Earlier quoted context omitted.
Somewhat strange to see the narrative flips again on HN. The pendulum not only swings back in other areas, but this too.
Huh? What 'narrative' is flipping here?
The narrative that you make your own luck vs. not. Duh.
Nine things I learned in ninety years
301–310 of 405 posts
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#302A bit of a contrarian take: the effect of many of the aphorisms and much of the wisdom in this document is to empower bad people and allow bad things to happen unimpeded. All at the expense of the greater good, or at least your own.
He quotes Spinoza: "A man strong in character hates no one, is angry with no one... is indignant with no one, scorns no one..." What I'm reading is that Spinoza never met a Donald Trump, even though I know very well he encountered even worse in his life. I'd need to be not just a buddha, but the capital-B Buddha himself, to find relevance in this advice. If I somehow managed to do so, and if everyone else followed my enlightened example in a Kantian sense, things would really suck.
Sometimes we need to hate. Otherwise we wouldn't have the capacity.
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#303I thoroughly enjoyed this read, and affirm many of these observations.
I find it incredibly challenging to come to these ideas without having walked a path which consistently challenges someone who strives to succeed through challenge, without a mentor. Ofc this is just my opinion.
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#304Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's wild how much of what we chalk up to merit is really just the invisible scaffolding of luck: being born in the right place, with the right wiring, at the right time...
There's certainly an element of luck. But every individual, no matter how unlucky their circumstances, has the opportunity to make good or bad choices from that starting point. It is not like people are powerless victims of the unlucky birth they had.
A person born in a war torn country who is killed at a young age doesn't get much opportunity for good or bad choices. That's what I think of regarding bad luck.
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#305Since he might not be known to most (especially a younger audience), the author is a writer best known for many of the Choose Your Own Adventure books that were hugely successful in the 80s. Jimmy Maher wrote about them recently https://www.filfre.net/2025/09/choose-your-own-adventure/
Discussed yesterday, for anyone curious:
Choose Your Own Adventure - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45337450 - Sept 2025 (80 comments)
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#306[dead]
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#307Earlier quoted context omitted.
Folks, please try to separate opposing views from downvoting. I think zwnow raised som interesting discussion and apparently he speaks from his own experience whick is probably different than yours.
I would say he is being voted down not for his views, but for the extremely disrespectful tone "another old person who thinks they figured out life".
I did not read that as "extremely disrespectful". At least not for a document someone decided to share with everyone on the internet.
He spoke his mind, it was not super polite, but in no way extreme.
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#308I love reading wisdom and insights like this.
Are there other similar things out there on the web? Anyone can share?
(Wish there are more posts like this on HN)
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#309> what an outsized role is played by luck This speaks to me. So much of our life circumstances are beyond our control (parents, genetics, geography, society, wider economy, etc.) It's humbling, how much of our success or failure is influenced by pure chance.
On the other hand, many things attributed to chance are actually the aggregate effect of other people's choices. If we make choices based on not just what's best for ourselves but what's best for all of us, we will all suddenly become more "lucky". And vice versa, if we only think about ourselves that luck will diminish.
I was thinking something very similar as I read the letter and hear people talk about luck in a similar way. I think attributing things to luck, while seemingly humble, can be dismissive and/or simplistic. Yes, we're all lucky to be in our situations -- living in this time, fed, privileged. Though, whether this luck is experienced positively or not is entirely subjective. Also, to ascribe our given situation to luck dismisses the concerted efforts of all living things of this time and past that have guided us to our current situation -- once again, without qualifying it as good or bad. It is almost disabling in it's message. The flip side is that many things happened that were dreamed, planned, intended, and carried out to land us in our situation. This to me feels more empowering, hopeful, appreciative, and also responsible than casting off as merely luck.
Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years
#310> 3) to consider what others may be thinking and feeling Personally I find myself often considering how other people might feel too much and end up being a people pleaser, so I need to work on that aspect of my social skills
As a lifelong obsequious people pleaser, I have realized that I make it about me by trying to figure out what people want from me, or I'm focused on how I can look better in their eyes. Instead, truly trying to understand how someone is feeling and reflecting that to them has been so much more gratifying for me (and hopefully for my friends and family.)
+1. I say this jokingly, but in a sense being a people-pleaser vs being empathetic is a “skill issue.”
Being focused on how people might think of you is shallow and tastes like narcissism. Even if in your own mind you are “thinking about others” too much you are really only thinking about yourself through their eyes.
Being present in the moment with someone and their feelings involves getting out of your own narrative.