The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community • Hacker News Board

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#301

Post by rjzzleep » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:45 PM UTC

fragmede wrote: post #234

goethes_kind wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm in my 30s but I'm feeling this so hard. Growing up we used to have these kid/youth centres that were run by local Catholic organizations. We used to hang out there after school. Ostensibly the point was that there'd be 30 minutes of catechism doctrine, but we didn't really care about that. To us it was just a the place where everyone would be. I miss that so much. A place where you can just go and meet people you…

You don't like being drunk that much, or like climbing, but, were your parents really that Catholic? We, as humans, need a dream to build towards, be in service of, and find our place in. What are we doing here and why are we doing it? For those of us who haven't figured it out yet, attaching to someone else's purpose gives us one and we don't have to figure it out ourselves. You need to find religion, just don't cal…

Parent poster doesn’t want to have to drink to socialize. And bar meets are just that. It’s actually a huge problem in society.

Ever stream something or go to the cinema ? What does it show you? You’re happy => you drink to celebrate. You’re sad => drink out of sorrow. You want to hang out with friends => you go for drinks. DEFCON for example perpetuates that same behavior.

Sure, one part is loss of community, but the other half is toxic social behavior that is perpetuated by Hollywood. The people that don’t like this but want to belong will perpetuate this cycle for fear of getting ostracized.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#302

Post by ryandrake » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:46 PM UTC

the_snooze wrote: post #98

bustling-noose wrote: post #62

About 9 years ago I traveled to the US from India for education. Smartphones were still not very common in India cause data was not as cheap as it is today. When I was in the bus commuting everyone’s head was buried in their phones. I thought to myself this is such a sad thing. Look outside talk to each other but the every single person had an iPhone and was doing something on the phone. Fast forward to 2024 and ever…

When I'm out at a sit-down restaurant, I always make a mental note of everyone who has their phone out on the table. It's usually 50-50. Not necessarily using them, but within view, as if they're waiting for something else instead of prioritizing the people who took the time to be physically around them in the same place and time. No wonder lots of people feel disconnected. They forgot how to connect in even the most…

Not only that, but also in people's hands. I've seen on many occasions a couple sitting together at a two-seat table, obviously they're together for dinner, both silently scrolling on their smartphones. Not even saying a word to each other. It's eerie and creepy, like something out of Black Mirror. Last time I pointed this out on HN, most repliers were either defending this behavior or being sarcastic with "Well why don't you walk over and tell them how to live their lives!"

This has kind of been normalized!

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#303

Post by volkl48 » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:48 PM UTC

noworriesnate wrote: post #86

bustling-noose wrote: post #62

About 9 years ago I traveled to the US from India for education. Smartphones were still not very common in India cause data was not as cheap as it is today. When I was in the bus commuting everyone’s head was buried in their phones. I thought to myself this is such a sad thing. Look outside talk to each other but the every single person had an iPhone and was doing something on the phone. Fast forward to 2024 and ever…

I've noticed the same thing even on airplanes, where everyone is offline. Unfortunately in that case almost everything is either sleeping, consuming corporate entertainment, or reading books. BUT there are always a few people who are open to talking. I prefer talking to being on the phone when I'm in flight. I get to have a long conversation about 1/4 of flights. If you read old books like Pilgrim's Progress you see…

At least in the US, most aircraft have internet now - many people are not offline. And even if they're not paying for the internet service, a number of airlines deliver their free entertainment services through personal devices - so they may be watching the same sort of content that would be in a seatback TV on other airlines.

Speaking personally:

I also tend to just load entire books onto my phone for flights. Reading on a small screen doesn't bother me.

With regards to talking - I like talking to strangers. However, the plane is one of the few places I try to avoid striking up conversations. People around me having loud (and it is loud, because talking quietly on a plane is impossible) conversations for hours about nonsense is something incredibly annoying to be on the receiving end of. While I enjoy actually having a conversation, I also know that by doing it I'll be annoying a half-dozen other people not involved in it but forced to listen to it in an environment where they can't do anything to escape it, and it feels rude to do that - especially since I don't enjoy when I'm in their position.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#304

Post by throw7 » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:49 PM UTC

phil21 wrote: post #180

vegadw wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What frustrates me is that, it seems (Read as: the following is just my vibe) that the majority of 3rd places left are religious in nature, but I, personally, don't want to be religious or raise children that are. There are some options, of course, but they're limited and often of poor quality, at least locally. Libraries are trying to adapt to fill this gap, and maker spaces spring up but most don't have funding to…

The mad rush to as quickly abolish religious practices in mainstream U.S. culture without any form of societal replacement is puzzling to me. I am no fan of religion having grown up in an exceedingly religious environment. But it was always completely obvious to me even as a child that the primary purpose of religion was to form local communities and have others with shared values to rely on. We seem to be doing it w…

There was a post recently about dunbar's number and it seemed straightforward to me, while reading it, that what it's really revealing is what it takes to scale above dunbar's number and that what we call "religion" is exactly that "binding" and "reification".

"Religion" in this case is not just about religion either, but also nations. The U.S. has our gods, such as Washington & Hamilton, and places of worship such as the "temples" in D.C., but we've also censored leaders like Jackson & Lee, and torn down slave-owning statues.

We're living through a deconstruction of history and rebuilding an inverted digital world. I don't think it's been productive. It actually almost feels like an end to history to me.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#305

Post by panstromek » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:51 PM UTC

thih9 wrote: post #70

HN readers of any age who felt alone at some point and found community - what worked for you?

I go through event listings on fb, meetup, and various other sources and just bookmark and visit random events that spark my interest. I visited a city planning debate this week, and next week I'm going to see a waste processing plant.

Few months ago I found a recurring event where a small group of strangers discuss deep topics from a deck of cards with questions, which are often very personal. This was probably the most impactful, I've met some new friends there.

Generally though, it's a funnel. Sometimes you find somebody, sometimes not, I just try to make a lot of opportunities.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#306

Post by [deleted] » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:52 PM UTC

phil21 wrote: post #180

vegadw wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What frustrates me is that, it seems (Read as: the following is just my vibe) that the majority of 3rd places left are religious in nature, but I, personally, don't want to be religious or raise children that are. There are some options, of course, but they're limited and often of poor quality, at least locally. Libraries are trying to adapt to fill this gap, and maker spaces spring up but most don't have funding to…

The mad rush to as quickly abolish religious practices in mainstream U.S. culture without any form of societal replacement is puzzling to me. I am no fan of religion having grown up in an exceedingly religious environment. But it was always completely obvious to me even as a child that the primary purpose of religion was to form local communities and have others with shared values to rely on. We seem to be doing it w…

[deleted]

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#307

Post by hiAndrewQuinn » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:53 PM UTC

krapp wrote: post #256

2snakes wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are certain elements that are not true. But other ones are true. There are many ways to alleviate suffering.

God is not true, at least not the sense that any religion claims (God as an abstraction and a meme is as real as any other, as real as Harry Potter or Slenderman) Claims of absolute moral right or authority derived from divine right are not true. Claims made by the religious that belief in God is a prerequisite to morality, community or cultural identity are not true. Claims made by religious teachings about the natu…

False beliefs are often much more instrumentally useful than true beliefs.

I notice I usually walk away from conversations with fellow believers about the nature of God, the Bible etc feeling closer to and more trusting of them even compared to if I talk with them about e.g. trolley problems or what their take on moral realism is, especially if I later confirm they in fact walk the walk by living in a way which agrees with those principles. There's just something about the religious framing that gives it that extra kick.

The actual question of whether God is real is irrelevant. I just assume they're playing ball the same way I am, and that's often enough to kickstart the friendship.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#308

Post by kevinob11 » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:54 PM UTC

flappyeagle wrote: post #277

autoexecbat wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They probably have some internal churn targets to hit, else people will start to figure out that the app isn't worth their time and try a different one

It creates a much worse problem actually. Why have a committed relationship when you can always press a button to look at hotties and have a pull at the sex slot machine? If they design the system right, their audience just won't marry or have long term stable relationships

I can think of a few reasons why people want (either already or after enough pulls of the slot machine) a committed relationship.

Though to be clear, just because I think the other more stable thing is valuable to folks even with the availability of the sex slot machine, I still don't love businesses trying to push slot machines or any kind really.

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#309

Post by djom » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:55 PM UTC

diputsmonro wrote: post #231

djom wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

I don't want to get into a giant political debate here, but I would urge you to follow the spirit of this post and actually talk to some trans people, in person, to get their perspective before voting for people who demonize them and take their rights away. All of those are rooted in transphobia. The entire point of those bathroom bills to "protect women" is built upon the foundational idea that trans people are dang…

[flagged]

Re: The upstream cause of the youth mental health crisis is the loss of community

#310

Post by [deleted] » Fri, Aug 02, 2024, 6:55 PM UTC

flappyeagle wrote: post #277

autoexecbat wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They probably have some internal churn targets to hit, else people will start to figure out that the app isn't worth their time and try a different one

It creates a much worse problem actually. Why have a committed relationship when you can always press a button to look at hotties and have a pull at the sex slot machine? If they design the system right, their audience just won't marry or have long term stable relationships

[deleted]