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Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

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Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#321

Post by closeparen »

Fricken wrote: post #315
closeparen wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Car dependent suburban sprawl maximizes the time that members of the same family spend together, at the expense of interaction with strangers. Both have their place in different phases of life. Many parents gladly give up interactions with strangers on public transit in exchange for the extra hours with their children that fast personal transport enables. It’s a terrible place to live alone when young and single, but…

Cars don't save any time. Mass transit, cycling and walking in a city optimized for those modes is just as fast. It's also safer, cheaper, better for mental and physical health, better for the environment, upward economic mobility, and aesthetically nicer. The personal automobile is for signalling status and avoiding poor/black people, which is worth more than all those other things.

No amount of bike lane makes you pedal 60mph. That assertion is clearly absurd. Of course there are tradeoffs other than time, but people aren't evil for valuing it.

To replicate the 25 minute commute times that are completely normal across America's car-centric sprawl into a dense and transit-centric area, one has to live in the most central and premium real estate. Great if you can afford it. Most can’t.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#322

Post by mikestaub »

coryfklein wrote: post #15

For a long time I've been wanting a "Tinder For Platonic Adults" app. I'm not looking for romance or sex, but I want to find nearby matches with similar interests; do you drink, play board games, are you married, how many kids and what age? There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them . I'm a friendly guy and would love to have that friend that feels comfortable…

I wanted this app as well so I decided to just build it myself. Feel free to sign up for the beta, I would love your feedback after launch: https://peapods.com

Building a social network around local events seems obvious and honestly I am very surprised no one has executed it correctly yet. We have a plan for solving the chicken-and-egg problem by bootstrapping off of the existing event platforms.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#323

Post by eurticket »

coryfklein wrote: post #15

For a long time I've been wanting a "Tinder For Platonic Adults" app. I'm not looking for romance or sex, but I want to find nearby matches with similar interests; do you drink, play board games, are you married, how many kids and what age? There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them . I'm a friendly guy and would love to have that friend that feels comfortable…

Had a similar idea, that automated creating meetings based on interests, availability and proximity.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#324

Post by closeparen »

1auralynn wrote: post #153
bertjk wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I kind of agree with you, but what does positive "coordinated social change" look like? I can only think of negative ones, like those that occurred with radical political changes, or else explicit/thinly-veiled marketing campaigns for consumer goods..

Redesigning neighborhoods to be walkable not driveable. Rezoning so that more businesses can open near residential areas, so people can walk or bike to work, walk to get groceries, etc. More people around leads to more serendipitous interactions, maybe improved safety. I guess that's not really coordinated social change, but I think tweaks to the context in which we live can have huge, positive social impacts.

If you move to an area like this right now, you’ll find that the “serendipity” is just people asking you for money.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#325

Post by eurticket »

wool_gather wrote: post #313
mattmanser wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're overthinking this. Pick one, put it in your diary, and go to it. No excuses. In those 30 minutes of action, commit yourself to that future action. Make it easy, in those 30 minutes plan your outfit, how to get there, look up the venue on a map, plan how much cash you'll take or what cards or whatever. Whatever excuses you come up with usually, plan against them. The group will usually say how to find them in t…

This is 100% correct. The problem is that this mental state is just completely fucked in this regard: you know that this advice is good. You know it'll help. You know you'll feel better if you do it; you'll have fun, and it'll even be easier next time! But the little monster still talks you out of it at the last minute, with your hand on the doorknob to leave the house. It can be beaten, and like I said, your advice…

moral support buddies to go to the meeting could be an option, say you meet close to the meetup and then go in together

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#326

Post by abledon »

worldsayshi wrote: post #155
abledon wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm learning elixir and ios/android development to try and conquer this problem via friendly geolocation games which include lots of mandatory icebreakers like talking about favourites colors, current books being read and other harmless dumb stuff that helps get that social brain muscle pumping.

I like that. Would be nice with more games like that.

I'll ping you when I have a rough mvp :)

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#327

Post by dang »

PopsiclePete wrote: post #271
ironjunkie wrote: post #240

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I would also add that the whole minefield of communicating with someone of the opposite sex, especially if you are a man. It seems that you have a high risk of being called up for harassment if you want to start a friendly conversation with a female as a male for example. This is a direct consequence of the whole metoo thing. Over the last 15 years, society has been more and more…

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The comment was problematic, but please don't react to a problematic comment with full-out ideological snark war. That virus only makes things worse.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Edit: this is the third warning in a few weeks. We ban accounts that continue to post uncivilly after we ask them not to. Please review the guidelines and use this site as intended.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#328

Post by jjeaff »

dunpeal wrote: post #319
jjeaff wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think agreddibe marketers or panhandlers has anything to do with not being social in public. No one just walks up to you to strike up a friendship. That would always be weird. When you socialize in public it would be while waiting in line together, or asking the person next to you at restaurant what they are having, or asking the person at the grocery store whether they think that product is better. If you wa…

> If you walk directly up to someone and it isn't a natural connection, everyone will always assume your trying to sell them something or bother them in some way. The point of my comment is why this is happening. The reason "everyone" (in the US) assume that is because that is typically the reason. Because the typical people who approach us in the street are panhandlers and marketers. It's like the early year of SPAM…

>any stranger who tries to talk to us

But again, that isn't the case. If you talk to someone in line at the bakery, most will be very friendly. If you look at someone and make a b-line towards them while they are walking down the street, you will weird them out, no matter the country, culture, whatever.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#329

Post by nkron »

mikestaub wrote: post #322
coryfklein wrote: post #15

For a long time I've been wanting a "Tinder For Platonic Adults" app. I'm not looking for romance or sex, but I want to find nearby matches with similar interests; do you drink, play board games, are you married, how many kids and what age? There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them . I'm a friendly guy and would love to have that friend that feels comfortable…

I wanted this app as well so I decided to just build it myself. Feel free to sign up for the beta, I would love your feedback after launch: https://peapods.com Building a social network around local events seems obvious and honestly I am very surprised no one has executed it correctly yet. We have a plan for solving the chicken-and-egg problem by bootstrapping off of the existing event platforms.

I tried to sign up but couldn't get past the street sign captcha. I tried three times... Google is making it hard these days.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#330

Post by scns »

nkron wrote: post #329
mikestaub wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wanted this app as well so I decided to just build it myself. Feel free to sign up for the beta, I would love your feedback after launch: https://peapods.com Building a social network around local events seems obvious and honestly I am very surprised no one has executed it correctly yet. We have a plan for solving the chicken-and-egg problem by bootstrapping off of the existing event platforms.

I tried to sign up but couldn't get past the street sign captcha. I tried three times... Google is making it hard these days.

Had the same problem on another site. Are you using firefox on linux? In Chromium it works.
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