My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone • Hacker News Board

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#301

Post by [deleted] » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:12 PM UTC

disown wrote: post #277

lqet wrote: post #239

> I realize with horror that she’s spent nine hours on the phone that day. She was only awake at 11. > My daughter doesn’t make collages or jewelry or sew anymore. A child who used to read in the bath won’t pick up a book unless threatened with the loss of her phone. > Getting her to make a card for a family member — something she once did for fun — is like getting her to clean her room > Yet still, each day is a bat…

Did no one besides you read the article? FTA: "My husband and I said she could have a phone when she turned 14..." People are arguing about everything from extended school hours, excessive homework to climate change in this thread. Could it be that the daughter was raised in a highly sheltered environment and once she hit puberty, she had other interests besides collages, jewelry and sewing? I wrote this in another c…

[deleted]

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#302

Post by optimalsolver » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:13 PM UTC

Can't remember the last HN headline that made me literally lol.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#303

Post by definetheword » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:14 PM UTC

ertian wrote: post #293

adrianb wrote: post #280

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Honestly, so much of this sounded familiar to me ... but from my own teenage years. My parents were appalled at the amount of time I was spending at a MS-DOS PC (not only playing games but also learning programming). So I'd say that no, it's not that phones are like crack. There seems to be a disconnect on the parent's expectations when children discover the possibilities of a technology that's unfamiliar to them. In…

Yup. There was a moral panic about fiction specifically in the early-to-mid 1800s. Kids (and women, too) were sitting around staring at these made-up stories instead of going out and doing real things.

Passingly comparable but a completely different scale

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#304

Post by ohgreatwtf » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:19 PM UTC

this is dumb. everyone arguing about this is dumb. the parent is also dumb. The reality is that there is an economics of utility algorithm programmed into everyone and we innately seek out whatever makes us fit in with others and whatever entertains us with the least effort. It is a projection for the parent to assume their child has creative potential or a great creative enthusiasm when they, devoid of other ways to gratify their desire for novelty and expression, use the materials at their disposal. Now that her daughter has been given a device that satiates, at least for the moment, her desire to be popular, cool, and in-group, as well as provide her exponentially greater conduits for gratification and effortless creation-interaction, she is just like the rest of us.

If this parent is frustrated at all they should, instead of being conceited about vicarious passions, be mournful their child has fallen prey to consumerist joys and will likely never develop a true adult passion for enriching experiences and pastimes. If my child asked me for something everyone has i would get her the things everyone DOESNT because when she is older she will appreciate the novelty of her personal childhood more than she will remember being just like everyone else. I would get my child a basic feature phone like a light phone or a flipphone, and i would get them an e-ink tablet and, yes, a customized device for watching television and youtube, possibly an android tablet heavily locked down. I would prohibit the use of apps like tiktok, snapchat, and instagram, all of which any in-touch millennial knows are the key platforms driving this soulless era of contact appreciation and gameified approval from others that really makes generation z teenagers look like a bunch of zombies, far more than we or our parents did at the same age.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#305

Post by nashashmi » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:19 PM UTC

adaml_623 wrote: post #122

nashashmi wrote: post #9

Legos also harm creativity. Perfection also harms creativity. In fact there was a economic theorist who claimed that by introducing limitations in a system you also introduce entrepreneurship and innovation.

I would love it if you clarifies your point or found a name for the economic theorist. I will admit that a lego kit with instructions is very different to a collection of lego parts and I would encourage every parent to buy buckets of assorted bits rather than kits that might end up staying on a shelf once assembled

The gift of doubt article

Albert O. Hirschman

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#306

Post by gallamine » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:20 PM UTC

ttul wrote: post #248

sequoia wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We have some neighbors who are not too well off that homeschool their kids This is exactly the type of situation ttul seems unaware of. The "only rich white people homeschool" trope is a myth from people who are unfamiliar with the much more complex reality of the situation.

I am sorry. But if you are rich enough to have one parent stay home and school your kids, you are rich by any reasonable measure.

Does being at-or-below the median family income for your location make you "rich by any reasonable measure?"

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#307

Post by fiblye » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:20 PM UTC

ur-whale wrote: post #295

adrianb wrote: post #280

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Honestly, so much of this sounded familiar to me ... but from my own teenage years. My parents were appalled at the amount of time I was spending at a MS-DOS PC (not only playing games but also learning programming). So I'd say that no, it's not that phones are like crack. There seems to be a disconnect on the parent's expectations when children discover the possibilities of a technology that's unfamiliar to them. In…

Now is really not like back then. I was like you, spending inordinate amounts of time with computers during my teenage years. But back then, I was learning useful skills from it. The computer I owned had almost no games for it. All you could do was program it in either basic or assembly. Move forward 15 years, my kid who owned a PC from around age 10 was never interested in using it as anything but an entertainment p…

Seems like your kid just isn’t interested in the same things you are. If the flashy entertainment were stripped away, they probably would’ve never cared about it.

And that’s okay.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#308

Post by jelliclesfarm » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:20 PM UTC

johnfn wrote: post #275

I started reading this article really really wanting to agree, but ended up thinking that a large part of the problem here is that the parent is not making enough effort to understand her child. The parent says "my daughter was a creative genius, and then..." as if to imply that she isn't any more. But it sure sounds like she has creative pursuits to me: * "She wants Roblox. All the kids have it, and it seems harmles…

is it just me or did the article come across as humble brag?

her other articles: https://stephaniegrunerbuckley.medium.com/

writes for Modern Parent:

https://medium.com/modern-parent/i-used-to-be-cool-now-i-emb...

https://medium.com/modern-parent/my-kid-is-an-asshole-how-do...

she is just using her family as muse for writing fodder. pay no mind.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#309

Post by wing-_-nuts » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:21 PM UTC

fbnt wrote: post #298

JoeAltmaier wrote: post #281

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That might be true, if electronic gadgets were the same as previous obsessions. But they're different. They change from second to second, providing a level of stimulation unprecedented in human experience. It's possible we're not going to adapt well to this e-world. There's no reason to think an evolved ape has the wiring to make the transition without trauma. Imagine if the iPhone were heroin. Would we be so casual…

I think the step from books->TV was much more dramatic that TV->SocialMedia. the delta of stimulation is much greater in the former, imho. In any case, 1hr of iPhone/day is way too strict for a teenager nowadays. I was lucky to be the 3rd child, and my parents didn’t really paid attention to how I was spending my time. I overdosed on a bunch of things as a kid: TV, videogames, my computer, the internet when I got it…

>On the other hand, people my age that were only allowed one hour of Nintendo per day as kids, are still craving the next PlayStation like grown up junkies. Last time I played a videogame I was maybe.. 22.

This is awfully close to gatekeeping. All hobbies are fine in moderation. One is not inherently 'better' than any other.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#310

Post by georgeecollins » Wed, Nov 18, 2020, 10:21 PM UTC

ur-whale wrote: post #295

adrianb wrote: post #280

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Honestly, so much of this sounded familiar to me ... but from my own teenage years. My parents were appalled at the amount of time I was spending at a MS-DOS PC (not only playing games but also learning programming). So I'd say that no, it's not that phones are like crack. There seems to be a disconnect on the parent's expectations when children discover the possibilities of a technology that's unfamiliar to them. In…

Now is really not like back then. I was like you, spending inordinate amounts of time with computers during my teenage years. But back then, I was learning useful skills from it. The computer I owned had almost no games for it. All you could do was program it in either basic or assembly. Move forward 15 years, my kid who owned a PC from around age 10 was never interested in using it as anything but an entertainment p…

This resonates with me because when I was a kid I really enjoyed video games and I would program them into my cheap, rudimentary computer. I even sold some games I made on cassette tapes. My parents were really distressed that I was wasting my time. But-- surprise-- I had/ have a long and successful career making video games.

Now I am a parent and I tend to let my kids play a lot of game on their computer. But it is different. In the old days computers weren't really that entertaining except if you programmed them. Now they have a lot of passive entertainment value. It's a lot more like watching television or talking on the phone then the engaging hobby I had as a child. I tell them it is important to create media as well as consume media.