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Depressed and need advice

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Re: Depressed and need advice

#31

Post by atsaloli »

bookreader wrote: post #17
spoiler wrote: post #15

You should see a doctor. Its very unlikely that you are getting depressed at the prospect of going to university. It's more likely that you are suffering from depression, that the prospect of going back to uni is making you anxious, which in turn causes stress and people who are depressed have a very different response to stress than people who are not. Also, think of depression as a hole, and stress like this huge b…

I think I might be slightly depressed, but the prospect of going back to college is making me unhappy (I think I'm pretty certain of this, but I don't want to go through all the reasons). I did well academically freshman year despite my depression, and at this point I'm mostly wondering how bad dropping out would be for me career wise (and maybe socially). I feel confident that I can make friends outside of school, a…

I dropped out and am doing well career wise. In computer systems engineering it's the results that matter, not diplomas.

Re: Depressed and need advice

#32

Post by gyardley »

If it's not going to make you kill yourself, go back to school. In American society, a degree from an elite university is a skeleton key to opportunity. It's a clear signifier for 'upper-class' in a society that likes to pretend there's no such thing as class. They could teach you nothing except what wine goes with the fish for four years straight, and it'd still be worth the price of tuition.

I have a history degree from Stanford, and it's given me ridiculously unfair advantages in areas completely unrelated to history. I can't even imagine the easy mode my life would be set on if my degree was in something related to what I do for a living. Giving up that kind of advantage because you're temporarily depressed seems pretty foolish to me.

Re: Depressed and need advice

#33

Post by foobarbazqux »

If you do decide to go back to school, I recommend taking advantage of the free and confidential counseling clinic that they almost certainly have. Don't tell your family about it unless you want to - it can be felt as a betrayal. See someone on a weekly basis to sort through what's going on. It just helps to talk, and counselors are trained to listen and empathize. Psychiatrists and other medical doctors are generally not trained like this, they will instead try to diagnose you with a disorder, so you might want to rely on them just for medication if you go that route. There's lots and lots of free high quality support on a university campus so don't be shy about taking advantage of it. On the other hand, if counseling or therapy in your hometown is an option for you if you drop out, that could help you figure things out too.

Re: Depressed and need advice

#34

Post by [deleted] »

foobarbazqux wrote: post #33

If you do decide to go back to school, I recommend taking advantage of the free and confidential counseling clinic that they almost certainly have. Don't tell your family about it unless you want to - it can be felt as a betrayal. See someone on a weekly basis to sort through what's going on. It just helps to talk, and counselors are trained to listen and empathize. Psychiatrists and other medical doctors are general…

[deleted]

Re: Depressed and need advice

#35

Post by [deleted] »

gyardley wrote: post #32

If it's not going to make you kill yourself, go back to school. In American society, a degree from an elite university is a skeleton key to opportunity. It's a clear signifier for 'upper-class' in a society that likes to pretend there's no such thing as class. They could teach you nothing except what wine goes with the fish for four years straight, and it'd still be worth the price of tuition. I have a history degree…

[deleted]

Re: Depressed and need advice

#37

Post by [deleted] »

_jss wrote: post #11

Are you more motivated to conquer your depression or to sidestep the situation? From an opportunity standpoint, this could be a chance to overcome a difficult personal challenge (depression) while also being able to do something many don't (go to university). I hope that you find your answer.

[deleted]

Re: Depressed and need advice

#38

Post by atsaloli »

bookreader wrote: post #8
mikecane wrote: post #7

My advice is to go back to school. And not because you are being pressured to but because it will broaden you in ways you can't anticipate. You'll be in an environment that is unpredictable and stimulating and you don't know where future inspiration will come from because of it. Jobs found inspiration after dropping out but -- and this is the important bit -- while still on the campus : >>>“The minute I dropped out I…

Thanks for the response. Several people have advised me to go back for the overall experience, but I feel like I'm not likely to enjoy it if I'm unhappy or depressed there. I'm wondering how bad dropping out would be. I have about a year and a half of experience as an employed programmer, and I know several languages and frameworks. Would the lack of a degree become a serious problem in the future?

Will your school allow an open ended leave of absence? I have been on such leave for eighteen years. It's good knowing I could come back.

Re: Depressed and need advice

#39

Post by bookreader »

foobarbazqux wrote: post #33

If you do decide to go back to school, I recommend taking advantage of the free and confidential counseling clinic that they almost certainly have. Don't tell your family about it unless you want to - it can be felt as a betrayal. See someone on a weekly basis to sort through what's going on. It just helps to talk, and counselors are trained to listen and empathize. Psychiatrists and other medical doctors are general…

Thanks for the advice. I think the depression would probably go away if I drop out (unless I can't find a programming job at all). I have contract work for the next year at least, so I'm not too worried.

If I go back, I'll definitely try out your suggestion of talking to counselor.

Re: Depressed and need advice

#40

Post by bookreader »

gyardley wrote: post #32

If it's not going to make you kill yourself, go back to school. In American society, a degree from an elite university is a skeleton key to opportunity. It's a clear signifier for 'upper-class' in a society that likes to pretend there's no such thing as class. They could teach you nothing except what wine goes with the fish for four years straight, and it'd still be worth the price of tuition. I have a history degree…

I talked to several programmers, and they mostly said that a prestigious degree only helps out with the first few jobs (though they said that no degree at all is a slight to moderate negative). I'm not sure how accurate their perceptions are, and I think the tech industry might also be unique in caring less about prestigious credentials.

These programmers also said that a prestigious degree does help significantly in other areas, like finance and law.

What areas has your Stanford degree helped you in?

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