Taught this kind of stuff in India for a while for a company providing phone support. It's not just "thank you", it's also "please" and "sorry" - both are considered rude/inappropriate outside of certain settings. There's a huge difference in etiquette that is a cause of frustration on phone calls (particularly for support). Both sides are (usually) trying to be polite, but perceive the other side as being very rude. This is one of the main reasons (of about a half a dozen) that cause support calls to go sour.
“Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
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Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#32As an American, I've sometimes been bothered by the use of thank you. It is fine as a pleasantry at a restaurant. But it always felt odd coming from a boss or from the company CEO. I think to myself, "I didn't do this piece of work as a favor to you, I didn't because you are paying me and you told me to do it." It is interesting to read that this view is more common in other cultures. I also dislike putting "thank yo…
I had a manager who made a practice of thanking people when they did things he had asked them to. I hadn't seen it done that assiduously before, and I rather got to like it. I try to do the same now, when appropriate. I agree, though, that pre-thanking someone before they've done what you ask is presumptuous.
That pre-thank may be meant as "thank you for your attention to this matter" vs "thank you for doing the work".
Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#33I say thank you often, and every single time it's because I feel gratitude. This guy is doing it wrong. > After moving to America, it took me several years to say thanks to people without actually meaning it. Putting “thank you” on the tip of my tongue, ready to escape at a moment’s notice, rather than extracting it from the depths of my heart, was one of the hardest language lessons I had to learn in the United Stat…
You feel gratitude when you receive change from the shop clerk and say "thanks, bye"? I guess the word "gratitude" is routinely badly translated, too, in that case.
> You feel gratitude when you receive change from the shop clerk and say "thanks, bye"?
I know that many people are saying this robotically, but I personally feel genuinely grateful that the shop clerk has chosen to do this, and that they typically do a good job - providing me with a good level of service that greatly benefits me.
I recognise that it is not a fun job and that clerks often have to suffer poor conditions and that if I had to do that job, I would be mind-numbed with boredom.
So, I look the shop clerk in the eye and give my thanks fully and properly. It's obvious that it's appreciated and it's obvious that few other people are taking any time to genuinely thank shop clerks.
Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#34In Greece, saying "please" can sound condescending. You pretty much want to avoid saying please, and politeness comes from the phrasing. "Can you bring me a glass of water" is the polite version of "bring me a glass of water", although the latter is also usually made polite by adding "re" (to friends) or adding "a bit" ("bring me a glass of water for a bit", it doesn't translate well).
Saying "please" to anyone you're even slightly familiar with would be at least weird, and in many cases condescending and offputting.
"Thanks" is somewhere between the US and India, where you don't thank everyone all the time, but do thank people who've done you a favor, or in service settings, people who have been good to you (good servers/shopkeepers/etc).
Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#35I say thank you often, and every single time it's because I feel gratitude. This guy is doing it wrong. > After moving to America, it took me several years to say thanks to people without actually meaning it. Putting “thank you” on the tip of my tongue, ready to escape at a moment’s notice, rather than extracting it from the depths of my heart, was one of the hardest language lessons I had to learn in the United Stat…
You feel gratitude when you receive change from the shop clerk and say "thanks, bye"? I guess the word "gratitude" is routinely badly translated, too, in that case.
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Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#36This reminds of what David Graeber said about debt:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIINXhGDcs
He mentions that historically, cultures tried to keep people indebted to each other, and not settle the debt as is in fashion now. The reason was to keep people doing favors to each other.
Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#37There's a similar problem with my native language[1] and "sorry". The standard word, samaavenna literally means "forgive me". As a former British Colony (Sri Lanka) most of us have got used to the English words -- even non-English speakers will automatically say "sorry" or "thank you". But once "thank you" is said, most people awkwardly respond with "ah", because there's no phrase in the language for "you're welcome"…
> But once "thank you" is said, most people awkwardly respond with "ah", because there's no phrase in the language for "you're welcome".
This reminds me of my neighbour’s doormat (in Germany). As most doormats, it has a text on it - usually that’s something like "Willkommen" (Welcome) or somesuch. This particular doormat says "You’re welcome!", continuously irritating my English-native friend when walking past it.
Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#38Although not as extreme as in this example, the American custom of saying "thank you" and "please" all the time is considered excessive to the point of being insultingly trite by many cultures.
And I regularly hear Americans complain about people from other cultures being impolite because they don't say "thank you" or "please" all the time.
AFAIK in most cultures these kind of phrases are generally more formal and tend to signal a certain distance that in the wrong context can be interpreted as condescending.
Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#39Over here in Germany we even had an optional 'Cultural differences' workshop you could participate in, which discussed things - both for Germans and for people from the US, the presenter was from the US - that might seem awkward at first.
The ~social fillwords~ were on the list. Lots of thank you / you're welcome plus the really irritating 'How are you?' variations.
Wouldn't you find these differences between any culture though? Is Hindi/Indian vs. English/US especially surprising?
Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things
#40I say thank you often, and every single time it's because I feel gratitude. This guy is doing it wrong. > After moving to America, it took me several years to say thanks to people without actually meaning it. Putting “thank you” on the tip of my tongue, ready to escape at a moment’s notice, rather than extracting it from the depths of my heart, was one of the hardest language lessons I had to learn in the United Stat…
You feel gratitude when you receive change from the shop clerk and say "thanks, bye"? I guess the word "gratitude" is routinely badly translated, too, in that case.
Not OP but I feel gratitude towards them when they're able to do the math quickly, act like they have a purpose at work and smile or make eye contact at some point. Plenty of cashiers don't pass this bar and don't get a "thank you."
I appreciate a friendly and frictionless transaction /because/ it fails to happen so often.