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How to communicate when trust is low without digging yourself into a deeper hole

charity.wtf

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Re: How to communicate when trust is low without digging yourself into a deeper hole

#301
post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“try it out!” translates to an emphatic command, possibly shouted, to me.

Do you read fiction? I ask because if you interpret the above like this, I'd imagine you'd similarly misread or get confused often then.

I think the context of it being an imperative is what makes it so jarring to me.

Re: How to communicate when trust is low without digging yourself into a deeper hole

#302
post #294
post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Czechs do not call themselves Eastern Europe.

The countries Czech people migrate to do, though.

Do "the countries" want to live 30 years in the past, or do you? Dividing Europe primarily into western or eastern is utterly useless categorization, as of today. You might try to divide EU that way, and only EU.

Classifying Czechs as closer to Russians than to Austrians does not have basis in today's economy, culture, geography, politics. It fits when you're considering a specific historical period or linguistics.

Re: How to communicate when trust is low without digging yourself into a deeper hole

#303
post #109

This is all well and good advice. But sometimes you have to work with people who demonstrate traits of Narcissism Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. E.g. someone who never accepts responsibility or someone frequently demonstrating emotional lability. I am not sure the best course of action in these situations.

Unfortunately, these diagnoses seem to get flung around by people quite unqualified to do so. My guess is that context and timing matters a lot and that these conditions are quite rare.

True, a more useful diagnosis in such case is "I don't trust this person and I expect anything I say will be used against me". Am I qualified to determine that? I think I am.

Re: How to communicate when trust is low without digging yourself into a deeper hole

#304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah I think it's important to note that these techniques are for situations where trust has broken down due to something external, not due to a fundamental issue with one of the people involved. This stuff will never help with narcissistic ass holes.

Narcissist seems to be a label that’s often applied to confident people who are direct in what they say, and because they know that what they are saying is correct (hence the confidence), they tend to be pretty inflexible on any suggested alternatives. The other parties naturally feel unheard or steamrolled over and end up calling the person a narcissistic asshole, but in my personal experience, that’s hardly ever ac…

To be clear, I don't think genuine pathological narcissism is actually a particularly common trait, maybe 5% type levels.

The problem is that a single genuine narcissist can make an environment absolutely horrible for a large number of people, meaning that even at 1/20, if you work in an area with 50-60 people, you're likely to have at least 2-3 narcissists in that group.

One other thing, I wouldn't call narcissism a "mental illness". There's a difference between a "mental illness" and a personality disorder. Narcissist Personality Disorder is effectively the clinical name for what is commonly known as "being an ass-hole", in the same way that anti-social personality disorder is just the clinical name for what is commonly known as "being a psycho".

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