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Life is not a conveyor belt

alexwarren.co.uk

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Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#31

Post by grownseed »

"I would love for all of those years of school to teach kids these lessons instead: Don’t follow orders, don’t blindly copy what others are doing, and always keep your wits about you."

This, to me, is the essence of Education, or at least what it should be - equip future generations with the ability to think critically, to become more adaptable by developing themselves and their peers in the process.

In most of the countries I know of, School systems are self-fulfilling jokes. You have teachers sandwiched between layers upon layers of administration and the kids' parents. You have a lot of parents who've dumped all their educational responsibilities onto the schools. You have the administrations whose main purpose seems to be meeting stats. And after all that, you have the kids, awkwardly categorized by age, pushed through hoops with no clear purpose except to pass tests. This costs a tremendous amount of resources (not just talking about money here), and for what results?

We seem to live in an age where we think everything has to be, and is worth measuring. I believe the "Level up" system is a result of that, it makes it much easier to assess people's worth, whatever the hell that worth may be. Ironically (and sadly), the only way to get out of this is real Education, one that promotes curiosity and self-growth for the sake of it (and eventually for the greater good).

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#32

Post by wbond »

jasonkester wrote: post #9

One of the strange things about being 40 is meeting people my own age who have college-age children. It's amazing how little I have in common with people who chose that life track. They seem "old" to me, even though they're often several years younger than me. As though they've lived a lot more life than me, but not the "good" parts of life. I can't imagine how tough it must be to raise a family on an entry-level job…

It is true how your choices in life make for distinct personalities. I'm not even 30 yet and have a seven year-old. I can't imagine waiting until 40 before having kids. It really depends on what you define "good" as.

It is pretty easy to flip around the "old" label, for instance: some could say a 50 year-old parent seems "old" - now 40 years removed from their 10 year-old child. How many 50 year-olds do you see getting down and dirty with their kids playing and being carefree?

But, seriously, people of any age can be great parents and lots of different people have different goals in life. Some people seek money, some love, some fame, some recognition, knowledge, excitement, stability, fun, etc.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#33

Post by molbioguy »

Part of the problem with viewing life as a conveyor belt is that you build up expectations of what's ahead. I think that one of the OP's points was that you may be very disappointed (even feel a bit cheated) to learn that happiness is not inevitable, even if you follow all the required steps. So instead, don't just follow the steps. Question, think, break 'rules' if you have to. Make your own choices and don't just follow the prescribed path. You won't get a second chance.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#34

Post by alenox »

icebraining wrote: post #13
alenox wrote: post #5

Every person I know, in their 20's, could have written the same post as OP... Myself included. Now they are all married with children... Myself included.

Really? As a person in my 20s, I have a reasonable number of friends who have plans of getting a house, spouse and children; many have had them since their teens. Of course, nowadays those plans are less taken for granted, considering many can't even get jobs.

In my 20's, most of my friends and I were in one touring rock and roll band or another. A bunch of societal malcontents, dropping out of college and trying to do something else. Maybe that's not terribly common, but I really didn't know many people who pined for the family life... but biological urges are hard to fight... Not just the urge to procreate, but the urge to raise and nurture kids. The urge to nest and create stability. It's not for everyone, but it IS for most people. Not because of some societal constraint, but because of biological ones. Societal constructs just helps us to fulfill those desires more easily.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#35

Post by nitid_name »

kabouseng wrote: post #19
kaybe wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But, you know, you're priviledged here because you're a guy. For a woman it's not the best idea biologically to start having kids at 40.

For a man aged 40 it is also not the best idea. The risks for children with birth defects increases substantially with older men as well.

[Citation needed]

I was under the impression the drop off for men both progressed slower and was less severe than it was for women.

e.g. a 40 something woman has the same chance of having offspring with Downs Syndrome or other congenital defects as two cousins in their twenties inbreeding, while a 80 year old man with a 20 something woman is still less at risk than both of the aforementioned pairs.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#36

Post by silves89 »

noonespecial wrote: post #11

Lots of things in life seem ordinary to the point of tediousness. Marriage, the birth of a child, recognition on the job etc. These things happen to most everyone at one point or another. I'm here to tell you that these things can be quite extraordinary when they happen to you . Even if everyone in the line rides the same coaster, the plunge is still a thrill.

Utterly extraordinary. Watching my daughter play in my friends' gardens made me want to move out of the town and into the suburbs, so she can have space for a paddling pool. I'll buy a bigger, duller car for her and her impending sibling, without thinking twice about it.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#37

Post by kabouseng »

nitid_name wrote: post #35
kabouseng wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For a man aged 40 it is also not the best idea. The risks for children with birth defects increases substantially with older men as well.

[Citation needed] I was under the impression the drop off for men both progressed slower and was less severe than it was for women. e.g. a 40 something woman has the same chance of having offspring with Downs Syndrome or other congenital defects as two cousins in their twenties inbreeding, while a 80 year old man with a 20 something woman is still less at risk than both of the aforementioned pairs.

As I was typing that comment I was thinking someone is going to ask me for source :-) I dont have a citation, just the class notes from my wifes medical undergraduate classes. Im sure if I did the effort, I could google a study or two for you. Of course it's not just the genetics, but also a woman's ability to carry full term. Younger bodies are better at that. Nevertheless, for someone preoccupied with living life to the fullest, waiting till your older to have children, and increasing the chance for a down syndrome baby is a bit counter productive.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#38

Post by jasonkester »

kabouseng wrote: post #37
nitid_name wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[Citation needed] I was under the impression the drop off for men both progressed slower and was less severe than it was for women. e.g. a 40 something woman has the same chance of having offspring with Downs Syndrome or other congenital defects as two cousins in their twenties inbreeding, while a 80 year old man with a 20 something woman is still less at risk than both of the aforementioned pairs.

As I was typing that comment I was thinking someone is going to ask me for source :-) I dont have a citation, just the class notes from my wifes medical undergraduate classes. Im sure if I did the effort, I could google a study or two for you. Of course it's not just the genetics, but also a woman's ability to carry full term. Younger bodies are better at that. Nevertheless, for someone preoccupied with living life t…

for someone preoccupied with living life to the fullest, waiting till your older to have children, and increasing the chance for a down syndrome baby is a bit counter productive

In what way? Increasing the odds from 1:1000 to 10:1000 in exchange for 20 years of carefree living seems like a pretty good tradeoff to me.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#39

Post by enraged_camel »

jasonkester wrote: post #38
kabouseng wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I was typing that comment I was thinking someone is going to ask me for source :-) I dont have a citation, just the class notes from my wifes medical undergraduate classes. Im sure if I did the effort, I could google a study or two for you. Of course it's not just the genetics, but also a woman's ability to carry full term. Younger bodies are better at that. Nevertheless, for someone preoccupied with living life t…

for someone preoccupied with living life to the fullest, waiting till your older to have children, and increasing the chance for a down syndrome baby is a bit counter productive In what way? Increasing the odds from 1:1000 to 10:1000 in exchange for 20 years of carefree living seems like a pretty good tradeoff to me.

How can you even know that it's a good trade off if you haven't had a Down syndrome baby?

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#40

Post by resplin »

jasonkester wrote: post #9

One of the strange things about being 40 is meeting people my own age who have college-age children. It's amazing how little I have in common with people who chose that life track. They seem "old" to me, even though they're often several years younger than me. As though they've lived a lot more life than me, but not the "good" parts of life. I can't imagine how tough it must be to raise a family on an entry-level job…

Some of my best experiences as a parent have come because I started young and had to struggle about which priority in life was most important. It changed who I am. I wouldn't trade the extra time I have to be a father and grand-father for the freedom and flexibility I could have enjoyed. I find deeper joy in the "boring" slog of being a dad.
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