term "sex worker" for people who do not face the vast majority of risks (health/physical, financial, legal-of-the-criminal-sort, and emotional) that someone who actually engages in sex with other people for money does? You (generally speaking) cannot get infected with STIs, pregnant, assaulted, raped, drugged, stabbed, murdered, convicted, jailed - for being a camgirl. You (generally speakin…

I agree, let's stop using sex worker and use the proper term for the activity of selling sexual service: prostitute.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#323

Post by emptysongglass »

AKSucks wrote: post #226
ayngg wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think in general there are some pretty big costs that aren't fully understood to doing sex work, even outside of the social stigma of being found out by your friends and family, there are mental health costs that are often not talked about. A lot of sex workers overtly reinforce social behaviors towards women (sexualization and objectification among other things) in order to appeal to men, which hurts them in the l…

Can we please not use the term "sex worker" for people who do not face the vast majority of risks (health/physical, financial, legal-of-the-criminal-sort, and emotional) that someone who actually engages in sex with other people for money does? You (generally speaking) cannot get infected with STIs, pregnant, assaulted, raped, drugged, stabbed, murdered, convicted, jailed - for being a camgirl. You (generally speakin…

My wife did literal prostitution before camming, which was exceedingly more dangerous and traumatic. Many camgirls come from similar backgrounds or else do physical prostitution/sugardating on the side to high-rollers.

So no I don't think the label is misplaced by and large and I think making a racial analogy is offensively off the mark.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#324

Post by raxxorrax »

SilverRed wrote: post #45
650REDHAIR wrote: post #20

So our kids are getting older so I've been paying more attention to popular social networks and it's wild how many YouTubers, Twitch'ers, TikTok'ers, Instagram'ers have OF content directly linked from their non-porn bios. I don't like it, but I'm not sure what a good solution is. I mean, people are free to do what they'd like, but it's hard to police screen time 100% of the time and their peer group has a lot more ac…

Have you considered the alternative that this is not an evil which you are unable to control but just another way of living / thinking of sexual content? There is nothing inherently evil about this stuff so why is it terrible that it is becoming more accepted/common? If in 30 years we live in a society where people post nudes like they do facebook posts, is there anything wrong about this? Could you describe the harm…

I don't think it will ever happen to be normal if your colleagues find your nude pictures. Or your children for that matter. Or worse, the classmates of your children. This time the "your mom"-jokes might stick.

Prostitution is legal in my country and it should remain this way. But there are mechanism to keep it in certain locations. I think that should also apply to adult content on the net.

Of course there are also repercussion to most forms of intimacy you experience or do not experience later in life. The average 18 year old doesn't pay too much mind to it.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#325

Post by kennyadam »

brazzy wrote: post #287
vagrantJin wrote: post #283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> reinforcing toxic attitudes among the men. Or it could just be normal, expected behaviour.

Expected by whom? I'm really not sure what you're trying to say.

I get strong 'it's just locker room talk' from their comment. Boys will be boys, etc.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#326

Post by Khaine »

zahrc wrote: post #307
Khaine wrote: post #296

I’m not anti-sex or anti-sex work, but I think onlyfans is evil. They have a business model, that is perfected to extract as much money from whales as possible. Performers appear to have ‘relationships’ with their subscribers, encourage them to tip, buy ‘customs’, and ‘engage’ with them. These sad lonely sexless men spend all their money on this shit. It consumes them, until they are out of money, then it destroys th…

> These sad lonely sexless men spend all their money on this shit. It consumes them, until they are out of money, then it destroys them. It warps their expectations of relationships further impacting their datability, driving them even more towards onlyfans. IF I’d be that desperate I’d rather stick to a prostitute. Regular uploads aren’t even guaranteed. You could be paying something where you don’t even know the va…

These people want a relationship, and intimacy. They want the feeling of being loved more than sex. That’s why its a para-social relationship. These people believe that the performer thinks they are special, that they have a different and special relationship with the performer. The performer truely understands them, and they understand the performer.

They twist and warp anything so that its fits that worldview. Maybe they buy a video, and in it the performer says, “this is just for you”. Now, they may say that any lots of videos as part of the role play or whatever. But to these people, thats a sign of their special relationship.

That’s why they can be dangerous. If that spell is ever broken for example they find out the performer has a boyfriend. They can lash out violently, or look to humiliate the performer by sending their work to friends and relatives.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#327

Post by jliptzin »

newsclues wrote: post #236
Xylakant wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m sorry for your wife. However, I think it’s dangerous to shape the conversation about sex work solely around such cases. A person from my old flat share was a nurse on a terminal cancer ward for mostly children. > 90% of the patients died. They burned out within two years on the job. My aunt had to quit her job as hospital nurse because it physically ruined her body. She’s still suffering from that, decades later.…

Two anecdote from different sides of the spectrum and you feel the one you disagree with is dangerous. Just because normal jobs suck, doesn’t mean sex work is good.

Lots of things are not “good” but we don’t make them illegal. Maybe it would be a lot better with legal protections afforded to workers in other industries.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#328

Post by emptysongglass »

belorn wrote: post #207
emptysongglass wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife who is a sex worker is in therapy provided by her camsite because the work is so toxic. She was as pro-sex-work as you can be when she first started five years ago. It's majority trauma and I have to hear the stories every day. The men who drive by want to cum as fast as possible with as little damage to their pocketbook as possible. So they drive in, maybe critique her appearance, say, "tits" or "ass" (usual…

I don't see how you are replying to the above comment. When has ever an exploited work force been thanked for their job? When there exist no labor protection, the traditional approach when someone died on the job was to replace them with a new desperate person. Livestock in, livestock out. Becoming a sex worker today in most countries is like becoming a coal miner of old. The only thing that matter is what you produc…

> I don't see how you are replying to the above comment. When has ever an exploited work force been thanked for their job?

You are narrowly focusing on a single sentence from a larger rebuttal to the notion that sex work is a healthier pursuit for women than retail.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#329

Post by Spooky23 »

Telemakhos wrote: post #274
emptysongglass wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife who is a sex worker is in therapy provided by her camsite because the work is so toxic. She was as pro-sex-work as you can be when she first started five years ago. It's majority trauma and I have to hear the stories every day. The men who drive by want to cum as fast as possible with as little damage to their pocketbook as possible. So they drive in, maybe critique her appearance, say, "tits" or "ass" (usual…

This isn't going to be a welcome question or politically correct, but why do you let your wife continue to engage in something that is "majority trauma" and that makes her need therapy?

Why do people sell cheeseburgers at McDonalds? They need the cash.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#330

Post by leppr »

hnbad wrote: post #220
emptysongglass wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife who is a sex worker is in therapy provided by her camsite because the work is so toxic. She was as pro-sex-work as you can be when she first started five years ago. It's majority trauma and I have to hear the stories every day. The men who drive by want to cum as fast as possible with as little damage to their pocketbook as possible. So they drive in, maybe critique her appearance, say, "tits" or "ass" (usual…

[flagged]

Can anyone who downvoted comment on the reasons? I actually found this post insightful and particularly level-headed so I'm curious if it's something I've missed.
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