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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#301

Post by circlefavshape »

eurekin wrote: post #241
buildsjets wrote: post #7

I sure miss the kind of parties where they have to get an emergency court order to cut power the building at 3am. I learned everything I need to know about throwing parties from Dave Barry. If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What…

Yeah, there's one neat hack about the police. Turns out a lot of them like a good party too.

I was at a rooftop party in Dublin once, and when the cops showed up to shut it down the band started playing "I fought the law" and one of the cops jumped in behind the drumkit and played along

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#302

Post by crazybonkersai »

cvoss wrote: post #114

> The biggest problem at many parties is an endless escalation of volume. If you know how to fix this, let me know. Ideally, a guest breaks a cheap glass. The sound is heard across the house. The helpers immediately spring into action, leaving their conversations behind, looking for towels and a dustpan. The people nearby go mute with sympathetic embarrassment. Much ado is made of finding every shard. Meanwhile you a…

Or just do not serve alcohol. When people are sober, they tend to keep their voices in check. But then again is it fun?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#303

Post by circlefavshape »

I've had a few "Cinderella parties" in my house over the last few years - there is dancing, and the party ends at midnight

It works well for us. I have the music timed so that a tolling bell comes over the soundsystem at midnight and I just kick everyone out. The curfew means people will arrive and get up and dance early, and nobody gets too messy

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#304

Post by eertami »

karel-3d wrote: post #237
selfawareMammal wrote: post #233

> Once an event crosses a threshold (maybe 70%?) of male-or-female dominance, most people of the other gender are likely to decline (or just not-come to your next party) as a result. This is not true for men.

It really is. Men actually don't feel comfortable when they are at majority women party. They start to feel insecure.

I suspect what OP meant is that if the party is majority men, then they are still happy to hang out.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#305

Post by tgv »

sbuccini wrote: post #8

22) Turn the AC wayyyyyyy down when the party starts 23) Buy frozen finger food and put into oven in staggered batches. When a batch is ready, immediately transfer to serving tray and walk through party offering people food. Great task to delegate to that one attendee who doesn't know anyone! 24) Polaroids/Disposable cameras are cheap and seem to be universally adored. Get a few and scatter them throughout the party.…

Not being a USian: what does turning the AC down mean? Set the thermostat to a lower temperature or make it less active (i.e. set it to a higher temperature)?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#306

Post by tgv »

buildsjets wrote: post #7

I sure miss the kind of parties where they have to get an emergency court order to cut power the building at 3am. I learned everything I need to know about throwing parties from Dave Barry. If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What…

Dave Barry is a great source of accurate information, e.g. on how to buy gifts for Christmas. This column [1] includes vital information about parking at a mall, children, etc. A must read for the upcoming season.

[1] https://davebarry.com/misccol/christmas.htm

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#307

Post by frankdenbow »

kashnote wrote: post #34

Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…

Get up and move is the best thing to do, there was an article on HN with the correct algorithm for this but cant find it.

Having a follow up email with everyones contact helps a ton.

I've also given people a prompt of what the question is to ask to get the convo started when people move around. Let people focus with 2-3 people listening mostly to the story of one person.

Many friendships/teams started from these tips!

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#308

Post by darkwater »

teiferer wrote: post #275
dominostars wrote: post #267

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People are able to be themselves and relax when they feel safe. Safe from judgement, rejection, reprisal, etc. When you're with a group of people you don't know, you don't know how safe they are. Getting drunk helps people feel uninhibited from all of that. There are a million other ways to feel safer with new people, but drinking happens to be extremely easy and quick.

> People are able to be themselves and relax when they feel safe. Safe from judgement, rejection, reprisal, etc. When you're with a group of people you don't know, you don't know how safe they are. And how is any of that related to alcohol? My friend can open up to me when we are in a safe environment without the need for first ingesting a drug. It's not the alcohol that causes the safety. Maybe it's a ritual, that c…

> My friend can open up to me when we are in a safe environment without the need for first ingesting a drug. It's not the alcohol that causes the safety.

But that's not a party. I mean, there are people that open up when drunk, but they do it with strangers. But if you are opening up to a friend, a real friend, I would say the norm is to do it without any substance involved. Because the barriers are already not there.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#309

Post by dlisboa »

brational wrote: post #126
thomassmith65 wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures Sorry to be persnickety, but... so is Brazil! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil

Right. Which makes it even more absurd that a Brazilian would make a singular classification to the whole lot.

Nah, Brazilian culture is pretty homogenous in that regard. A lot of our culture is dedicated to not looking posh or seeming too rich, more value is placed on being perceived as down to earth (some exceptions notwithstanding).

Parties are communal and informal partly because of income: everyone realizes bankrolling a large party by themselves is pretty expensive so everyone pitches in. Even if you can afford it you don't want your guests to think you're too rich as that's not as cool.

We're only exposed to formal dinner parties and large orchestrated events through fiction. Even the Brazilian fiction that features it carries a more aristocratic view of parties like that, reserved for the ultra rich who want to feel European.

So that single classification is pretty correct.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#310

Post by dlisboa »

hshdhdhehd wrote: post #171
dlisboa wrote: post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

I like that idea as it means yiu are more likely to host a party. It is also less expensive to do so. The UK has a show dedicated to a competition to see who is the best host of a dinner party. (come dine with me). Its a great show but shows the culture. The poor host has to pay for everything, prep, cook while entertaining the guest and usually put on some show or activity for extra points.

> I like that idea as it means yiu are more likely to host a party. It is also less expensive to do so.

Yeah, you're expected to help in some way. The idea being that a party at someone's house is likely an inconvenience to that person so if you want more of that to happen you should make sure the host feels barely any pain. Even if you don't bring anything to the party you should be helping place the table, carrying furniture, doing dishes...something.

People who don't help at all aren't well perceived and will probably not be invited again.

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