Do things because you enjoy doing them. Then you'll be less disappointed when your startup fails. You don't need money to be happy.
Sorry about your gf though.
Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
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Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#32Keep a dialogue with everybody, don't shut yourself off from friends and family - no matter how uncomfortable it is.
Stay active physically and socially, get involved with your community and work wise, seek new employment and "keep moving".
No matter how bad it feels, just remember that this time in your life will pass - you will get past it.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#33Rock bottom always enables you to re-invent yourself. Take it as an opportunity to figure out more about family and other non-startup things about life. Work out what were your weaknesses, it will take time and be okay with that.
For me the first time fuck up (which was epic level, startup that I was working in crashed the middle of the recession) taught me that I had to make this holistic and a part of my lifestyle (building things, companies). Have a 7mo baby and a startup together now, can't think of doing anything else (and yes, shit does happen on and off).
Feel free to email d@klipper.io
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#34This might help: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7933155 Also, you'll need to put a contact email address in the 'about' section of your profile so people can contact you.
thanks for that link
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#35As with all personal advice, all I can offer is my perspective, so take from it what you can and ignore the rest. In life, we move through multiple contexts that support us: Friends, family, relationships, careers, intellectual movements, social clubs, et cetera. Typically, when we fail in one of these contexts, we can rely on our success in the other areas to sort of "justify" or "rationalize" our experience. We say…
Yeah, unfortunately i've neglected most of my friendships b/c of the startup.
GF breakup isn't a result of startup failure, but more around our long term goals - children.
Appreciate your perspective, thanks
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#36Hey, drop me a line: balajis at a16z dot com. We try to help entrepreneurs who have an experience like you've had get back on their feet. No promises, but often we can find you a great job at one of our portfolio companies.
assuming this applies to developers and doesn't work for marketing/product manager types
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#37The best thing I can tell you now is get yourself a job. Things will pick back up, from there. You need something to pick up your self-esteem, re-build confidence. In my mind a job is the best way to do that. Slowly pay back your friends and family with the money you earn from your job. you'll feel better about yourself. Email me if you want to talk. zack at codemy dot net
This is at least the 2nd mention of "paying back friends and family." Typically, F&F capital is for equity, not a debt, so paying back doesn't make much sense. I'd focus on real debts first. F&F investors would not be asking for just their orginal investment back if the company had been successful, so sharing the loss makes sense.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#38I have been there. If you manage to stand back on your feet (and you will) you will be stronger than you ever could imagine. Find your own path and get back in the game.
PS: Consider moving to another city.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#39I have been there. If you manage to stand back on your feet (and you will) you will be stronger than you ever could imagine. Find your own path and get back in the game. PS: Consider moving to another city.
This! While it sounds weird, moving to another city and getting a fresh start got me out of my dark period (broke up with GF after 7 years, failed startup, completely broke).
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#40Thank you for all of the constructive comments and different perspectives. I saw a few emails in my inbox too. Thank you.
As a single founder, it's the constant rejections that have me down. Failure to raise money to prove product market-fit [1]. Failure to come through in the clutch. Failure to convince investors. Failure to get the 'Yes' people to actually give you the cheques they said they would commit. Failure to "find a way". Failure at home. Failure at simple tasks like cooking an egg omelette for breakfast. Failure everywhere.
It feels like everything is compounding. I can't close anything to save my life. Literally. Confidence lost, swagger extinct. I try to shake off the negative thoughts and 'push through' as every successful person claims.. but somehow, someone pulls another rug out from under me. When it rains, it fucking pours. It could be worse, but it feels like i'm standing in a nimbus cloud that wont let up.
[1] - Don't need to raise to prove product market fit. But haven't pulled a salary in 8 months. Needed to keep the lights on at home. Avoided taking on contract work as that would take away from the startup, so kept pushing thru. "I'll just raise, I'll find a way.." said every startup founder.