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We need a startup to fix online dating

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Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#31

Post by taligent »

mikeknoop wrote: post #30
waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

Do you guys do mixed groups (2 guys, 1 girl -- etc)? In the future? Your messaging tries really hard not to label Grouper as a dating service but (3 girls) and (3 guys) is pretty transparent about what the intentions are for the two groups. Lot's of growth avenues, looking forward to seeing this grow.

If they adopt the Japanese approach then it works just fine.

Basically they aim for equal numbers of guys and girls but the protocol is that you spend equal amounts of time with each opposite.

So it doesn't just become an awkward pair off situation.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#32

Post by kaliblack »

waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

> (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird).

I agree that this is one of the worst aspects. Sounds like you've solved the ebay-for-people and only-as-attractive-as-your-profile issues. Nice work!

How much success are you having with facebook info? Is that enough data to define compatibility?

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#33

Post by vidarh »

fatalerrorx3 wrote: post #5
fatalerrorx3 wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You could limit who can contact each user based on the requirement of filling out a "dating checklist" this means that women won't get inundated with messages and will actually respond to those who fit her requirements. Hey, there's your startup...video speed dating! lol

POF doesn't make it a requirement, probably because it would create friction in the signup process. eHarmony on the other hand, that's too many questions and no one is going to fill that damn thing out.

It can be done gradually:

Let people sign up without filling in much to just browse. But at each and every step, show them some possible candidates that will be unavailable to them unless they fill in a bit more information.

"This pretty woman? She won't let you message her unless you fill in your birth date and it matches her preferred age range. Guy over here? Cares deeply about your music taste".

It's no different from how a lot of these services will suddenly hit you with paywalls to do various things. Get you fired up about contacting someone first, and then demand just a bit more.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#34

Post by w33ble »

waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

I've seen this service before and really like the idea. My hangup is the Facebook requirement. I understand why you use that network, and that it would be difficult to use another to try to gauge which groups would have a good time though. But, as someone who doesn't use and has no interest in Facebook, I'm hopeful that you have other plans for this service in the long-term.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#35

Post by wlesieutre »

cgio wrote: post #10
marcusestes wrote: post #8

An unmarried woman with a child isn't necessarily carrying "massive baggage." What a rude and borderline misogynistic sentiment.

It is misogynistic, and it makes me think, maybe online dating works and that is why his experiences are negative!

I don't see how it's misogynistic. A woman on a dating site who didn't want to settle down and raise a family would probably have the exact same reaction to a single father's profile.

Maybe there's a more polite way of phrasing it, but if you don't want to be raising a kid, then seeing one as "extra baggage" doesn't seem like a stretch to me.

Edit: As sfall points out, he wrote "extra" and not "massive"

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#36

Post by vidarh »

fatalerrorx3 wrote: post #3
thisjustcamein wrote: post #2

I'm pretty familiar with the online dating industry both through business and my own personal involvement. While I agree with the issues that you raise (POF, for instance, has 6.6 guys per girls the last time I checked 6 years ago), I don't see how a new business model will really address this. Attractive women are being wooed all the time and that's not going to change. I think an online speed dating service for bus…

You could limit who can contact each user based on the requirement of filling out a "dating checklist" this means that women won't get inundated with messages and will actually respond to those who fit her requirements. Hey, there's your startup...video speed dating! lol

Part of the problem is that people are horrible at defining who they'll actually fall for.

Several of my past partners have been people who would have ruled me out for various reasons, including "big" ones like race and age that would be high up on the list of first things people would expect to filter by.

So while they' reduce the pool of messages, chances are good they'd also rule out the wrong people.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#37

Post by cemregr »

waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

is this only for straight people for now?

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#38

Post by MrKristopher »

waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

Bleah, I don't like drinking :(

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#39

Post by jarin »

I'm the lead developer for Set For Marriage (https://www.setformarriage.com), and we've thought a LOT about these issues.

We do charge people a subscription fee to be able to start conversations, but it does seem pretty unfair for people to have to pay to reply so we don't require a subscription to reply to messages.

I agree with waxman that the "browse-and-message" thing is kind of played out (winks are too), so we're working on some ideas to help people find partners and interact without requiring them to fill out a giant questionnaire or spend hours copy and pasting a message to every potential partner on the site.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#40

Post by armored_mammal »

waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

Count me as another one who says meh to Facebook and doesn't care for drinking but otherwise likes the idea.
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