Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert • Hacker News Board

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#321

Post by vlasev » Thu, Jun 18, 2020, 8:50 PM UTC

nisa wrote: post #73

Words of warning from a not so young (36) chronic procrastinator with a rather messed up life: Take it seriously. I'm not talking about reading HN in your 7th work hour when doing stupid Excel sheets. I'm talking about messing up years and years of your life. I believe it's a symptom of some deeper issues and it won't go away from alone. Lack of sleep, stress, work overload, information overload amplify the effects b…

I'm not sure if you can echo this, but I've been in negative spirals in the past and the only thing that really helped me get out was to focus ALL my efforts on creating a positive spiral to counter the negative one. It often started with questions like

- What is the the thing making me feel the worst at the moment? - What is the largest small thing I can do with my current energy to offset my biggest problem?

For example, one time when money was really bad and I knew I'd get some money from tax returns, I focused all my energy (to the exclusion of other things even work) on trying to get it done, which resulted in some money and reducing my pain. This allowed me to re-focus on the next small challenge that I felt I could tackle reasonably well.

Sometimes the spiral is so deep and the challenges so multidimensional that it's hard to pick on the right thread of the ball of yarn to start making progress, but it's possible.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#322

Post by bigato » Thu, Jun 18, 2020, 10:00 PM UTC

lostmyoldone wrote: post #264

mywacaday wrote: post #203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How did you end up getting diagnosed, what does the treatment and result look like, any side affects?

This is too long, weird, and yeah. I was too tired, sorry about that. But anyway, meds+therapy+physical movement+probably magnesium and zinc is good, only meds usually a bit pointless. If your near term memory is especially crap, prescription n-back training when you are on meds can help improve it a little, and sometimes a lot. I sort of broke the scale on that one, apparently, was weird. Side effects, I haven't had…

There's a big overlap. Recent research shows that 80% of people on the autism spectrum also have adhd, and 50% of people with adhd also are on the autism spectrum.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#323

Post by dpoochieni » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 12:19 AM UTC

ci5er wrote: post #215

cgs wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would also add to give it time and not give up after one or two sessions. It takes time to establish a relationship with a therapist you connect with and to see patterns in your life emerge.

At one point (maybe 15~20 years ago?), I had two sessions/week with a therapist for about a year. 3 therapists in a row. I must be crap at finding therapists. The ones I found were really against being "interventionists" and didn't want to share with me what they were seeing from our very lightly guided conversation (where I didn't even know what I should be talking about). "A little intervention and a little guidanc…

Hmmm curiously, just read a book about how Freud brought about modernity and was conscious of how people would keep looking for some life guidance even though he had basically got rid of Tradition/Culture.

That said, keep looking, it has been terribly helpful for me to have someone who can analytically call on any bullshit I tell myself. I've learned to catch a lot of my patterns myself, but this guy simply catches the ones I miss or helps me understand why something is troubling me. I'd say our conversations are pretty balanced in who is speaking.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#324

Post by battery423 » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:37 AM UTC

nefitty wrote: post #306

leadingthenet wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That view is actually both extremely common, and very dangerous for the people genuinely suffering from ADHD symptoms, like myself. Many years of misery could’ve been avoided had I not met people that thought this way, earlier in life.

Yeah, I’m still struggling with taking this seriously for myself. Not only am I contending with the inevitable procrastination of setting an appointment with a doctor, but there’s also a chunk of my brain screaming, “don’t tell anyone, everyone will think you’re a druggy, adhd is bullshit!”

I have to remind myself to take ritalin.

I get it through subscription, so no black market or shit and i'm still not taking it every day