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In the US, not even $11,000 a month can buy you dignity at the end of your life

theguardian.com

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Re: In the US, not even $11,000 a month can buy you dignity at the end of your life

#31

Post by PorterBHall »

throwaway250501 wrote: post #16

Using a throwaway. Apologies. My grandfather died of cancer before he was 75. I don’t know what it was, but the symptoms and his rapid decline were horrific. My father died of multiple myeloma before he was 75. He was lucky not to suffer chemo, but from diagnosis to death took 14 months. Now I have started observing the same symptoms which my father had at my age and have started planning ahead. I’m too cowardly to g…

Thank you for sharing that link. This whole question has been on my mind a lot lately. I am 55 years old, and my son is 11. Both of my parents died in nursing homes. I don’t yet know how I want to die, but I have a good idea of how I don’t want to die. The idea of being in an institution that essentially holds me prisoner while depleting anything left I have saved for my son keeps me awake at night. I’d rather take a long walk into the woods on a cold night, but I’m afraid that I will lose my nerve and miss my chance. I hope that time is still a few decades away. Sallekhana seems like a more intentional, natural way to die than the way most Americans do today.

Re: In the US, not even $11,000 a month can buy you dignity at the end of your life

#32

Post by PorterBHall »

legitster wrote: post #18

I have a flippant but not unserious suggestion: I had a doctor friend who put it succinctly: "You want to die of heart failure. It's relatively painless, it's instant, and it's cheap. But heart disease is so easily preventable in a controlled environment that we can drag out lives much longer than they should be lived." In a nursing home, they are obsessed with low fat, low sodium, heart-healthy diets. But you should…

I heard a podcast interview with the doctor recently who said that we have technology that can be implanted into someone who is at risk for dying of sudden cardiac arrest that will prevent it from happening. It tends to add a few years onto someone’s life, but it also consigns them to die slowly and painfully from congestive heart failure. The doctor said his patients grasp for anything that might extend their life, if even only for a few months. He often feels conflicted about installing these devices.

Re: In the US, not even $11,000 a month can buy you dignity at the end of your life

#33

Post by lif »

throwaway250501 wrote: post #16

Using a throwaway. Apologies. My grandfather died of cancer before he was 75. I don’t know what it was, but the symptoms and his rapid decline were horrific. My father died of multiple myeloma before he was 75. He was lucky not to suffer chemo, but from diagnosis to death took 14 months. Now I have started observing the same symptoms which my father had at my age and have started planning ahead. I’m too cowardly to g…

fwiw, I hear you & have had close relative with similar story.

Five Wishes provides a simple form that seems worthwhile (am curious as to anyone who has experience with how the 5 wishes document is handled/honored irl)

https://www.fivewishes.org/

Re: In the US, not even $11,000 a month can buy you dignity at the end of your life

#34

Post by howard941 »

rawgabbit wrote: post #24
steamrolled wrote: post #2

I don't want to be judgmental because I know these are extremely difficult situations with no easy answers, but what strikes me about this article is that the author blames the profit motive after what can be uncharitably viewed as taking an elderly parent and paying a third party to make the "problem" go away from your life. This industry is driven solely by demand and there are highly-developed countries where it d…

I have some experience with this and your take is a bit uncharitable. I am classified as a senior citizen and am relatively healthy. My MIL is 86 years old, has dementia, fallen several times and broken her hip, shoulders etc. She is tiny; but when I try to lift her up by myself...it is almost impossible. I tell her to grab my shoulders while I face her and cradle her butt with my hands and do my best to stand up str…

Get a Hoyer Lift - it should be covered by hospice. And speaking of hospice, consider it. With dementia she'll be approved. The Hoyer Lift will make moving her about much easier.
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