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Never pay for online dating (2010)

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Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#301

Post by LtWorf »

romankolpak wrote: post #82

Related personal anecdote: I am experimenting with Tinder subscription at the moment, and it feels incredibly exploitative. When you make a profile, matches are frequent and you can tell that you show up for people. However it gradually falls down with time, and the only predictable and obvious way to get back up is to pay for Boosts and/or Priority Likes. Right now my 6-month old profile gets ZERO likes outside of t…

2-3 years ago you could use a GPS faker, stay somewhere random a week and then return and you'd have many matches again.

I experimented a lot with it because I used to work at a different online dating company (where I was also doing scummy things).

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#302

Post by teeray »

skizm wrote: post #75
teeray wrote: post #9

You, as a user of a dating app, are forever in a Nash Equilibrium with the dating app. When you find the love of your life, you delete the app forever. Therefore, everything the app does to help you find that person works directly against their own goals (user growth, “engagement”. subscriptions).

When you find the love of your life you move from user to free marketing. People constantly talk about how they met, early dates, etc. New users always enter the dating market, either by just younger people getting older or breakups, divorce, erc. So it seems like it wouldn't be in the best long term interest to keep users in the dopamine loop.

Sounds good in theory, but consider two dating apps: one with hockey stick user growth and high retention, and another with stagnant growth but high user churn. Which one would get the VC dollars? The story you tell would present itself in metrics as the latter app (high churn).

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#303

Post by lake_vincent »

actionablefiber wrote: post #105
lake_vincent wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Their motto is that their app is "meant to be deleted." They don't want to you stay on it, but they DO want you to tell all your single friends about it. Hinge's free tier is absolutely excellent and I have gotten multiple dates, as well as a girlfriend, without paying a cent. What's the catch, you may ask? As with most dating apps, let's just say that if you don't have a "highly competitive" profile, you will strugg…

> Their motto is that their app is "meant to be deleted." I have seen this on NYC subway adverts, but is there anything substantially different about their app or business model that backs up their motto?

I mean, in a way yes. For example, super easy to delete your account. No dark patterns or hoops to jump through. Also, the profiles themselves are pretty minimal - they are like ads, and are practically disposable as such. Once I got what I came for, I just threw it out.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#304

Post by xtracto »

bartimus wrote: post #293
jefftk wrote: post #12

OkCupid was bought by Match Group (who run almost all online dating sites, including Match, eHarmony, and Tinder) in 2011 and took down this post not long after. EDIT: the purchase was Feb 2011 [1] and the post was removed sometime between Jan 2011 [2] and Mar 2011 [3]. The rest of the blog was still up at the time [4]. [1] https://www.npr.org/2011/02/03/133456140/The-Last-Word-In-Bu... [2] https://web.archive.org/we…

So there's still a void for a dating service to be filled?

Im tempted to make a service where you "deposit" some fee to subscribe, I then return part of the deposit to you on a monthly basis UNTIL you find a match on the site. If/once you find a match, I keep the rest.

That should align goals for both the company and the partner seeker.

EDIT: I'll be getting interest from the remainder your payment every month, as part of my profit scheme.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#305

Post by evouga »

jjulius wrote: post #232

>As a founder of OkCupid I'm of course motivated to point out our competitors' flaws. So take what I have to say today with a grain of salt. I really appreciate this kind of self-awareness, and find it incredibly lacking from a lot of things that founders, CEOs, et. al. post, whether it's on a blog, an HN comment or on Twitter.

I used to be play Magic the Gathering with Christian back in NYC. He was a smart, down-to-earth guy. I didn't realize he was an OkCupid cofounder until several months after meeting him.

He got canceled a few years ago for saying off-color things at an academic conference... hope he's doing OK these days.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#306

Post by aliqot »

harvey9 wrote: post #69
troupe wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying about A/B or how hallways fit into online dating.

I take it to mean people so different in socio economic status that they would never be in the same building in real life.

it was data that indicated to them that there were two groups, an attractive group and the remainder.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#308

Post by mattmaroon »

ketzo wrote: post #255
Cloudef wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dating apps do not work because you are not actually present. You have the attention of hundreds of people at the same time, so unless you decide to meet up right away, the other party immediately loses interest. Most of the people are just looking for sex or something less serious, and the apps heavily paywall males. They are cancer. Meeting through friends is probably the safest, as that at least gives you some saf…

I mean -- I've had multiple medium-to-long term, fulfilling relationships that started on dating apps. They do work sometimes. Yeah, it's a shitty environment, and it's very much a numbers game (especially for hetero guys), but again -- you're coming from an extremely judgmental place.

The number of men with the attitude that the problem couldn’t possibly be the way they use the apps is astounding.

A female friend of mine took some very expensive online dating class run by a former data scientist from one of these apps and she started her own side business fixing mens profiles. I was very skeptical at first but I have several friends who’ve used her. Each of them went from basically no success at all to getting dates every week.

The good news is while there’s probably nothing you can do to make it a truly enjoyable experience, online dating can work quite well largely because the competition is so poor. Ever watch a female friend swipe? It’s amazing how bad most men are at this.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#309

Post by opportune »

carabiner wrote: post #209
jefftk wrote: post #12

OkCupid was bought by Match Group (who run almost all online dating sites, including Match, eHarmony, and Tinder) in 2011 and took down this post not long after. EDIT: the purchase was Feb 2011 [1] and the post was removed sometime between Jan 2011 [2] and Mar 2011 [3]. The rest of the blog was still up at the time [4]. [1] https://www.npr.org/2011/02/03/133456140/The-Last-Word-In-Bu... [2] https://web.archive.org/we…

Match has turned all of its apps into tinder. That is, gambling-like "one more swipe" photo centric dating apps, where the artificial restriction of choice keeps every person starved. Tinder is casual hookups, okcupid is leftist tinder for relationships, Hinge is politically moderate tinder for traditionalists, and so on. Each is a different marketing segment, but the same basic idea that gets men to pay to meet wome…

I would not say Hinge artificially restricts choice. You are limited in how many “likes” you can send each day, but it’s a different model where each like is actually a notification/puts you in someone’s “inbox”, so letting everybody like too much would make it too spammy to work.

That model is also quite good because you don’t need to pay for women to notice you. Those 10 people you like will notice you anyway, unlike other apps where you could like 1000 profiles and barely be seen by any of them.

I personally have found Hinge very effective compared to other apps without paying a cent. My like -> match -> date conversion rate was literally two orders of magnitude better than any other app.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#310

Post by opportune »

somedude895 wrote: post #123
romankolpak wrote: post #82

Related personal anecdote: I am experimenting with Tinder subscription at the moment, and it feels incredibly exploitative. When you make a profile, matches are frequent and you can tell that you show up for people. However it gradually falls down with time, and the only predictable and obvious way to get back up is to pay for Boosts and/or Priority Likes. Right now my 6-month old profile gets ZERO likes outside of t…

Back when I was on Tinder I'd delete my profile and make a new one once every three months or so, seemed to do the trick.

I am pretty sure they also boost you when you start using the app again after a period of inactivity, but not sure if the implementation/magnitude is different from the new-user bonus
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