The dating app paradox

Post by slothtrop » Wed, Feb 14, 2024, 1:11 AM UTC

assimpleaspossi wrote: post #279

sweetro17 wrote: post #248

Former dating app founder here - lots of thoughts on the space - feel free to AMA High level though, there's a lot of human behavior which makes dating frustrating with or without apps. At it's core, even in the best case, dating has A LOT of rejection. Dating apps introduce more opportunity for incremental validation (you got liked!) but also incremental rejection (you got ghosted!) and the sheer number of interacti…

The solution to dating app problems is actual human contact and throwing dating apps away. There is too much to get wrong with text only. Say the wrong thing online and you're done. Say the wrong thing in person and you can judge by facial expressions that you did and get a chance to correct a misunderstanding. You also get a chance to actually see what the other person subliminally likes and dislikes. All in real ti…

Post by slothtrop » Wed, Feb 14, 2024, 1:14 AM UTC

sweetro17 wrote: post #282

carabiner wrote: post #273

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What about throwing out the whole swipe-app paradigm with the matches and algo-stack and going back to okcupid style profiles that you can browse? Anyone can message anyone. It was the best dating site by far.

OkCupid actually wrote an article about this that's pretty interesting - https://theblog.okcupid.com/why-okcupid-is-changing-how-you-... tl;dr tons of spam / offensive messages. I actually think that with advances in NLP and content moderation since then, you could re-introduce a paradigm like this with potentially less spam.

Post by throwaway2037 » Wed, Feb 14, 2024, 1:14 AM UTC

user_7832 wrote: post #235

Exoristos wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being able to start a friendly conversation under circumstances where an average male might fail is a prime sign of date-ability. While humans are very complicated, the general animal rule that males must impress females still exists at some level in some form.

> Being able to start a friendly conversation under circumstances where an average male might fail is a prime sign of date-ability. Under this assumption, would the average man be undateble? (Not that I agree or disagree with the rest, but this seems odd to me.)

Post by [deleted] » Wed, Feb 14, 2024, 1:15 AM UTC

Legend2440 wrote: post #286

maxlamb wrote: post #284

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve dated for years without apps trying to meet people organically, and then also years through dating apps, and I’ve had way more opportunities for human contact with dating apps. I mean the whole point of dating apps is to meet in person once you feel the person might be a good match

Really? I find that it is way easier to meet people in person. In real life, girls approach me at the gym. On apps, I get maybe one like a week and it's usually not someone I'm interested in.

Post by throwaway2037 » Wed, Feb 14, 2024, 1:18 AM UTC

mancerayder wrote: post #214

rowyourboat wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm always so confused by the advice to go to bookstores to meet people. What kind of bookstores do you guys go to where the customers talk with each other?

That's a recipe for women to feel creeped out. Even at Meetups women get bugged by men who for lack of a better term lack awareness and communication skills. And by this I do imply men talking to women, because despite claims to the contrary, it's the accepted norm (and there are always exceptions). That's my experience, it may be different in same sex communities. There's no great place for people to meet anymore.