301–310 of 450 posts
My partner and I have been together for 7 years, we bought a house together, haven’t found a compelling reason to get married. Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. The most prominent benefits I’ve learned are some situations around visitation rights, and avoiding being compelled to testify against your spouse. It comes from a very dubious history of the husband e…
> Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. You can file separately.
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> living only for myself, doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. This. And ultimately having kids with this person is another ego-exposing (and hopefully ego busting - but that's not guaranteed) exercise that contemporary societies gave up trying with varying excuses ranging "economical" to "climate saving" reasons.
Do you see a lot the argument that having kids is bad for the environment? Can I ask where? I do not disagree, I just rarely hear it, it's something people are afraid to day out loud in my social network, it's socially unacceptable, but it's changing a bit.
I’ll risk it and defend marriage to this crowd. To me getting married was about getting out of myself. As someone who got married later in life, I’d spent decades living only for myself, doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Relationships were shallow and lasted only so long as convenient. By choosing to get married and intentional build a family, I knew I was sacrificing a lot of ego and choosing to give…
> I’d spent decades living only for myself, doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it Interestingly, this is why I broke up with a fairly long term partner. I just wanted to do what I want when I wanted to do it. We didn't have any kids, so that was easy. But I lost a bunch of money from our shared house/possessions, I just let them have almost everything because I didn't care too much. Maybe I did it in the w…
Probably, yes.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> living only for myself, doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. This. And ultimately having kids with this person is another ego-exposing (and hopefully ego busting - but that's not guaranteed) exercise that contemporary societies gave up trying with varying excuses ranging "economical" to "climate saving" reasons.
Do you see a lot the argument that having kids is bad for the environment? Can I ask where? I do not disagree, I just rarely hear it, it's something people are afraid to day out loud in my social network, it's socially unacceptable, but it's changing a bit.
It is not exactly the same argument, but the idea that children are bad for the environment is implied (at least that's how I understand it)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Do you see a lot the argument that having kids is bad for the environment? Can I ask where? I do not disagree, I just rarely hear it, it's something people are afraid to day out loud in my social network, it's socially unacceptable, but it's changing a bit.
When I ask younger people why they don't want children, many answer me that they don't want to raise children in a world doomed due to global warming. It is not exactly the same argument, but the idea that children are bad for the environment is implied (at least that's how I understand it)
But I can totally relate to the fact that raising children without future seems absurd.
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"I know I’ve seen fiction where it requires little more than cohabitation, but that’s not a real thing." New Hampshire: Common Law Marriage: "persons cohabiting and acknowledging each other as husband and wife, and generally reputed to be such, for the period of 3 years, and until the decease of one of them, shall thereafter be deemed to have been legally married." (N.H. Stat. §457:39) So not really a fiction. There…
Your own NH quote, emphasis added: “people cohabitating and acknowledging each other as husband and wife …” It’s not something that happens by accident just by cohabitation, even under that rule. Your recent PA law is in accord with my point that the rules usually require mutual intent to marry plus public presentation.
Emphasis mine. Merely stating you're husband and wife is "little more" in my book. It's pretty easy for people to think you're married, especially if you tell people you're husband and wife to make the conversation easier.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"I know I’ve seen fiction where it requires little more than cohabitation, but that’s not a real thing." New Hampshire: Common Law Marriage: "persons cohabiting and acknowledging each other as husband and wife, and generally reputed to be such, for the period of 3 years, and until the decease of one of them, shall thereafter be deemed to have been legally married." (N.H. Stat. §457:39) So not really a fiction. There…
That essentially just says "if you got married and told everyone you were but never filed the paperwork, it counts." It doesn't seem like, if it came to it, you told a court or government that you weren't married that they'd go "but you are."
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"Alimony is essential in cultures and marriages where one person gets to make a career for themselves and the other does the household chores, takes care of the children, and so forth." There are many cultures in the US. They way you describe it seems very old fashioned, which is not that common these days. I'd rather see alimony removed. If you do that, people will choose arrangements that better suit them. If you l…
>There are many cultures in the US. They way you describe it seems very old fashioned, which is not that common these days. I think single income households will make a comeback. Increasingly, domestic work, such as childcare, cooking, cleaning, etc., is so expensive that you'd need to make an above average wage just to afford it. A lot of the work is low "productivity" and does not lend itself to automation.
Most people don't pay for domestic work. Most people do the chores themselves. Childcare costs can be an issue in some situations. I don't see us ever going back to single income families on a large scale. It's pretty simple, costs are too high and real pay continues to erode.