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We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

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Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#31

Post by roc »

billybob255 wrote: post #8

Just to add some context, the author also wrote a quantified self article about documenting every thing her daughter did [1] (time, food taken, diaper wetness, color of urine, thickness of poop, sleep habits, etc). These are not your standard parents. 1: http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/data_mine_1/2013/07...

To be fair, many 'new parent' classes urge people to record a good bit of that information, in the event that the child is having trouble gaining weight, has an illness, etc.

Mix that 'good advice' with the 'quantified self' band-wagon that rolled through and it doesn't seem too crazy for a journalist to have taken up that torch -- at least long enough for an article or three.

To have continued well after it became clear that their child was properly growing/healthy -- and other article subjects presented themselves -- would be something different though.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#32

Post by agilord »

epoxyhockey wrote: post #17
rayiner wrote: post #11

I'm a new parent and my wife and I are not taking any measures to minimize our kid's Facebook exposure. As a general rule, it's pretty safe to "do what everybody else is doing." If Facebook albums parents made for kids when they were little come back to haunt this coming generation as a group, the ills will be remedied either by making or using certain sorts of analysis illegal (the college application hypothetical)…

As a general rule, it's pretty safe to do "what everybody else is doing." I noticed this rule after the housing crash. If one person was underwater on their mortgage, no one would blink. But, when hundreds of thousands of people become underwater, Congress started to get involved to (attempt to) provide relief. It seems impossible to limit someone's exposure on Facebook, especially when any 3rd party will happily pos…

> It seems impossible to limit someone's exposure on Facebook,

I don't think anyone is forced to use it. I know several families who have account, yet, they don't share on it or use it for anything that could be embarrassing in the later years.

> especially when any 3rd party will happily post a photo of your family member online.

You should always explain to your friends what your expectation of privacy is. If they don't respect that, they are not your friends anyway.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#33

Post by salmonellaeater »

This approach is doomed to failure. From the moment their daughter starts spending time with people outside her immediate family, she will start showing up in others' photos and her face will be linked to those people. Given that there's some unknown person who repeatedly shows up with certain people, the second her name leaks somewhere it will be easy to reveal her history.

Even without face recognition, disparate 'anonymous' accounts on different sites can be linked to her, as long as a few associates can be linked to real-world people [1].

[1] http://www.academia.edu/1518346/Link_Prediction_in_Highly_Fr...

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#34

Post by brador »

It's not you who uploads the pics, it's your friends and family, then they tag the faces. Then fb steals your friends address book info using the facebook app/email connections and builds out a network and ghost profile just for you.

You might never use facebook but you're on there. All of us are. Because your friends don't give a damn about privacy and screwed the pooch.

And Zuck knows. That's why he said on stage we'll all eventually have a profile, with his weird all-knowing nerd giggle (youtube 'zuckerburgs 10 evil seconds'), because even a ghost profile is still a profile, it's got data. It's verified. And you'll never delete it. Ever.

This ain't going back in.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#35

Post by justinhj »

lotsofcows wrote: post #28

The services you sign up for are unlikely to exist in 10 years time let alone 20.

It's quite likely that the content itself may well be mirrored to an archive as has happened with geocities. It's likely that any truly embarrassing or interesting picture will be pretty much immortal online.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#36

Post by LordHumungous »

> I adore Kate’s parents, and they’re raising her to be an amazing young woman. But they’re essentially robbing her of a digital adulthood that’s free of bias and presupposition.

Oh god, these types of smug parents annoy the crap out of me. This is the digital version of the mom who lectures you for letting your kid watch Sesame Street or eats Frosted Flakes, because don't you know sugar/TV are going to destroy his mind and body.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#37

Post by ef4 »

coldtea wrote: post #27
ef4 wrote: post #14

The author is wrong because she assumes social customs are immutable. They aren't. In 2028 there will be nothing embarrassing about appearing in thousands of online photos dating back to your birth. Because almost everyone will be in the same boat. In fact, it may be considered weird and suspicious if there's not much online content about you.

> In 2028 there will be nothing embarrassing about appearing in thousands of online photos dating back to your birth. Because almost everyone will be in the same boat. Or you know, those that aren't will have it as an advantage. Like how everybody is nearly overweight, but still those are aren't have a leg up.

I'll grant that it's logically possible.

But I don't really understand why people think it's disadvantageous if others can find out whether or not you were cute when you were two years old. I think it has more to do with fear of what's new than any logical argument.

Putting my money where my mouth is, here is my son:

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7402/9525304181_8da5d48e22_b.j...

In what future dystopia will the presence of this photo on the public internet harm him? "Ooh, I see here that you once looked at the ocean as a child. You're fired."

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#38

Post by justinhj »

mashmac2 wrote: post #2

Does anyone else do this (or something similar)? I'm curious to see how people introduce the Internet to their children in a relatively-responsible way.

I post a lot of family pictures online but I never post anything that I'd consider embarrassing for my children. Nor do I post anything on Facebook that I wouldn't want a random stranger to overhear in a shopping line.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#39

Post by rayiner »

coldtea wrote: post #24
epoxyhockey wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a general rule, it's pretty safe to do "what everybody else is doing." I noticed this rule after the housing crash. If one person was underwater on their mortgage, no one would blink. But, when hundreds of thousands of people become underwater, Congress started to get involved to (attempt to) provide relief. It seems impossible to limit someone's exposure on Facebook, especially when any 3rd party will happily pos…

> I noticed this rule after the housing crash. If one person was underwater on their mortgage, no one would blink. But, when hundreds of thousands of people become underwater, Congress started to get involved to (attempt to) provide relief. Considering that hundrends of thousadns still lost their houses, it's not much of a comfort -- or good advice in general. "Do what everybody else is doing" will at best lead to me…

Yes, doing what everybody else is doing will lead to mediocre results by definition. But it will also minimize social friction (important!) and give you herd protection against certain kinds of downside risk.

There was an article recently that said that startups shouldn't innovate in non-core areas. This is precisely the advice of "do what everyone else is doing" at least for certain things.

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