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The secrets of body language

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31–40 of 114 posts

Re: The secrets of body language

#31

The fun part is watching people actually try to control their body language in reality. You can try, but if you aren't feeling what that "power pose" is broadcasting, you'll just look like an idiot to anyone even remotely paying attention. You aren't going to gain leadership by leaning back and spread eagling in a business meeting. You're going to gain it by being an actual leader and doing stuff that adds value to a…

I sort of agree. I find that avoiding bad sorts of physical signals is definitely useful, but consciously instantiating new signals in a convincing way is (surprisingly) very difficult.

That said, there are a few people who are really good at this stuff. One technique is based more on directly altering your mood rather than consciously positioning your body, and some people just seem better able to manipulate their mood than others.

Re: The secrets of body language

#32

The fun part is watching people actually try to control their body language in reality. You can try, but if you aren't feeling what that "power pose" is broadcasting, you'll just look like an idiot to anyone even remotely paying attention. You aren't going to gain leadership by leaning back and spread eagling in a business meeting. You're going to gain it by being an actual leader and doing stuff that adds value to a…

There's some overlap between leadership and not caring too much what others think.

The stereotypical brash alpha-male behaviours aren't necessarily affected. They can stem from just not even considering for a moment that you're not entitled to succeed, or to do as you please. While this can be annoying, it's also magnetic.

Re: The secrets of body language

#33

I feel like this is one of those instances where, once everyone knows about it, everyone does it, and everyone knows why you're doing it. Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective (perhaps there is a name for this phenomenon). If I keep seeing books/blog posts/news segments on "power poses" then every interviewee starts putting their feet on my table, surely I'll notice. It's the body language version of a buzzwor…

Exactly, the basis for research like this is entirely social.

Re: The secrets of body language

#34

I feel like this is one of those instances where, once everyone knows about it, everyone does it, and everyone knows why you're doing it. Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective (perhaps there is a name for this phenomenon). If I keep seeing books/blog posts/news segments on "power poses" then every interviewee starts putting their feet on my table, surely I'll notice. It's the body language version of a buzzwor…

> Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective

This is in conflict with the continued usefulness of timeless classics like "How to win friends and influence people".

Re: The secrets of body language

#35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good point. For example, I tend to lean forward (with forearms on the table) out of respect. It shows I'm interested but I can see how it could be misconstrued as a nervousness, or 'low-power'.

But isn't giving respect low-power? If you're the alpha, others give you respect, and you do as you please. I'm exaggerating, obviously, but respect is a form of deference. Deference is low-power.

Power is not the same thing as domination.

Re: The secrets of body language

#36

As a great practical guide to reading and applying body language, I'd recommend "What everybody is saying" by Dave Navarro. Guy used to do body language analysis for the FBI afaik, and then wrote a book about it. http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d... Concerning the body language tips the article recomends, I think everyone except arms crossed behind head is covered for in the book. Arm akimb…

I've finished that book and I think it could be edited down to a quarter of its length. useful but the page count is highly inflated

Re: The secrets of body language

#37

I feel like this is one of those instances where, once everyone knows about it, everyone does it, and everyone knows why you're doing it. Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective (perhaps there is a name for this phenomenon). If I keep seeing books/blog posts/news segments on "power poses" then every interviewee starts putting their feet on my table, surely I'll notice. It's the body language version of a buzzwor…

It can also become quite awkward, especially the physical copying.

Re: The secrets of body language

#38

I feel like this is one of those instances where, once everyone knows about it, everyone does it, and everyone knows why you're doing it. Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective (perhaps there is a name for this phenomenon). If I keep seeing books/blog posts/news segments on "power poses" then every interviewee starts putting their feet on my table, surely I'll notice. It's the body language version of a buzzwor…

Wayback Machine has the article: http://web.archive.org/web/20101222093524/http://oppugn.us/p...

Re: The secrets of body language

#39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good point. For example, I tend to lean forward (with forearms on the table) out of respect. It shows I'm interested but I can see how it could be misconstrued as a nervousness, or 'low-power'.

But isn't giving respect low-power? If you're the alpha, others give you respect, and you do as you please. I'm exaggerating, obviously, but respect is a form of deference. Deference is low-power.

[deleted]

Re: The secrets of body language

#40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good point. For example, I tend to lean forward (with forearms on the table) out of respect. It shows I'm interested but I can see how it could be misconstrued as a nervousness, or 'low-power'.

But isn't giving respect low-power? If you're the alpha, others give you respect, and you do as you please. I'm exaggerating, obviously, but respect is a form of deference. Deference is low-power.

I know what you mean, but given the context of a job interview, by definition[1] you are in a lower power position.

I agree with sibling comments, though, that respectfulness is not mutually exclusive with alpha-ness. And if in general you are a respectful person, a high-power posture will probably not impact their opinion of your respectfulness too much.

[1] Assuming you really want the job and unless you are a hot shot who is gracing them with your willingness to work for them.

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