The apps that Americans search to “delete” the most • Hacker News Board

Re: The apps that Americans search to “delete” the most

#301

Post by neura » Fri, Mar 17, 2023, 8:39 PM UTC

xwolfi wrote: post #272

jstarfish wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> While I'm aware my relationship wasn't perfect, the standards promoted by those aesthetic Insta influencers were really impossible to obtain in real life. In the 4 months I dabbled with Instagram, I was shocked by how toxic and outright false the pop psychology memes were. They were stereotypical, frequently backwards, and deliberately misapplied. And all of that is before the cluster-B LARPing. "Your partner won't…

It's funny, I am married with a child, do my best and my wife too, but sometimes she gets dragged into meme-expectation that take her a long time to recover from. I cant see nor understand much of the source of these: Im an immigrant and I cant read her native language, and I dont know if it s a girl thing or if it's actually me not fitting reasonable expectations, but damn I wished everyone could look at their own r…

I had an ex that did this based on fantasy novels. "Why can't you be more of a man's man?" "What, from your romance novels?" "Yes!" "Ummm..."

Ironically, the thought never even occurred to me to respond with "Why can't you be more of a ?"

Oh well, we haven't been together for a long time. :)

Point being, it's not just instagram or even social media at large. They've just made the situation worse. This is deep rooted in most of society and isn't going to end any time soon. Just need to find people that are strong enough to not fall victim to this (even if they don't bring it up, like our partners did).

Re: The apps that Americans search to “delete” the most

#302

Post by neura » Fri, Mar 17, 2023, 8:41 PM UTC

pixl97 wrote: post #215

logifail wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> While I'm aware my relationship wasn't perfect [...] My $0.02: We are taught not to aim for perfection at work[0], that should apply to relationships too. [0] https://hbr.org/tip/2020/02/dont-let-perfect-be-the-enemy-of...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem >It is also known as the marriage problem, the sultan's dowry problem, the fussy suitor problem, the googol game, and the best choice problem. The internet and the options it gives, I believes leads people to think they have far more relationship options then they actually have, and the options they think they have are not as good as they believe. A lot of people put a…

I just want to note one little difference. "The internet and the >perceived< options it gives, ..."

Re: The apps that Americans search to “delete” the most

#303

Post by neura » Fri, Mar 17, 2023, 8:43 PM UTC

Zak wrote: post #165

jvm___ wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All the ideas that the world will be perfect if you would just think thoughts like these... "manifest what you want from the world" and "think positive thoughts and everything will be ok" Is actually kind of true when you think about all the algorithms that run social media. If you only ever search for cats and scroll past anything political, the algorithms will learn what you like and feed you more cats. So, if you'…

Youtube occasionally, but regularly tries to show me culture war content even though I never watch it and usually tell it "don't recommend this".

Yeah, it's very much a game of "well, other people fit this profile, but also tend to watch this other thing, we should recommend that, as it will probably hook this person as well. With any luck, they'll be grateful that we introduced them!"

Re: The apps that Americans search to “delete” the most

#304

Post by neura » Fri, Mar 17, 2023, 8:46 PM UTC

harry8 wrote: post #195

Zak wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Youtube occasionally, but regularly tries to show me culture war content even though I never watch it and usually tell it "don't recommend this".

It's like those "drug pushers" we were told about in school but don't seem to actually exist who use weed to constantly try to get you onto more lucrative for them heroin no matter how many times you say "no thanks." Heard that so many times at school, never heard anyone encountering anything like it in the real world. But here we are with google, facebrick et al saying "come on, just try a little culture war" becaus…

I think this was an issue that was really only an issue for specific geographic areas, but also an easy bandwagon to jump on and look like you're "fighting the good fight". It was an actual problem in one area from my childhood, but never saw it anywhere else.

Otherwise, fully and wholeheartedly agree that it's now a global issue and is indeed real. Welcome to the "global community" we were always told was going to be such an advancement for society.

Re: The apps that Americans search to “delete” the most

#305

Post by neura » Fri, Mar 17, 2023, 8:51 PM UTC

eganist wrote: post #84

neura wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Instagram democratizes the mental illness that used to only affect child stars and the hollywood famous." Wow. I have problems with Instragram, but I've never tried to sum it up into a single statement and while this is rather specific and may not include all the problems I _feel_ are there, it really does bring home the main issue, for me. A little snark in there about democratizing, as some people will always put…

> A little snark in there about democratizing, as some people will always put a positive spin on such things Let's try this: "Instagram makes pandemic the mental illness that used to only affect child stars and the hollywood famous."

Is that any more accurate though? I agree that the headline is snark, but... content creators are a large part of the problem, though it's such a complex problem that I'm not sure how to even guess at which is more liable unless you simply take the "whoever is the last in the production line has the ability to prevent this kind of content" view, in which case it's pretty obviously ... well, I was going to say obvious the content provider, but no... it's you. The problem is likely you, and your inability to avoid this kind of content.