Two years and counting. I hope it lasts :)
The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
31–40 of 258 posts
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#32I'm honestly really surprised to hear that anybody thinks there is still stigma attached to online dating. I don't know what it's like for straight people, but online dating definitely has zero stigma for gay folks. I mean, compared to Grindr -- where all criteria for meeting somebody have been reduced to "I don't want to have to walk more than a couple of blocks" -- online dating like OKCupid is staid and respectabl…
well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends. i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life. ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.
That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. You're arguing that the only valid way to meet people is as part of a group.
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#33Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#34I'm honestly really surprised to hear that anybody thinks there is still stigma attached to online dating. I don't know what it's like for straight people, but online dating definitely has zero stigma for gay folks. I mean, compared to Grindr -- where all criteria for meeting somebody have been reduced to "I don't want to have to walk more than a couple of blocks" -- online dating like OKCupid is staid and respectabl…
well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends. i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life. ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.
> ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.
One of my best friends got married with a girl he met online dating. Another one met his wife on an online forum we both frequented. I met my last girlfriend (3 years) and my fiancée (getting married this summer) in bars/clubs.
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#35Relevant discussion of the perfect mate myth, in hilarious song form: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeZMIgheZro
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#36Earlier quoted context omitted.
well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends. i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life. ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.
That's a very "Hollywood" way to think. If you're looking for a compatible someone, why not increase your chances by searching among a group of people who are also looking for a compatible someone, instead of hoping you randomly happen upon people while out with your friends.
For an actual, sound reason: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Market_for_Lemons
Just as with employers looking for employees, some of the people who are looking just haven't found the right fit yet. The rest are people nobody wants. The former churn (or dwindle if the market isn't being replenished), while the latter remain constant.
The game-theoretic optimum in a market for lemons--whatever you might think of it--is to avoid "dating" to begin with, and instead just find someone desirable and seduce them away from whoever they're currently with. In employment, this is called "headhunting." :)
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#37I think the lie told is not one of predestined love, but of perfect love. That you'll find the person of your dreams, they will sweep you off your feet, and you'll never have a negative feeling about them. It will all end storybook. Of course the next 20 chapters are ones of compromise, empathy, regret, and apologies, with happiness and perfection in between.
ha! no shit. after almost two decades of marriage i laugh my ass off at this online dating stuff. what a farce. it's a perfect metaphor for the shallow cesspool our culture has become...
So you've never actually used any online dating service the past 20 years, but you still think you are qualified to dismiss it all as a farce?
I have several friends who met their significant others online, and are now happily married with children. But you just laugh...?
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#38I'm honestly really surprised to hear that anybody thinks there is still stigma attached to online dating. I don't know what it's like for straight people, but online dating definitely has zero stigma for gay folks. I mean, compared to Grindr -- where all criteria for meeting somebody have been reduced to "I don't want to have to walk more than a couple of blocks" -- online dating like OKCupid is staid and respectabl…
well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends. i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life. ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.
I picked my girlfriend[1] of four years up at a bar. After a few dates, she broke it off with a guy she'd been dating casually who she met through Match.com.
[1] Ivy-educated, Ph.D.-holding, tenured professor girlfriend.
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#39I think you're right about a lot of the problems with dating websites - I wrote about this recently too here (http://www.zacharyalberico.net/blog/dating-websites/).
I remember checking your site out when you posted it and it's nice to see someone trying something actually new, but I feel like this concept doesn't solve the common problems and adds some new ones.
Women will still be over messaged and men are still under messaged. People still ignore profiles in favor of photos - what does this change?
Now you need your friends to create a profile for you (granted at least it's not of the essay variety) and you need your friends to try and find people for you? I have a hard time seeing anyone doing that considering it's a relatively boring process with little return (the problem with the current sites).
I also think women are even less likely to use it considering your own point about them not wanting to involve their own friends. I would think people would also want to play a role in the selection considering it's a pretty subjective/personal thing.
Definitely awesome to see something new though and hopefully you prove me wrong and it works better than I suspect.
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#40I'm honestly really surprised to hear that anybody thinks there is still stigma attached to online dating. I don't know what it's like for straight people, but online dating definitely has zero stigma for gay folks. I mean, compared to Grindr -- where all criteria for meeting somebody have been reduced to "I don't want to have to walk more than a couple of blocks" -- online dating like OKCupid is staid and respectabl…
well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends. i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life. ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.
You sound like you're 19. I'll take my downvotes just to point that out.