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The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

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Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#31

Pretty much just a sensationality ragepiece designed to mine clicks. Just some quotes from people unhappy with their sex lives used to incite the implication that tech workers are somehow destroying a city.

That crossed my mind too. But I see an ounce of truth in this. I can speak from experience, when you're young and consumed by technology, you might have difficulty conversing with women, even if you're attractive physically. My dating life improved after majoring in art ;-)

In general, I think it's hard to find people that can keep an interesting conversation going, and in your 20s you don't have much life experience anyway, especially if you moved straight from a classroom to a cubicle.

As far as talking about yourself on a date, it's not necessarily a problem, it's just a different style of communicating. If she's talking about herself, that's a strong signal she's interested. Then I can respond with information about myself--that's perfectly acceptable and possibly the desired response. In a conversation, you can change the subject, what a concept ;-)

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#32
post #27

This post has been locked in a mortal battle between upvotes and flags from the moment it appeared. The flags prevailed. They do however wish to be gracious in victory so we have unkilled the post. Carry on—just not on the front page.

How many of the flags came from Amazon employees/investors?

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#33
post #21

Frankly, given the ratios of male to female residents in Seattle and other tech-heavy West Coast metro areas, nobody looking to date men (gay or straight) has any right to complain. You have your pickings! Are they all kinda similar? Well yeah, but so are the men in all other areas whose economies are heavily mono-industrial. As a matter of fact, so are the women in areas whose economies are heavily mono-industrial w…

> but this is a seriously bratty article. I kind of get that, but, there's nothing wrong with a bratty article, and that's her experience. Should she not write about it? Or should she wait until she fits in with the local men and then write about that? Or I could say "raise your standards" beyond vanilla, non-challenging, pleasant writing. I really appreciate the writer's description of her experience, even if 20 yea…

>Should she not write about it?

Frankly, why should she write an entire article, other than perhaps on her personal blog, to complain that she can't find a man who's good enough for her standards?

>Or I could say "raise your standards" beyond vanilla, non-challenging, pleasant writing.

Ok, you want challenging? Here's challenging: I would find many of the same people insufferable as she does. That doesn't mean I feel a right to go telling the whole world that most people around me are unworthy of love or friendship, and that the world will have to fix itself by importing a fresh supply of people I happen to like.

There was a time when I might have thought like that... at age 15. Well, and maybe up through 19. And I still have a hard time finding real common ground with people who aren't at all nerdy.

But hey, diversity is the spice of life! I like having things I don't understand about explained to me! Just last night at Shabbat dinner, I sat across from a fresh new cellular biology grad-student and asked him what his lab does. I did not dismiss him as a peer, even when I grew disinterested because the talk turned to the various drugs he and some electrical engineering type had indulged in during undergrad. At that point I went over and listened to my friend the host of the house (and twenty-something Lubavitch shaliach to my neighborhood) giving his religious lecture for the evening.

Whom did I dismiss as a social peer, politely ignoring for the rest of the night? The guy who thought there was something unpleasant about describing growth rates using terms like "logarithmic", "linear", "polynomial" and "exponential", who considered me less human for knowing.

This is something that has happened repeatedly to me throughout life, and it leaves me with rather more empathy for the boring nerds the author doesn't like dating than for the stuck-up philosophy-major-turned-journalist who can't be bothered to take an interest in lifestyles beyond the underground hippie/artist/rocker crowd that brought her to Seattle in the '90s. To me, she sounds like an insufferable hipster, coincidentally.

Maybe she'll never take an interest, but these are still human beings, not spoiled meat. Just because I don't like brogrammers or workaholic money-mongers on a personal level doesn't mean that I want them dehumanized, any more than I like being dehumanized for being a nerd. Let's have this subcultural holy war! Why do the hippies and humanities majors get to talk down to the rest of us?

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#34

(writing from a throwaway account) As a young male engineer in SF who is very much not the brogrammer type, I can understand where the author is coming from. I'm neither a bro, nor a nerd. I find myself in a vacuum sometimes, wondering where the other "well rounded" guys from "flyover country" are. Everyone seems to be too caught up in their startups or caught up in the money. Or their so nerdy that it's impossible t…

I agree that teaching people how to carry on conversations would be a useful course. But the slight problem with a finishing school is that nerds will probably disagree on the topics of such a school and find some of these suggestions offensive. E.g. >How do you pay attention to world news and politics? Hopefully little as most news isn't news in any usable way. And unless you're actually doing a lot of research, you…

>And worse, if you're trying to have a polite conversation with someone but somehow find out they take p-zombies seriously...

OH GOD! Don't tell me you're some kind of damn dirty naturalist! You people and your scientism! Don't you know Bayes' Theorem can't even solve the Problem of Induction!?

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#35
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> but this is a seriously bratty article. I kind of get that, but, there's nothing wrong with a bratty article, and that's her experience. Should she not write about it? Or should she wait until she fits in with the local men and then write about that? Or I could say "raise your standards" beyond vanilla, non-challenging, pleasant writing. I really appreciate the writer's description of her experience, even if 20 yea…

>Should she not write about it? Frankly, why should she write an entire article, other than perhaps on her personal blog, to complain that she can't find a man who's good enough for her standards? >Or I could say "raise your standards" beyond vanilla, non-challenging, pleasant writing. Ok, you want challenging? Here's challenging: I would find many of the same people insufferable as she does. That doesn't mean I feel…

>Frankly, why should she write an entire article Uhm, I don't know... wasn't there an entire tv series, two movies, and another tv series spinnoff that basically revolved around exactly what this article was discussing? Sure it was in NYC and talked about all men, but still...

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#36
post #9

“The sad thing about guys who exhibit these brogrammer qualities is they seem to fall short of greatness in both worlds,” said Parish. “They’re not purely macho or purely geeky, they’re somewhat pretenders in both...” Part of the problem is that women like this want a man who looks like Tarzan, is rich, respected and powerful but who can also change the oil in the car, fix the plumbing, mow the lawn, fight Brock Lesn…

Sure, a lot of women want that "tall dark and handsome" guy with lots of money. But the author even mentioned some of the people she went with were nice looking, but either they were egotistical, or they were boring. And yeah a lot of tech guys are boring.

I once had an officemate, did decently in the finance department, was ok looking, but... We were both contracting, I was taking the summer off to travel Europe. He... well he wished he could take a cruise or something, but ended up sitting in his apartment for several months until the next contract came along.

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Should she not write about it? Frankly, why should she write an entire article, other than perhaps on her personal blog, to complain that she can't find a man who's good enough for her standards? >Or I could say "raise your standards" beyond vanilla, non-challenging, pleasant writing. Ok, you want challenging? Here's challenging: I would find many of the same people insufferable as she does. That doesn't mean I feel…

>Frankly, why should she write an entire article Uhm, I don't know... wasn't there an entire tv series, two movies, and another tv series spinnoff that basically revolved around exactly what this article was discussing? Sure it was in NYC and talked about all men, but still...

Yes, I agree, Sex and the City was a deeply problematic and sexist program!

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#38

Pretty much just a sensationality ragepiece designed to mine clicks. Just some quotes from people unhappy with their sex lives used to incite the implication that tech workers are somehow destroying a city.

Exactly my though. Since when is "I can't get laid because my standards are too high" worth more than a tweet? Even as a tweet is a pathetic whine.

Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys

#40
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> but this is a seriously bratty article. I kind of get that, but, there's nothing wrong with a bratty article, and that's her experience. Should she not write about it? Or should she wait until she fits in with the local men and then write about that? Or I could say "raise your standards" beyond vanilla, non-challenging, pleasant writing. I really appreciate the writer's description of her experience, even if 20 yea…

>Should she not write about it? Frankly, why should she write an entire article, other than perhaps on her personal blog, to complain that she can't find a man who's good enough for her standards? >Or I could say "raise your standards" beyond vanilla, non-challenging, pleasant writing. Ok, you want challenging? Here's challenging: I would find many of the same people insufferable as she does. That doesn't mean I feel…

IMO this did not deserve downvotes, any more than the original article deserved flags. You might disagree with eli's response, but I think it contributed to the conversation.
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