Latvian here, very true story
Why Russians do not smile (2002)
311–320 of 502 posts
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#312As an American, I have never trusted people who always smile.
I hate to say this, but in my little life, I was right.
I have a conniving greedy, but very successful financially, little sister, whom used her smile as a tool.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#313There's actually a regional difference. Growing up on the east coast in New York people rarely smiled at each other on the street. Someone you didn't know smiling at you could mean a crazy person, or some sort of con artist trying to suck you into interacting with them. Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod…
I have a few Scottish friends who experienced the same thing moving to London. People on the tube thought they were nuts for smiling and occasionally starting a conversation.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#314Earlier quoted context omitted.
A Hindu pm had the habit of sitting next to developers while they worked, sometimes putting a hand on their knee Eh... That doesn't sound like just an Indian being Indian. a Japanese guy came to the hr person complaining the original lady from us had hugged them. Again, it was explained that this is just what Americans do Nope... We don't hug people who don't want to be hugged. The Japanese guy was right to complain,…
Never seen such a lack of self-awareness in a comment. And I've been here quite a while! Americans having to adjust to other people's cultures. Imagine that.
What's next? Having to learn their languages?
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#315This is such a great article imo that really captures fundamental societal and cultural differences. I would say that Sweden has a similar 'grave' approach to life and that smiling is reserved for funny situations. Much as I love the US 'etiquette smile' when passing people in the street and meeting, social pressure to conform can mask stress, anxiety and solemnity. The English used to feel pretty uncomfortable about…
Re: British/American cultural differences, I was reminded of this 1942 handbook for American servicemen in the UK. > British Reserved, Not Unfriendly. You defeat enemy propaganda not by denying that these differences exist, but by admitting them openly and then trying to understand them. For instance : The British are often more reserved in conduct than we. On a small crowded island where forty-five million people li…
That's a brilliant book. A friend of mine once bought an original copy in auction and let me read the whole thing.
I do agree with the GP that the American style has rubbed off on the British. Then again I'm Scottish and we've always been closer to the Irish in that regard.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#316This is such a great article imo that really captures fundamental societal and cultural differences. I would say that Sweden has a similar 'grave' approach to life and that smiling is reserved for funny situations. Much as I love the US 'etiquette smile' when passing people in the street and meeting, social pressure to conform can mask stress, anxiety and solemnity. The English used to feel pretty uncomfortable about…
I've never gotten used to the 'etiquette smile' (I have different internal terms for it) and try to watch out for it as much as possible; I also appear to be physically incapable of expressing an emotion that I do not actually feel so there is no danger of me ever doing this to others. There is a certain shallowness that often accompanies it that often puts me on guard: the larger the smile, the tighter I grab my wal…
I can understand why you might presume it's shallowness but it's really a type of etiquette. Similar to offering a handshake. I'm Scottish rather than American but here babies are often encouraged to smile at family and friends. It's exactly the same as teaching please and thank you
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#317Earlier quoted context omitted.
Russians are so extreme. Even though my favourite professors at Waterloo in Canada were Russian, it wasn't until I learned some basic Russian that I finally got over the typical view of them drilled into people by Hollywood. Your run of the mill Russian is honest about their feelings. Not honest about the facts, no, they can cheat on an insurance filing just fine. But that coldness that so many of them seem to have i…
I once met a russian person online who had learned portuguese, my native language. I was extremely impressed. To this day I've never seen anyone else learn portuguese as a second language.
On my travels, I have met several people who, after living in Brazil for only a few months, learned to speak Portuguese fluently. This always impressed me hugely, because English speakers normally have a really hard time learning a language that has "gendered" nouns and inflected articles/adjectives/pronouns, for example... but many of them seem to do just fine! But I met enough of them to now think Portuguese must be quite easy to learn (or maybe, due to the fact that they MUST learn Portuguese when living in Brazil, given most people only speak Portuguese there).
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#318Earlier quoted context omitted.
> In Middle Ages, someone smiling a lot would be perceived as stupid. Unfortunately 20th-century photo magazines, TV, and later Instagram and selfies changed that...
Why would that be unfortunate? Isn't smiling a good thing?
No, it indicates being an idiot (and/or a fake). The old ones had it right.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#319This the perfect opportunity to suggest a relevant book: "The Almost Nearly Perfect People: Behind the Myth of the Scandinavian Utopia" by Michael Booth. He's a Brit who married a Dane, relocated to Denmark, and was struck by the cultural differences between Scandinavian cultures and his own. So he wrote a book. In it, he observes that smiles and jokes and easy conversation are more common among Brits and Americans t…
That's really interesting. Funnily enough in the UK it's the opposite. The further north you go the chattier and more friendly people get.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#320Estonian here. At Skype (10+ years ago) I observed, that members of large cultures (American, British, Hindu etc.) had real trouble adjusting to the predominantly Estonian-based engineering culture. Probably because they had never had to adjust, commonly people adjust to _their_ culture as it tends to dominate large organizations. But once they did make an honest attempt, that was always most welcomed and gained them…
What did the Ukrainian do to make the American uncomfortable?