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Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

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Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#31

Post by throwandoawando »

bdangubic wrote: post #30
markus_zhang wrote: post #29

To younger people reading this post: if you don't know what you want in life, make more money. Set a FU money target and go for it. Use whatever legal means.

this is a surefire way to have a monster midlife crisis. chasing money will all but ensure you don’t spend much time enjoying your life and come 40’s/50’s you’ll realize you can’t get burried with a pile of cash and possessions you made and midlife crisis will hit you like a truck. to younger people - do the exact opposite of this. do as much shit before you hit 40/50, travel as much as you can, love as much as you c…

exactly

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#32

Post by bdangubic »

bruce511 wrote: post #21

A mid-life crisis happens when you reach your goals. When we are young we strive for success. We go to college, get a job, climb the career ladder. Ostensibly we do it to afford fancy houses, cars, motorbikes or whatever, but we can't afford those things so we strive for success. Then one day we achieve the goal. We have a wife, kids, house, car - we're earning well, and have cash left over. We are, objectively, succ…

lovely! my personal belief is that midlife crisis is an exponential function of how many times in your life you said “I’ll ____ later”

- would love to travel, “no time/money/… now, will do it later”

- learn how to play an instrument, no time/money/… now, will do it later”

- have kids/family, no time/money/… now, will do it later”

- become UFC champion, no time/money/… now, will do it later”

then midlife hits and you haven’t left Bismarck, ND all your life, you play no instrument, have no kids (both you and spouse are now too old) and of course UFC dreams are long gone…

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#33

Post by throwandoawando »

deanmoriarty wrote: post #28

I am going through it right now at 38. I am the unhappiest I have ever been. It all stems from being fundamentally so unhappy with work. I have changed 3 employers over the past 4 years and I’ve been more and more depressed with each transition. I spend my life in a state of immense disappointment about having to work. I am not even passionate about software anymore, so it’s not only the corporate madness (meetings,…

This might also be burnout, not necessarily midlife crisis.

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#34

Post by yongjik »

bdangubic wrote: post #30
markus_zhang wrote: post #29

To younger people reading this post: if you don't know what you want in life, make more money. Set a FU money target and go for it. Use whatever legal means.

this is a surefire way to have a monster midlife crisis. chasing money will all but ensure you don’t spend much time enjoying your life and come 40’s/50’s you’ll realize you can’t get burried with a pile of cash and possessions you made and midlife crisis will hit you like a truck. to younger people - do the exact opposite of this. do as much shit before you hit 40/50, travel as much as you can, love as much as you c…

To young people: the truth is somewhere in the middle. Don't spend your youth chasing money, but don't ignore money either, because while money doesn't buy happiness, it could make a lot of miserable things much less miserable.

Also, in a typical old-boomer-says-do-as-what-I-say-not-as-what-I-do fashion... do exercise regularly. One day you will wake up and find out your right arm will not go up higher than Heil Hitler position. And it takes a year to get it back to somewhat normal.

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#35

Post by bdangubic »

yongjik wrote: post #34
bdangubic wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

this is a surefire way to have a monster midlife crisis. chasing money will all but ensure you don’t spend much time enjoying your life and come 40’s/50’s you’ll realize you can’t get burried with a pile of cash and possessions you made and midlife crisis will hit you like a truck. to younger people - do the exact opposite of this. do as much shit before you hit 40/50, travel as much as you can, love as much as you c…

To young people: the truth is somewhere in the middle. Don't spend your youth chasing money, but don't ignore money either, because while money doesn't buy happiness, it could make a lot of miserable things much less miserable. Also, in a typical old-boomer-says-do-as-what-I-say-not-as-what-I-do fashion... do exercise regularly. One day you will wake up and find out your right arm will not go up higher than Heil Hitl…

for many the midlife crisis is when you find that middle :)

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#36

Post by impendia »

solardev wrote: post #23
impendia wrote: post #22

I'm 46, and I've gone through something of a midlife crisis recently (and things are getting better now!) When I was a kid, I was constantly being told how much much "potential" I had. I have accomplished a lot, and when I was in my twenties and thirties it was easy to imagine that all the things I hadn't accomplished yet were still ahead of me. Now, I've been faced with a reckoning: for sure, many great things still…

Just curious, what kinds of group fitness did you end up enjoying? Asking as someone who formerly spent a few years doing yoga too.

Cross training -- a mixture of cardio and strength training, with weights, rowers, kettlebells, battle ropes, medicine balls, etc. etc. and all sorts of calisthenics -- something different every day.

It's not a chain establishment, and overall I really like the owner/head trainer and the mood he sets. I'm living in a town that's a bit too laid back and slow-paced for my taste overall, whereas this guy acts like he has twenty cups of coffee every day -- while managing to remember everybody's name and coming around to help you if you're having difficulties.

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#37

Post by bruce511 »

bdangubic wrote: post #32
bruce511 wrote: post #21

A mid-life crisis happens when you reach your goals. When we are young we strive for success. We go to college, get a job, climb the career ladder. Ostensibly we do it to afford fancy houses, cars, motorbikes or whatever, but we can't afford those things so we strive for success. Then one day we achieve the goal. We have a wife, kids, house, car - we're earning well, and have cash left over. We are, objectively, succ…

lovely! my personal belief is that midlife crisis is an exponential function of how many times in your life you said “I’ll ____ later” - would love to travel, “no time/money/… now, will do it later” - learn how to play an instrument, no time/money/… now, will do it later” - have kids/family, no time/money/… now, will do it later” - become UFC champion, no time/money/… now, will do it later” then midlife hits and you…

Interesting. So I think you're saying that the crisis happens for precisely the opposite reason- ie a lack of success in reaching any goal. And a realization that those goals are now unachievable.

I would agree that this certainly contributes to mental angst, depression and so on.

But I'm not sure it matches the things we usually associate with "mid life crisis" (ie the buying of toys like a Ferrari or Harley.)

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#38

Post by meiraleal »

thorin wrote: post #8
simonblack wrote: post #4

I got a new, better, improved wife out of mine. And I became a better person overall. Also 47 seems a bit high. Women go through a midlife crisis around 35-38 years old, men tend to have theirs in the early 40s.

Women's crisis in this case would be linked to when they reach the end of child-bearing age? Men's would more likely relate to their circumstances e.g. I had children relatively late so my mid-life crisis will be later...

> Women's crisis in this case would be linked to when they reach the end of child-bearing age

More like when they stop being invited for parties and meetups just for being women. Gotta start chase the fun and spend money, like most men.

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#39

Post by bdangubic »

bruce511 wrote: post #37
bdangubic wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

lovely! my personal belief is that midlife crisis is an exponential function of how many times in your life you said “I’ll ____ later” - would love to travel, “no time/money/… now, will do it later” - learn how to play an instrument, no time/money/… now, will do it later” - have kids/family, no time/money/… now, will do it later” - become UFC champion, no time/money/… now, will do it later” then midlife hits and you…

Interesting. So I think you're saying that the crisis happens for precisely the opposite reason- ie a lack of success in reaching any goal. And a realization that those goals are now unachievable. I would agree that this certainly contributes to mental angst, depression and so on. But I'm not sure it matches the things we usually associate with "mid life crisis" (ie the buying of toys like a Ferrari or Harley.)

Lack of success might be a stretch because I think there are plenty of people at McKinsey etc having an amazing career but working 90/100/… hours per week and never getting to enjoy life. Speaking from my personal experience of seeing various people go through midlife crisis it has been mostly “time passes while we do other things.” then when it hits one goes “I have never ____” and “I have never ____” and there is now very limited time left. you know, like “bucket list” is exactly what it is, list is loooong and you are 48.5

Re: Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

#40

Post by markus_zhang »

bdangubic wrote: post #30
markus_zhang wrote: post #29

To younger people reading this post: if you don't know what you want in life, make more money. Set a FU money target and go for it. Use whatever legal means.

this is a surefire way to have a monster midlife crisis. chasing money will all but ensure you don’t spend much time enjoying your life and come 40’s/50’s you’ll realize you can’t get burried with a pile of cash and possessions you made and midlife crisis will hit you like a truck. to younger people - do the exact opposite of this. do as much shit before you hit 40/50, travel as much as you can, love as much as you c…

If they don't know what to do when young, better figure out how they can make more money and then either retire to seek or be good at something so they find it.
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