While some of your (quite sanctimonious) comment is spot on and hits on a legitimate attitude problem, I do want to point out that the “women go for only the top 20% of men” figure has some data supporting it,
- https://web.archive.org/web/20170330131859/https://theblog.o...
If you imagine the way males assign attractiveness to females and vice versa like economic gini distribution graphs, the way attractiveness is distributed from women to men (among that cohort of OKCupid users) is extremely unequal, outside of any semblance of an equitable distribution, and significantly different from how men distribute attractiveness to women.
It is alarming and disturbing for men and women that online dating cultivates such an unrealistic standard of attractivess defined by women.
I don’t put as much stock into aspects of this around messaging, because women have to deal with incredible amounts of spam and abusive messaging and really any signal they might use (like skewed attractiveness ratings) to cut down message volume is something I can sympathize with.
But it doesn’t matter your political leanings, opinions of gender discourse, etc. You say,
> “Stop blaming women -- they pursue the most attractive males just like you pursue the most attractive women, it's normal.”
but I’m sorry, you’re just putting your head in the sand about real data that has an inconvenient matter of fact which disputes at least some popular types of progressive narratives about this.
(And also, nobody is “blaming” women about it — interesting how you got there. You can’t fault women for pursuing self-interest and setting it up as a winner take all game among men, given that the fraudulent activity of the app companies allows women this opportunity by keeping men of all parts of the attractiveness distribution around through false hope of fraud messaging.
If men got clear signals from using the apps, then men in the bottom 80% of attractiveness distribution would leave, women would stop getting the same message volume, and then women would experience the reverse supply & demand problem, gradually realizing that unless they also are in the top attractiveness quantiles, there is no supply for them among just 20% of men, and then things could possibly equilibrate to a realistic supply & demand situation with both men and women from all quantiles of attractiveness ... but this all hinges on the app companies not being able to monetize on the forsaken bottom 80% of men via carrot and stick fraud tactics).