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American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

derekthompson.org

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Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#31

Post by rhubarbtree »

nathanaldensr wrote: post #25
WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #22

> Millennial fathers have roughly tripled the amount of time they spend with kids. I think this really undersells it. My mom parented a few hours a week. My kids (like most) lived under ceaseless 24/7 adulting. The time I spent with my sons was more like a 20x increase over my parents' generation. Past that, it seems like it's taking forever for anyone to notice the radical changes in modern parenting/childhood. Alon…

Millennials on the whole are incredibly neurotic about all kinds of things. Why that is is a matter of debate.

Millennials seem to have their shit together more than any generation since the silent generation, at least in the UK.

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#32

Post by bix6 »

sparrish wrote: post #8

As a GenX dad and now grandfather, I couldn't be happier to read this. Every dad wants his sons to be a better father than he was. Glad to see it happening. Nothing strengthens the knees like the weight of responsibility.

Yeah the weight of housing could be a little less though :)

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#33

Post by purplerabbit »

mschuster91 wrote: post #27
basisword wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My one concern with this is the risk of eventual burn out + mental health issues which will have its own impact on the children. Full time career + very present parent during the weekdays might just not be possible. WFH definitely helps make it significantly more possible though. Also worth not forgetting that in most cases the fathers of millennials were a hell of a lot more present and emotionally available than th…

> Full time career + very present parent during the weekdays might just not be possible. Guess why birth rates are crashing - and why they crash hardest in Asia, especially Japan.

And guess why trad household structures are (still) popular in some circles

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#34

Post by rhubarbtree »

Just a note for Dads doing more than their parents - it’s quality more than quantity. Be fully present with your kids more than trying to kill yourself fitting more hours in. That’s what matters.

Bad parenting tends to be more of the type that isn’t engaged. Kids don’t hate you for going to work. They are hurt if you come home and ignore them.

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#35

Post by orthoxerox »

WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #29
nathanaldensr wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Millennials on the whole are incredibly neurotic about all kinds of things. Why that is is a matter of debate.

> Millennials on the whole are incredibly neurotic about all kinds of things. Truly, this hasn't been my experience. I'm GenX (edit: not GenZ), my parents were Silent Gen (WWII vets) and my kids are Millennials. My 25yo kids understand behavior and psychology better than my parents ever did. The reason my kids grew up imprisoned is there was nowhere for them to go. The risk to their well-being was never from stranger…

You probably meant GenX.

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#36

Post by jaredklewis »

WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #29
nathanaldensr wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Millennials on the whole are incredibly neurotic about all kinds of things. Why that is is a matter of debate.

> Millennials on the whole are incredibly neurotic about all kinds of things. Truly, this hasn't been my experience. I'm GenX (edit: not GenZ), my parents were Silent Gen (WWII vets) and my kids are Millennials. My 25yo kids understand behavior and psychology better than my parents ever did. The reason my kids grew up imprisoned is there was nowhere for them to go. The risk to their well-being was never from stranger…

> I'm GenZ, my parents were Silent Gen (WWII vets) and my kids are Millennials.

My understanding is that Gen Z comes AFTER millennials, so if you are Z, your kids can't be millennials. Maybe you are Gen X? Also, if your kids are 25 now, then they would be gen z, not millennials.

P.S. Don't shoot the messenger, I didn't make up this dumb system or these dumb names ^_^

I agree with everything in your top level comment.

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#37

Post by watwut »

nathanaldensr wrote: post #25
WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #22

> Millennial fathers have roughly tripled the amount of time they spend with kids. I think this really undersells it. My mom parented a few hours a week. My kids (like most) lived under ceaseless 24/7 adulting. The time I spent with my sons was more like a 20x increase over my parents' generation. Past that, it seems like it's taking forever for anyone to notice the radical changes in modern parenting/childhood. Alon…

Millennials on the whole are incredibly neurotic about all kinds of things. Why that is is a matter of debate.

The things, grandparents are more neurotic. Just had less options.

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#38

Post by watwut »

mothballed wrote: post #26
nathanaldensr wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Millennials on the whole are incredibly neurotic about all kinds of things. Why that is is a matter of debate.

I don't know if it's the parent that is neurotic so much as that it only takes 1 of 1000 assholes, who now have their little snitch device in their pocket 24/7, to call the child snatchers (CPS). And the child snatchers are legally barred from revealing who your accuser is, so the anonymous cowards can fuck up your life for weeks at no cost to themselves and with the utmost convenience. This effectively means every s…

The actual threat of CPS 8s grossly exagerrated here. And the fear is one of the symptoms.

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#39

Post by kotaKat »

Second sibling born - turns out I didn't get to be the parent, I get to look after the parents. I'm tired, exhausted, utterly miserable, barely scraping by. All those fancy ideals I thought old age provided for don't exist. Nursing homes? Hah, that's $340 a day up here in the middle of nowhere. I ain't making that a day. I get to do it myself.

I wonder what percentage of folks are now stuck in caretaking instead of raising their own families themselves. I basically predict my family line is extinct after my generation.

Re: American Dads Became the Parents Their Fathers Never Were

#40

Post by watwut »

purplerabbit wrote: post #33
mschuster91 wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Full time career + very present parent during the weekdays might just not be possible. Guess why birth rates are crashing - and why they crash hardest in Asia, especially Japan.

And guess why trad household structures are (still) popular in some circles

They are way more popular among men then women. The thing is, women were mostly living that ... it is new only for men
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