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Why aren't smart people happier?

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#311

Post by tmtvl »

We could probably argue all day about what 'smart' means and what 'happy' means and about how IQ only measures test taking ability and how happiness is usually self reported and all these things.

But I think a crucial element is that we haven't evolved to be happy. If we had then we probably would have never invented the wheel and stolen fire from the gods and left Africa and create medicine and cars and bombs and those little boxes kids these days look at to see what their friends are up to rather than just asking them personally. I mean, maybe it would have been better if we were happy, but then we wouldn't have had Beethoven's 9th and that would be a shame.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#312

Post by chermi »

pfannkuchen wrote: post #310
jebarker wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me this has 100% been the main source of unhappiness in my life. I wish nobody had ever told me how smart I was as a child. The reality was that I was above average but in an unremarkable collection of kids mostly. I’ve done fine in life academically and career wise but I’ll never live up to the expectations that were planted in my head. Thankfully you can get over this/yourself and let go of ego, ambition, achie…

Isn’t there a danger though of running into differences between oneself and others and concluding that the cause is oneself being “weird” and not the inherent difficulty of bridging the intelligence gap and correspondingly different ways of thinking? Like I could see a very bright kid ending up with low self esteem due to being different if they aren’t told that the differences may be due to their intelligence. Like…

Do you mean that there may be some harm in "hiding" from children their intelligence? I can see that maybe at early ages, but certainly they'll eventually catch on with grades and such? I don't know when different parts of personality manifest, maybe some child psychologist can chime in. But my hunch is that maybe not saying anything until grade 2-3 could potentially help. Above all, I think the key is to tell them that it's trying hard that leads to getting what you want. Obviously that's a bit of a lie, but I think acceptable until a later age.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#313

Post by jihadjihad »

1minusp wrote: post #204
aleph_minus_one wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Yes, but then you know it's a game, so there's no self-deception that you're actually doing something meaningful. I have reasons to believe that many very successful athletes do have this self-deception.

Can be argued that there is intuitive satisfaction/pleasure/utility that spectators gain from watching sports competitions. The payoff is a lot more obvious/instant. Whereas with a lot of tech these days, what needle are we really moving? Are people truly happier scrolling for two hours, compared with watching an edge-of-seat soccer game?

The idea appears to be to simulate the edge-of-seat sensation and, ideally, to charge for the privilege of the experience.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#315

Post by BrokenCogs »

aleph_minus_one wrote: post #261
BrokenCogs wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a good quote, but it suggests that unhappy people are those who overthink and have unrealistic expectations, whereas truly happy people have expectations that match their reality. so in the end, maybe smart people are those who are better at setting their expectations compared to others (maybe more ambitious type A folk)

> whereas truly happy people have expectations that match their reality By your hypothesis people who are poor, at the bottom of society, and told that they have no chance in life are the most happy ones. Additionally, it imples that a great way to make people happy is to brainwash them all the time that they have no chance in life, and additionally suppress them so that their expectations match their reality. This w…

Yes, it feels wrong and dystopian but I think there is a hint of truth there? We're all happier when we're brainwashed by mindless feeds on our phones. Then, once we snap out of it, we're supremely unhappy when we realize that what's in our feeds is not our reality.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#316

Post by johndhi »

jebarker wrote: post #212
chermi wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think smart people are told much more often as kids how bright of a future they have. So they build up expectations of "succeeding" in some sense (becoming a doctor, getting rich, etc.). These are the sort of expectations you mention in your quote. Not only is there often pressure put on you if you're smart, you adopt those expectations yourself. Or at least hold yourself to that standard. Of course, being smart do…

For me this has 100% been the main source of unhappiness in my life. I wish nobody had ever told me how smart I was as a child. The reality was that I was above average but in an unremarkable collection of kids mostly. I’ve done fine in life academically and career wise but I’ll never live up to the expectations that were planted in my head. Thankfully you can get over this/yourself and let go of ego, ambition, achie…

Lot of interesting views in this thread.

One thing I loved from Osho (spiritual guru) is the notion that everyone thinks they are "extraordinary" but actually the happiest person is the person who is ordinary. Being ordinary and just eating breakfast and sleeping and doing a job is - in fact - extraordinarily rare.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#318

Post by alvah »

It's very difficult for most (not all) people to relate to others who are either significantly more or significantly less intelligent than them. So, for example (using IQ as a proxy), most people of average intelligence (~100IQ) would find it difficult to relate to those of ~65IQ, and equally difficult to find much in common with someone much more intelligent than them (140+IQ). Given power laws / bell-curve distribution, most people on the tails of intelligence distribution will spend most of their time surrounded by people they can't really relate to. This does not seem like a recipe for happiness.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#320

Post by abixb »

Applying Occam's Razor -- "smart" people generally are a lot more aware of the ways of our world and its operating mechanics, and a lot of it is not pretty. Therefore, they're able to see behind the veil/'maya' of blissful ignorance, leading to "unhappiness."
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