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Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

economist.com

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Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#301

Post by baldfat »

andreliem wrote: post #255
baldfat wrote: post #7

The problem is that 90% of the time the parents are now on their phones. Seriously I find myself on my phone and not interacting with my kids at times and I am super sensitive about phones. I don't allow phones during meals, during family time and not when someone is talking with you. I break my own rules a ton :(

That's definitely the modern day problem! Can't believe how often you go to playgrounds and a parent is on their phone the entire time. It makes me self conscious every time I need to use my phone for something important, as I don't want to be that parent although I have been in the past. I removed the Facebook app from my phone and that's helped, among removing push notifications, putting it on silent etc... phone a…

My city was 95% of the parents just on phones till this year. Now the vast majority of us parents are actually playing with our kids. Serious kids are the best thing I have ever had in my life and they are a blast. Sometimes they really know how to humble you but it is so worth it. (Dad of 5)

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#302

Post by selimthegrim »

tome wrote: post #283
chrisseaton wrote: post #279

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do people write ‘baby’ or ‘newborn’ with no article like that? Surely it’s ‘a baby’ or ‘the baby’ or ‘your baby’ or maybe ‘babies’ if you mean in general. Just ‘baby’ sounds like broken English. You wouldn’t write ‘manager sent me an email’, you’d write ‘my manager’ or something like that with an article.

> sounds like broken English There are many languages (notably Slavic ones) that don't have articles. My guess is that the comment author is a native speaker of one of those languages and not English.

Indian languages also lack articles - my mother immigrated to USA over 30 years ago and I still have to add in articles sometimes when I proofread something she writes.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#303

Post by nickhalfasleep »

bargl wrote: post #238
cknoxrun wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've mentioned this before on here, but for me tossing the smart phone and getting a flip phone has utterly changed the dynamic with my children. It has been 3 months, and I am still amazed (although I guess I shouldn't be) that being actually present with them when we interact has seemed to reduce their neediness/anxiety and improved our relationship/bond. If you can, I recommend giving it a try.

I think I need to give this a try. I may have to put my phone in a "dead zone" box or something when I get home so that I can be off and present with them. I like the idea of turning on a ringtone so I can be reached but also not always surfing youtube/facebook/hacker news/etc. I don't know why but getting my computer out to do something seems a lot more effort and I'm less likely to do it. I'm going to try this out…

Another thing to try is put the phone on a shelf with car keys when you get home, and only pick it up after the kids are in bed. The feeling of "phantom phone" and the desire to check it are real. I totally empathise with you.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#304

Post by jhbadger »

SamBam wrote: post #126
roflchoppa wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Two of my buddies had kids when they were 19-20, when I see one of them his daughter is basically watching youtube videos all the time sitting on the couch. The other guy does not really let his kids around phones or tablets, they can watch TV, but thats also heavily regulated. But usually when we are around, they hang out with us and work on cars. Its really fun to teach them stuff about cars even if they are only 5…

Not sure which ones, but my friend's five-year-old girl spends her time watching videos of and older girl showing off her Brand-Name Doll, and all the accessories you can buy for it, and how isn't it just so cute when I put her in THIS accessory , and tune in tomorrow for more accessories you can buy... That definitely makes me sick.

True, but in the 1970s when I was a kid, I watched a lot of Saturday Morning cartoons which had a lot of toy ads, and my father's comic books had toy ads too. Selling crap to children too young to understand advertising has a long history.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#305

Post by EADGBE »

robertwiblin wrote: post #64

"One of Galinsky's more surprising findings centered around a question she posed to both children and parents: "If you were granted one wish to change the way your mother's/your father's work affects your life, what would that wish be?" Some 56 percent of parents anticipated that their children would want more time with their parents and for their parents to spend less time at work, yet only 10 percent of the childre…

I wonder if the age ranges were well-represented.

What I thought when I was 5 about my parents and what I thought when I was 13 were two totally different things.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#308

Post by nsxwolf »

ordu wrote: post #187
kelukelugames wrote: post #5

> One analysis of 11 rich countries estimates that the average mother spent 54 minutes a day caring for children in 1965 but 104 minutes in 2012. Men do less than women, but far more than men in the past: their child-caring time has jumped from 16 minutes a day to 59. I spend 100+ minutes every day changing diapers. Actually that's not true, most of my time is spent trying to put the stupid newborn to go to sleep. I…

I learnt from psychologist that there are ways to help newborn to get asleep. Newborn is in a very uncomfortable conditions for him. He used to be in a liquid environment. It was very noisy environment: there was a lot of sounds made by mothers body, digesting and more importantly heartbeat. It was dark there. But now he is on the air, he need to breathe, he hears silence with interruptions by some sharp sounds (in t…

There's also the whole "Back To Sleep" anti-SIDS campaign, which is just murder on their sleep. Our kids just totally refused to cooperate so we gave up and let them sleep on their stomachs.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#309

Post by amyjess »

rconti wrote: post #197
callmeed wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My bad. At least where I live (California central coast), all public school Kindergartens are half-day. The only full-day options are private school.

When I was a kid, in the 80s, our public schools were half-day kindergarten as well (Washington).

Same for me, in North Texas. Born in the '80s, went to kindergarten in 1990-91.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#310

Post by mod »

cortesoft wrote: post #128
mod wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A bit off-topic: I've been in 12 car accidents, I think. 2 while I was driving a car, neither my fault. One while I was driving a motorcycle, also not my fault. Most were before I was old enough to be driving. 5 of the vehicles were totaled, including the motorcycle. Anyway I find it strange that some people have never been in one. I'm not sure I know anyone who hasn't.

That is crazy. When you say they were 'not your fault', how not your fault were they? Sometimes things aren't your fault, but you could also drive more defensively and expect other people to mess up. Sometimes things are not your fault and there is nothing you could do, like when you are stopped at a stoplight.

In the three accidents where I was driving:

A ford explorer in front of me on a 2-lane road going about 45mph turned into an apartment complex, then used their drive to do a big sweeping U turn back across my lane, and through a stop sign (for the driveway people turning onto the main road). I was 17 years old but I don't fault myself for not driving more defensively. The guy just turned into the apartments, when he swooped back out I swerved but it was all very quick. That's not something you're prepared to defend for until you've seen it happen, frankly.

The next one was very minor, but we had two left-hand turn lanes and we were approaching a traffic light. I was in the right-hand lane, with no cars directly in front of me. I had a red car to my left, and a black car in front of him. The light turned yellow, and the black car was going to stop. The red car swerved quickly into my lane to go around the black car, and he clipped the front of my car. It knocked off a light cover, but otherwise no real damage. He ran the light and did not stop. There was no time to react, he literally yanked his wheel over, and I could not swerve right anyway, as there were vehicles there.

On the motorcycle, I was driving on a two-lane road behind a large vehicle, I think it was an SUV. Someone was waiting to turn left in the opposite lane (so they wanted to turn across our lane). There were many cars behind me as well. The person didn't see me and turned after the SUV passed. They stopped halfway through the turn, by which time I had already put down the bike while slamming on the brakes. The bike hit the car and totaled, and I slid down my lane with virtually no injuries. I was fairly well equipped so I just had a couple of very minor scrapes. She had no insurance. This accident was most avoidable in theory. Perhaps I could have positioned myself better, and she might have seen me. But probably not. I could not have swerved around her, though, unless I anticipated her stopping halfway. If she didn't stop halfway, and I swerved right, I would have gone through her passenger window. If I swerved left, it was a head-on collision.

During all of the other accidents, I was not the driver.

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