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Career advice for people with bad luck

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Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#301

Post by akurzon »

wwweston wrote: post #293
chosenbreed37 wrote: post #203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Read some philosophy. Buy a reliable used car. Look inward for contentment. Try therapy if your shitty childhood and shitty parents made inward a hard place to look. I'd recommend the following: 1. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius 2. 12 Rules for Life - Jordan B Peterson 3. Letters from a self made merchant - John Graham

> 2. 12 Rules for Life - Jordan B Peterson A note on this, since mentioning Peterson tends to spark controversy: I think I think the people who get the best out of Peterson don't treat him as a guru issuing rules written in stone tablets (in spite of the implication of the book title) but as a provoker of attention/reflection. This is probably generally true of anyone, but especially worth considering here. I also te…

> I also tend to recommend his university course lectures over his public-directed material; I'm not sure why it seems more moderated, but I'd guess that professional accountability and contextual habits developed before fame have something to do with it.

I've noticed the same thing. I think he's gotten into bad habits commenting on subjects outside of his area of expertise, but I did enjoy his YouTube lectures for the reasons you mentioned

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#302

Post by ubu7737 »

throw4failure wrote: post #29

This seems like a good thread in which to try to solicit some advice, since it's at least tangentially related. I was terminated from my last job. In my opinion it was due to my chronic and major depression that I have since been seeking extensive treatment (medication, several months rent in therapy) for. I say "in my opinion" because I really can't rule out that I'm just a lazy, crappy developer who is trying to us…

My mood disorder has made my whole career a rocky journey. I'm 43 now, and doing well in my current role.

Managing your depression will always be part of the trip. Don't listen to the voice(s) that say you are a failure/loser/underperformer, just do your best. Say it to yourself whenever you need to: "I'm doing my best, and that's how it will always be."

Strangely, when I know that I'm doing my best despite everything, I feel calm.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#303

Post by whycombagator »

mettamage wrote: post #15

Finally, a post that isn't all hunky dory. I'm at the bottom quartile at the moment, so I'm happy to take any reasonable advice that doesn't sound like: study algorithms and get into Google. Ok, I studied algorithms, got rejected at the paper round. Now what? The tough part isn't passing the interview, it's getting a chance in the first place. This advice is better. Some points that really stood out to me and that I'…

> Ok, I studied algorithms, got rejected at the paper round. Now what?

If you actually studied then play the odds? I.e apply to the dozens of other large tech companies that pay handsomely. Unless there's only Google in the Netherlands (assuming that's where you are based on the Dutch reference) or you already applied to dozens and got rejected at the paper round by all of them

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#304

Post by starpilot »

mdorazio wrote: post #67

I really want to see more articles like this on HN. However, this is really "career advice for people at struggling companies." The luck part doesn't get discussed in the way I expected. To me, bad luck is things like: - You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ex. you graduated in 2008-2010/now or your business sector got wiped out by COVID - Despite your best efforts at networking, you simply never meet that ma…

There was an article about "luck" a few years ago and how researchers really found "luck" was somewhat in our control. Graduating in a recession isn't, but being "blindsided" is - luck had a strong component of being attentive and aware to the world around them. This derived from a calm wellbeing. I used to know someone who always lamented her "bad luck." Stuff like car accidents, or getting physically injured. She was also the most profoundly depressed and anxious person I had ever met, like within minutes you could tell she was disturbed. You could tell her bad "luck" was her mode of being constant distracted, but there wasn't really any advice you could give other than "work on your mental state," which she already knew.

Her original bad luck over which she had no control was an unhappy upbringing, which is truly unfortunate, but that's not the last word on life.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#305

Post by hattori »

hmart wrote: post #284

I live in a 3rd world country, worked the last 20 years as systems administrator. Recently lost my job and while looking for a new remote job I have been touched by the hard reality: The world changed and I was full of self leniency, years using the same bash scripts, the same tricks day to day. Did lot of things maintenance, networking, security,databases, mail servers, anti spam. I consider myself capable of put a…

It seems you nailed exactly what is the problem and what needs to be done or learned. You have more or less ideal background to jump into these tools, it's just matter of spending some time and considering your experience it will take less than for most of people. You'll be ok.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#306

Post by throwaway5752 »

efficax wrote: post #100

The point made in here about how your company is not your family cannot be emphasized enough. Corporate culture, and especially tech startup culture, likes to make you believe that we're all family and best friends and love each other. That attitude stays up right until the day they lay you off without warning. It's great to work with great people that you enjoy being around, and we should treat each other all with h…

Your boss can absolutely be your friend. You should be a good friend back and recognize you have two relationships, and if they are a good person with integrity they won't make professional actions on the basis of personal relationships.

That's just basic professionalism. I've been friendly with many of my bosses during and after the term of employment I've worked for them. I would never, ever have expected any favoritism on then basis of that friendship from them, including laying me off if necessary and distributing raises and promotions purely based on merit with no regards to our friendship. Any expectations otherwise, to me, would mean I was being the bad friend.

I'd have the exact same expectations of family if I worked for them.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#307

Post by ska »

chosenbreed37 wrote: post #203
LarryDarrell wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect it's because there isn't much advice to give. My answer, having checked a few of your boxes... Your lifetime wages are going to be lower than many of your peers. This is unlikely to change. Adjust your worldview accordingly. Don't assume any debt that relies on increasing future earnings to be comfortable. By all means, keep trying, but stay level headed. Success for most is not always right around the corn…

> Read some philosophy. Buy a reliable used car. Look inward for contentment. Try therapy if your shitty childhood and shitty parents made inward a hard place to look. I'd recommend the following: 1. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius 2. 12 Rules for Life - Jordan B Peterson 3. Letters from a self made merchant - John Graham

Without opinion on the particular value of this list, I'll advise that if you are exploring philosophy (even of the pop kind), especially if this is new for you, you'll probably get the best results out of reading contradicting and contrasting results.

Be it foundational or just currently popular, following up a work by reading it's most talented detractors can multiply it's value to you. Learning about an entirely different philosophical approach will often be more useful to you than reading another book on similar ideas.

Oh, and really good popularizors are rare. Usually the original sources are far better - but by nature much less accessible. So you have a trade off to make.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#308

Post by ubu7737 »

efficax wrote: post #100

The point made in here about how your company is not your family cannot be emphasized enough. Corporate culture, and especially tech startup culture, likes to make you believe that we're all family and best friends and love each other. That attitude stays up right until the day they lay you off without warning. It's great to work with great people that you enjoy being around, and we should treat each other all with h…

A beloved co-worker and the best engineer on my team suddenly had to leave 2 months ago because his H1B renewal was denied. He asked the company HR for help and they sent him home immediately. Tears in his eyes he left us on a Thursday, and we didn't know what to say or how to feel.

This is just how it goes. No matter how much we wanted him to stay, there was nothing to be done about it at our level.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#309

Post by non-entity »

LarryDarrell wrote: post #198
mdorazio wrote: post #67

I really want to see more articles like this on HN. However, this is really "career advice for people at struggling companies." The luck part doesn't get discussed in the way I expected. To me, bad luck is things like: - You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ex. you graduated in 2008-2010/now or your business sector got wiped out by COVID - Despite your best efforts at networking, you simply never meet that ma…

I suspect it's because there isn't much advice to give. My answer, having checked a few of your boxes... Your lifetime wages are going to be lower than many of your peers. This is unlikely to change. Adjust your worldview accordingly. Don't assume any debt that relies on increasing future earnings to be comfortable. By all means, keep trying, but stay level headed. Success for most is not always right around the corn…

> There are a lot of self-conscious IT people in the midwest making $70k/year feeling like failures, when they are the winners of Kokomo, IN.

Heh. Unrelated but I've been re-watching a lot of KOTH during quarantine and this line reminded me of a scene from the first season

https://youtu.be/bQfyCg0i8sU?t=1m0s

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#310

Post by spotsandstripes »

throw4failure wrote: post #29

This seems like a good thread in which to try to solicit some advice, since it's at least tangentially related. I was terminated from my last job. In my opinion it was due to my chronic and major depression that I have since been seeking extensive treatment (medication, several months rent in therapy) for. I say "in my opinion" because I really can't rule out that I'm just a lazy, crappy developer who is trying to us…

I was in a really similar situation a couple years ago. I was having mental health problems two years into my first job out of college. Around the same time my manager quit and a new manager started, and the new manager only knew me while I was struggling so we didn't have a great relationship. He told me to take a leave of absence, and before the three months were up he sent me an email saying that my job had been terminated due to my company's abandonment policy.

I had a looong gap on my resume when I finally felt well enough to start interviewing again. I tried the honest approach and mentioned that I left for medical reasons, and I never made it past the initial phone call with a recruiter. I finally lied and came up with a believable cover story (that I left to work on some startup ideas and did some freelance work) and then I was able to get a job. Keep your lies small, and obviously don't claim you were an employee somewhere that you weren't.

I was paranoid, so when the company I was interviewing with told me they were going to do the background check, I went ahead and called my old companies HR to see what they would say to the new company. All they had listed was my start and end date, not the reason I was terminated or anything. My new company outsourced the background check to a different company, where I had to fill out a form listing everywhere I was employed. I only lied on my resume and I didn't lie on the portion where I had to fill out forms for the job application and the background check. I was never caught in this lie and my new team is happy with my work.

It sucks that we have to do this, but when interviewing companies will take literally anything as a reason to reject you, even if you can do well on the technical portion of the interview.

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