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Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

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Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#31

Post by soham »

Best way, is to actually put yourself in a situation where you have to live the skills you're trying to get better at. i.e. I'd suggest you work a short (part-time) side stint in Sales or Customer support or Recruiting, especially under a seasoned manager and sincerely carry a quota. The pressure of actually closing that deal will improve you at a rate nothing else will.

Books and everything else will definitely help, but I'd treat them as supplemental resources. You don't get good at soccer by reading about it. You got to play it. You don't get good at coding by reading about coding; you have to actually write code.

Not saying you meant that you only want to read in order to get better and nothing else, but just trying to draw attention that getting better at soft skills is also about actual practice, like anything else.

[Me: http://InterviewKickstart.com. We practice for tech interviews, and we get better at those too]

Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#34

Post by firepoet »

I have many many recommendations. Here are a few of what I've experienced and practiced:

https://www.neuroleadership.com/education/bbc/brain-based-co... Training -- Brain-Based Conversation Skills

http://www.quietleadership.com/index Book -- Quiet Leadership

http://www.centerforappreciativeinquiry.net/ Training -- Appreciative Inquiry

http://www.amazon.com/Appreciative-Inquiry-Positive-Revoluti... Book -- Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Revolution in Change

http://aliainstitute.org/ Authentic Leadership in Action Institute (Buddhist foundation)

http://shambhala.org/ The path of meditation focused on creating "enlightened society." Starts with where most of the issue is: your own mind.

Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#35

Post by hluska »

wwkeyboard wrote: post #13

You might try Toastmasters. Once you get past the first few "nervousness" lessons they focus on how to convey meaning with speech. Every chapter is different, so YMMV. Several of the speeches you have to prepare cover persuasion, motivation, and how to structure a speech so that everyone remembers exactly what you want them to remember. They teach through having you give a series of 5-7 minute speeches, but I've foun…

I second Toastmasters. They took me from a shy undergraduate who had panic attacks the night before speaking in front of a class and turned me into someone who genuinely loves public speaking and hasn't used notes to speak in over a decade!!

There are two caveats to Toastmasters:

- each chapter is different. I have now belonged to three and loved two. The third chapter was my personal hell of realtors and financial managers who were trolling for clients. My self promotion allergy was way too active...

- you get exactly what you put into TM. I know a guy who started in the same chapter at the same time as me. I spoke every chance that I could get and improved quickly. He was never willing to truly embarrass himself, rarely spoke and got next to nothing out of the organization.

Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#36

Post by javcasas »

jxm262 wrote: post #30
colinbartlett wrote: post #26

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie should be required reading for anyone who interacts with human beings.

This book has been mentioned to me at least a dozen times. For some reason, your comment is the one that just pushed me over the edge to buy it :) I'm posting this just because it's been recommended so often to me there must be something to it.

Yeah, the book is impressive. It will teach you how to become likeable by most people, and that is something you definitely need if you want to become a manager or any kind of leader, or just if you have to deal with people on your job, even if it's just your boss and coworkers.

Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#37

Post by shash7 »

jxm262 wrote: post #30
colinbartlett wrote: post #26

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie should be required reading for anyone who interacts with human beings.

This book has been mentioned to me at least a dozen times. For some reason, your comment is the one that just pushed me over the edge to buy it :) I'm posting this just because it's been recommended so often to me there must be something to it.

Its a really nice book. In fact, I am gonna read it again after seeing your comment!

Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#38

Post by thirdtruck »

selleck wrote: post #25

I just finished The Charisma Myth: http://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-Magneti... On audio book and immediately bought a physical copy. The book is filled with tips and tricks to increase your charisma that can be applied right away.

Seconding. I found it an invaluable read, as well. It dispels quite a few invisible myths.

Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#39

Post by JacobAldridge »

analog31 wrote: post #29
JacobAldridge wrote: post #4

Always a risk to self-promote, but last month our team launched our Compass Platform - Behavioral Indicators and associated support to help business founders and leadership teams in private enterprise [1]. I've found these are more balanced, so work better than tools like DISC and Myers-Briggs, which tend to 'put people into a box' and therefore work against creating an inclusive environment. The four soft skills the…

...having an understanding of a potential client or recruit's Risk profile, for example, makes it so much easier to connect with them and explain a value proposition... Maybe I'm not getting this, but I can't think of a reason why I'd supply someone with information to help them deliver a sales pitch or to negotiate with me.

Good point. I'm a business coach/consultant, so my clients provide this information because it also helps enormously with understanding why they are doing what they do as business leaders. It's slightly deeper than providing your email address (hello sales emails) for an ebook (which is worth it).

To the OP's point, however, being aware of these skills and your own preferences makes it easier to assess others you meet. If you know the Risk Profile for you and your team, you may be able to judge in a negotiation that the other party chases returns but abhors volatility and adjust your approach accordingly.

Re: Ask HN: What are your best “soft skill” resources?

#40

Post by at-fates-hands »

soham wrote: post #31

Best way, is to actually put yourself in a situation where you have to live the skills you're trying to get better at. i.e. I'd suggest you work a short (part-time) side stint in Sales or Customer support or Recruiting, especially under a seasoned manager and sincerely carry a quota. The pressure of actually closing that deal will improve you at a rate nothing else will. Books and everything else will definitely help…

Came here to say the same thing. It's one thing to read a book, it's quite another to handle objections on the fly with an argumentative customer standing in front of you.

I had a buddy who was terrified to do presentations and was very socially awkward. He finally decided in order to overcome these issues, he started a side company and created a small app that he wanted to sell. He literally forced himself to cold call people in order to get more comfortable interacting with clients. Then he would try and set up meetings where he would have to present his idea to the clients.

It was a very elaborate way for him to overcome his fears and get comfortable being in front of people and selling people on his product. It wasn't easy, but the one thing he had going for him was determination to do it in order to learn some very valuable skills.

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