Things I Never, Ever Want to Hear Again

Your translation seems to be oblivious to the fact that "the white male establishment" != "all white men". In fact, there are plenty of women and plenty of people of color who are a part of the white male establishment. And there are even plenty of white men who aren't a part of it! How can that be? Well, all it takes to be a part of it is to be an apologist for inequality or to otherwise perpetuate inequality.

So the reason why it can be referred to as the "white male establishment" isn't because of its membership, but because its existence is mainly for the benefit of white males.

> Your translation seems to be oblivious to the fact that "the white male establishment" != "all white men".

The term "white male establishment" seems pretty unambiguous. Even if it involves proxies of many colors and genders, which is your point, it's still fair to describe it as a "problem with men".

> Well, all it takes to be a part of it is to be an apologist for inequality or to otherwise perpetuate inequality.

Yes, and the most effective way for women to address that inequality is to start their own institutions (schools, financial institutions, businesses) that proactively and positively address injustice and inequality, which women can certainly do. Oh, and stop whining about men, which can only serve to hide the fact that the key obstacle women face in 2013 is ... women.

> ... reads as though you just don't want it to be your problem.

Actually, as a matter of fact, it isn't my problem. Women have rights, freedom, and 60% of the money in society. All they need to do is stop whining, stop listening to negative voices from inside and outside their own community, and choose another approach.

> Can men just stop being dicks to women?

Ah, yes, the default feminist agenda -- it's all the fault of men. That's why I suggest setting up a cooperative economic and technological system, or network if you will, and solve the man problem that way.

Imagine that you're an African-American slave in the U.S. about the time of the Civil War. The problem is obviously slave owners, who will rationalize their behavior as they continue to oppress you, while explaining that it's for your own good.

What are your options? You can complain about the master some more, hope he will eventually change his behavior, or you can enter the underground railroad and change your environment and your prospects.

What's your choice? Complain about your mistreatment at the hands of a congenital racist, risk worse treatment as the biggest change in U.S. history unfolds around you, or move on?

> That seems way simpler than starting schools and companies for teaching women how to overcome all the men who are being dicks to them.

Yes -- the problem is men, so women don't have to do anything except complain and pose as victims.

> It's so obvious, I'm astonished you haven't thought of it.

The problem here isn't what I haven't thought of, it's what you haven't thought of.

During my around-the-world solo sail (http://arachnoid.com/sailbook) I had many adventures. One of the most memorable with respect to the present topic was in a small Egyptian village, where as evening came on, people would gather around the community TV set and watch American TV, which is very popular there.

One of the shows included scenes in which a woman would speak up for her rights -- she might shout at a man who was mistreating her, or simply leave. Normal and justified behavior in the West, but not part of the lives of Egyptian women. I remember how those scenes were received by the village women, and how they did what they could to keep from cheering when they saw a woman speak up for herself.

But you know what? In that society, those women are far from being able to exercise what we might regard as basic human rights. But women in this society don't have that excuse -- women possess, and can exercise, political and economic power, and they can vote with their feet. Or they can try to blame all their problems on men.

The problem is not that women don't have power and rights. The problem is that women won't exercise them. It's much easier to say, "if only men would be nicer," and carry on posing as victims.

Sorry -- no sale.

Thank Goddess you weren't around during the American Civil War so you could make a huge show of NOT participating as a white member of the Underground Railroad because the plight of black slaves just wasn't your fucking problem.

Allow me to use the power you think I have to say: fuck you, thanks for nothing, jerk face. If it's "not your problem" then you are actively increasing my problems.

All my educators were men. Everyone in my chain of command from manager to CEO are men. About 90% of my industry peers are men. If they were all anti-woman then WHAT GODDAM POWER WOULD I HAVE? But they're not. Some of them even go so far as to acknowledge the general state of inequality might be within THEIR power to influence. And so here I am: a woman with a computer science degree, working information security, because not only did some men choose not to use their power to block me from getting a foothold, THEY DECIDED TO BE ACTIVELY FEMINIST and help me pull through when the misogynists were telling me to kill myself because I was a worthless slut and actively trying to prevent my career from ever starting with harassment, degradation, and slander.

Maybe I'm not your problem. But if you are just gonna kick back and relax and let misogyny sort itself out then you. are. mine.

It is. Here’s the science of why by Heidi Grant Halvorson PhD citing research by Carol Dweck PhD. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/2011...