Earlier on HN, much more detailed: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45719829
Listen to Understand
31–34 of 34 posts
Re: Listen to Understand
#32[dead]
Re: Listen to Understand
#33Curious, on the word usage. In section 2, you wrote, “Have you tried asking the if you can get just for your section? Or if that person can be removed from the group?” In my mind, I swapped those 2 words- Lecturer and Marked with Professor and Graded
Author is probably Australian, I would use the same words. Just checked linkedIn, yep they are from NSW.
My hunch on the author not from the west checks out.
Re: Listen to Understand
#34This article is not terrible, but it is yet another article about listening that treats it as the direct exchange of information rather than as one dynamic in the embodiment of a relationship. If you “talk about yourself” by sharing a similar problem, that is called commiseration. This can be a comforting move because it doesn’t put pressure on the other person to respond, yet implicitly expresses that you understand…
I am a listening trainer, and have taken over 1,500 people through a basic session in active listening. But that said, I agree with you that what matters is having a good relationship, and that involves using different communication skills at different times.
I listen as part of my life and work, too. I've been training people since 1995. I am also a psychology and social science enthusiast.
The listening class I took in 1988 was one of the most helpful classes I have ever taken. I appreciate and use active listening. But listening is a complex process that goes far beyond mere absorption of information.
Instead of demonizing the ego, which is a tired and reductionist trope, let's appreciate the roles that self-image, self-care, and self-sharing play in that process.