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Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

femfosec.com

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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#301

Post by dheera »

lainga wrote: post #120
dheera wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> specific to male cofounders I guess what I was trying to say is, male founders have a few biological choices that female founders don't, and I'm suggesting that it should be considered unethical to set industry work-hour standards to a level that only males can achieve because males are able to de-prioritize biology. An article about one of the most widely acclaimed male founders today: "As an Apple employee in the…

What aspects of male biology are they de-prioritizing? The need to participate in child-rearing?

Males can more easily wait till 40+ to have children.

Males don't have periods. If work hours are kept to a healthy level, both males and females can achieve those work hours averaged over a long time because there is sufficient time for rest. If sufficient rest isn't planned into the schedule, there isn't time for periods, and that culture unfairly favors males.

Males don't get pregnant, and are often looked down upon, or lose promotion and investment opportunities, for working less hours to help their pregnant or child-rearing partners. The males who set aside time for family are out-competed by males who either (a) don't value having a partner or children or (b) treat their family like crap by not being there for them. (I'm saying this from direct observations of acquaintances and friends.)

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#302

Post by jluxenberg »

throw8932894 wrote: post #259
astan wrote: post #67

Your whole blog resonates deeply with me. All this corporate grifting and women's empowerment months will do jack shit until we figure out how to make workplaces and lives more equitable for mothers and allowing for gaps, breaks and destigmatizing time off for parents of both genders. Instead, we talk about how sexism is the biggest problem. Sure, sexism might be annoying, but in the west, it is hardly something that…

> When I mention it to someone that I want to take time off for a couple years > actual equality where we acknowledge that women have different needs and desires I find your view sexist and disturbing. 99% men would love to take couple of years off with kids as well. But face even more obstacles!

Try this: s/women/people/g

If taking a break to focus on parenting was more acceptable, anyone (man/woman/nonbinary) who wanted to do this would benefit.

Many careers are built around this idea that you spend 5-10 years, with no breaks, in your late 20s and 30s working on something. What if taking a substantial chunk of time off was more common (for anyone)?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#303

Post by neonate »

throw8932894 wrote: post #219

> Startups take much longer than you’d think before they become successful. 90% of startups fail, they NEVER become successful. Gambling on some theoretical future success is just bad advice. Also egg freezing and late age pregnancy is VERY expensive and complicated. Author herself had three miscarriages. I would suggest something else: have children between 18-25, and start self funded company while working at home.…

The author is a female founder writing for female founders. People can choose to be founders if they want to. The issue is, what next? That's what the article is about.

Your comment reminds me of those annoying answers on Stack Overflow that say: why are you trying to do that? you shouldn't do that! you should do what I think you should do instead!

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#304

Post by Rompect »

Aaargh20318 wrote: post #195
smoldesu wrote: post #14

And people wonder why the birth rate is continuing to decline. Our nation-wide workaholism is making family life an increasingly distant fantasy. I've had this discussion with my S/O before, and we've always come to the same conclusion: it would be irresponsible for us to adopt while both of us are working. That's a difficult place to be in, considering we're both quite passionate about our jobs. It makes me quite de…

> And people wonder why the birth rate is continuing to decline We’re at 7.8 billion humans on this planet and rising. I don’t think we have to worry about the birth rate declining. If anything, we should do everything in our power to lower it as much as we can.

Then why are we continually sending aid to Africa which just powers their insane child boom?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#305

Post by tobib »

Ma8ee wrote: post #83
tobib wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> pumping works out great for everyone You might want to ask a few (other) women about that. My partner very much dislikes pumping. Both the physical aspect as well as the emotional/psychological side of it. But I get what you're saying and I agree with the sentiment.

Also important to remember is that breast milk isn’t essential. There are of course many studies that show that breast milk is great in so many ways, but on the other hand, a lot of perfectly healthy adults were fed formula, so maybe it’s nothing anyone should give up their career for.

Maybe I just didn't find the studies but I wish we knew more about the benefits of breastmilk and the act of breastfeeding (e.g. social, hormonal) and the benefits/downsides of formula.

I have this subjective feeling about one clearly being better than the other in so many ways but it's nothing rooted in facts. All the information I can find on the internet don't seem trustworthy mainly because it's so difficult to control for the socio-economic realities around who breastfeeds and who feeds formula. Plus I suppose it's difficult to do a blind trial at least when it comes to breastfeeding vs bottle feeding.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#306

Post by cc_cccc »

jluxenberg wrote: post #302
throw8932894 wrote: post #259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> When I mention it to someone that I want to take time off for a couple years > actual equality where we acknowledge that women have different needs and desires I find your view sexist and disturbing. 99% men would love to take couple of years off with kids as well. But face even more obstacles!

Try this: s/women/people/g If taking a break to focus on parenting was more acceptable, anyone (man/woman/nonbinary) who wanted to do this would benefit. Many careers are built around this idea that you spend 5-10 years, with no breaks, in your late 20s and 30s working on something. What if taking a substantial chunk of time off was more common (for anyone)?

> Try this: s/women/people/g

Wow I don't even know what to say haha.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#307

Post by onetimeusename »

astan wrote: post #67

Your whole blog resonates deeply with me. All this corporate grifting and women's empowerment months will do jack shit until we figure out how to make workplaces and lives more equitable for mothers and allowing for gaps, breaks and destigmatizing time off for parents of both genders. Instead, we talk about how sexism is the biggest problem. Sure, sexism might be annoying, but in the west, it is hardly something that…

> "equitable to mothers"

> "actual equality where we acknowledge that women have different needs and desires".

I can't see any other meaning besides equality of outcomes split across employees by fertility lines regardless of inputs. I think this is unfair. What do you tell someone who did not take X amount of time off when their outcome is equated with someone who did?

Increasing paternity leave for all people doesn't help compensate those who do not have children or don't have this issue. Likewise for subsidizing fertility treatments.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#309

Post by verisimilidude »

david-gpu wrote: post #194
ZephyrBlu wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have learned that making relative comparisons is useless if you are not at the average. If you are more capable than the average person, sure you can settle for an around average outcome, but that is very unsatisfying. The way I perceive things is that I'm going to do something, I'll do it really well or not at all.

Holding ourselves to impossibly high standards leads to dissatisfaction. Accepting that we will sometimes be mediocre at what we do and knowing that we will do better over time is a healthier alternative.

This is especially true when it comes to raising kids. Children have their own personalities. Some will be introverts and others will be party animals. Some will be quiet and others will make trouble. If a person goes into the job of parenthood with perfect preparation and explicit expectations, then failure is guaranteed.

The best approach requires some level of improvisation; we learn each child’s tendencies, accept them for who they are, and try to mold them into the best versions of themselves. I don’t see a way to prepare for this.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#310

Post by Kye »

_ezkx wrote: post #243
dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

> presented a false promise by progressives I think this is a poor framing for the rest of your comment, which is essentially a feminist critique of patriarchy and capitalism, and how patriarchy/capitalism is a harmful structure to men as well. Progressives are totally on board with this.

I was on the train to goofball-ville a long, long time ago because I thought the goofballs were the only ones making these critiques of binarist advocacy focused on one part of the problem. Fortunately I found that feminists made them earlier and better than any MRA type person could ever hope to. Give me any number of Judith Butlers or bell hookses over the sharpest "intellectual dark web" genius.
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