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I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

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Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#321

Post by dwild »

augustl wrote: post #52
easymodex wrote: post #27

This is very familiar to me. In college I often procrastinated until 3 days before an exam and only then opened the books. I didn't have the best grades because I made a conscious effort to get through with as little work as possible. I felt good about it as other classmates were studying for weeks before. Unfortunately I spent a lot of that free time playing video games. It was fun but i could've achieved way more.…

> Unfortunately I spent a lot of that free time playing video games. It was fun but i could've achieved way more. I'm currently beta testing a new optimization - I'm only allowed to play WoW Classic after my todo-list is done. One if the items on the todo-list is "do something productive for 30 minutes" (and currently, there's no shortage of things to fill those 30 minutes with). Maybe I can use the extreme gravitati…

> do something productive for 30 minutes

I love that part. I may try that some time. 30 minutes could also be a good breaking point where it's worth it to keep doing that productive thing instead of doing something else.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#322

Post by jdefr89 »

nestorherre wrote: post #273
turk73 wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should throw out all the games. I'm serious. I never really began to succeed until I stopped playing stupid games and became a man. Now I'm managing younger guys who can't put down the controller. Last fall I had to fire someone who was clearly staying up all night playing video games and was never prepared for work nor doing an adequate job at it. Sadly, his own sense of privilege prevented him from being able t…

>You should throw out all the games. I'm serious. I never really began to succeed until I stopped playing stupid games and became a man. I feel related to this comment and I think I know what you mean, and it's most likely that the other guys are misunderstanding you. And obviously, the guy "beta testing a new optimization to play and be productive" is having addiction issues. What I relate to is that most of my life…

There is obviously a balance. If you get a lot of joy from gaming and still lead a productive life you should keep gaming. The "work all day everyday do nothing else!" mindset is destroying our society and causing depression/addiction. Too much of anything (yes even work) is simply not good for you. Balance is so important and yet it is almost like everyone has abandoned it for a radical mindset. It is like you cannot find reason anymore in the wild. Every one is "its all this" "NO! ITS ALL THAT" Things are complex and there are not universal generalities. Such things sound nice but they are fiction in a world of complex adaptive systems... Sorry for tangent this has bothered me for a while.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#323

Post by kdelok »

danielecook wrote: post #90
kdelok wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's great that you encourage this attitude in your kids. I had a similar high-achieving story until I experienced some mental health issues during my PhD. I came out the other side realising that what made me happy wasn't a high-octane, top-of-my-field job, but a bunch of other stuff that I went for instead. I mainly feel lucky that I was well-placed to do that, even if some might say I'd wasted some potential.

Glad you figured things out - but I’m very curious about what you switched to.

I switched from computational simulation stuff to software engineering (big company, but not FAANG), since I found that the coding was much more rewarding than running the code. I think academia is a great career, but that it is better suited to other people.

I like my 9-to-5(ish) job coding up software that people actually use. I also like that when I go home, I don't have the emotional baggage of worrying about work.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#324

Post by davinic »

yomly wrote: post #20

People blossom at different stages of their lives - sometimes it's physical/technical, other times it's emotional, but in any case sometimes these advantages/head starts end up evening out after the first 30 years for people. To tell some anecdotes of people living at the pinnacle of piano: There is a pianist called Aimi Kobayashi who was a real piano prodigy - she was performing big concertos by the age of 9. Here i…

I enjoyed the book Old Masters and Young Geniuses which explored this subject in relationship to art and creativity.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#325

Post by dannykwells »

godzillabrennus wrote: post #91

They called me gifted as a kid. Tested at a genius level IQ (not that it matters). I barely passed high school. I started my first company while in it. I dropped out of my engineering programming. I was teaching other students about computers and was running a business on the side. I am not someone who follows the rules well. My sibling is the polar opposite, they have three Ivy League degrees. They were top 3% of th…

While it's nice that this approach worked out for you, this is bad advice in general, - read Cal Newport's "So good they can't ignore you":

http://www.calnewport.com/books/so-good/

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#326

Post by anderspitman »

akhilcacharya wrote: post #260
throwayEngineer wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The whole prestigious school thing means little imo. After you meet a few dunces from a top school and the rare genius who went to CC, you really stop caring. College is what you make it. If you aren't networking a top school, I don't see the purpose, we all learn math.

This isn't accurate, for instance the data structures/algorithms courses at top schools are significantly more attuned to how industry hiring works than mediocre schools like the one I went to, where you need a lot of external practice in order to be able to pass interviews.

Do companies use school pedigree for filtering? Yes. Are there other ways to stand out from the crowd? Yes.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#327

Post by JamesBarney »

ransom1538 wrote: post #126
celticninja wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

The world needs more good people. The world doesn't need more smart people.

I imagine smart people have done more good for the world than good people. The big lasting improvements to our lives have almost exclusively come from technology and when you look back at technology the vast majority of it was created by smart people(a lot of whom were good too). Vaccines, antibiotics, and farming technology have probably saved more people than every charity that has ever existed combined.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#328

Post by rajampoc »

throwayEngineer wrote: post #167
karmelapple wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m so glad I had parents who encouraged in me what you are encouraging in your children. I was accepted to a very prestigious university, and as my friends, their parents, and other adults (including some family) found out, there was mostly encouragement to just go there. The attitude was, “why wouldn’t I want to go there? Just think of the opportunity!” They we’re shocked I was thinking of attending a state school…

The whole prestigious school thing means little imo. After you meet a few dunces from a top school and the rare genius who went to CC, you really stop caring. College is what you make it. If you aren't networking a top school, I don't see the purpose, we all learn math.

> If you aren't networking a top school, I don't see the purpose, we all learn math.

Indeed. Additionally --- not sure if this is true for all fields --- the stuff taught on the college level is basic enough so that passable level of teaching is fine, as better teaching is marginally useful for good students. Things change a bit on the doctoral level, where the topics diverge more and it's important to go to a good direction early on --- however, not sure how much this differentiates universities inside the US.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#329

Post by shpongled »

Nano2rad wrote: post #312

Putting gifted students into separate class or being allowed to skip grade is not a good idea. The children should study with others of the same age at least up to 18 years. There should not be skipping grade and no failing grade as in the past. The thinking of children changes rapidly from year to year until they are 18. A lot of what we study is understanding how we interact with our fellow human beings. This is af…

I disagree. I had to take a couple non-gifted/advanced classes in high school and I was so unbelievably bored and unstimulated. You get through so little material because you have to waste time with people asking questions, etc.

Re: I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

#330

Post by Retra »

celticninja wrote: post #283
Retra wrote: post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being 'good' in a non-smart way is not actually being very good at all.

That's bullshit, you can be good regardless of your place in life, regardless of what you do or don't have.

That is bullshit, and not at all what I'm trying to say.
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