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Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#31

Post by orthoganol »

Same age, used to have same mindset when I was right out of college.

I now believe, firmly, that being intensively competitive with everyone like that, constantly comparing yourself to others, will greatly increase your chances of failure. People who accomplish truly great things, technology, sports, politics, philosophy, whatever... get so invested in their vision that they pay zero attention to what others are doing except in a practical sense, and they definitely don't measure themselves by other's external standards.

I mean, if I were an investor or something, and I knew that all you really cared about was success for the sake of success, I would get out real quick.

You should do some introspecting, make some tough changes, and get rid of a stifling mindset like that.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#33

Post by onion2k »

At my core, I am intensely ambitious.

Are you sure about that? There seems to be a lot of evidence to the contrary. One of the most important lessons I've learned so far is that ambition is not wanting money and recognition; it's a desire for constant challenge, pressure and responsibility. A lot of people don't want those things, they just want the cash.

It's actually possible to find niches where you can earn good money rather than 'fuck you money', but without all the stress. That's a much better prospect in my (somewhat unambitious) opinion.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#34

Post by shubhamjain »

> But I can't help but feel that if I had started in earnest at 25, at 21, at 19 — then maybe the list of accomplishments at the end of my life will be longer.

Even if you did, there is no reason why you wouldn't have felt the same. I met someone of my age who had made an excellent game and was one of the winners of Github Game-Off. I felt envious, I struggled and finally made my own game with free art [1]. When I finished, did I feel any sense of accomplishment? Yes, sort of, but few days hence, I was in the same hole feeling shitty about my game being mediocre and having done nothing significant.

I have a reason to believe, that even many accomplished people, feel that they have missed so much, things could have been better and they could have achieved more.

[1]: http://coffeecoder.net/penguin-walk/

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#35

Post by rebelidealist »

bontoJR wrote: post #22

I am 28 and I am actually in a similar situation, but honesly in the last months, my mind started to chillout about getting old with the risk of stay behind. It doesn't really matter the age of a developer, but the most important thing is the curiosity about what he does. A developer without curiosity is a walking-dead-dev, you can be passionate (I don't like the word itself because means suffer in latin) and love yo…

This is so good. It highlights the importance of working on something bigger than myself.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#36

Post by 72deluxe »

adventured wrote: post #27

Too late because you're 26? More like too early. The way you deal with the gnawing in your chest is to correct your view of success with a healthy dose of reality. The 21 year old success is almost exclusively a lie, little more than a media fabrication; don't buy what they're selling. Here's a nice list, and the age at which they got their big hit: Paul Graham (31, Viaweb), Jan Koum (33, WhatsApp), Brian Acton (37,…

Very informative, thanks.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#37

Post by perdunov »

tastyface wrote: post #2

PS: I know the 30-year-olds in the audience will laugh at me for feeling "old", but I imagine that applies to every stage in life. When I was 21, I certainly didn't expect I'd suddenly encounter this overwhelming fear of getting older around my mid-twenties.

I started feeling old and "missing out" at about 18. I guess it is just a personality trait or a sign of depression.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#38

Post by 72deluxe »

As others have said, don't compare yourself. Just live.

Also, I would consider having enough savings to live without work for a few years to be pretty great! I am certain there are many of us who would welcome that (me included). Perhaps you should take time out to travel and see the world to put it into perspective instead of running the rat race?

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#40

Post by delvingFinn »

I fail to find the exact ancient Roman quote, but loosely: "The best racer does not seek to be the first". There is a hint of a cognitive strategy here: the person who wastes his/her cognitive resources on comparing oneself to others loses that bit from resources from his/her results. Your mind is not on the topic/goal but on other people. It is a waste of time and energy.

Sure it is useful every once in a while to check out what other people do so as not to re-invent the wheel, but that is about it. Concentrate on what YOU do. Observing other people may end up yielding you nothing.

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