Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year • Hacker News Board

Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year

#31

Post by sys32768 » Wed, Oct 02, 2024, 7:36 PM UTC

hallman76 wrote: post #29

sys32768 wrote: post #14

I update "upon my death" letters to my loved ones every year. It's a sobering exercise that brings me great peace and, I hope, will bring them great peace too.

I really like this idea! Could you share more about your letters? What sorts of things do you include? I assume different topics for different people. Do the loved ones know that these letters exist?

I highly recommend it!

I left instructions to my children in a safe they know about. I also keep digital copies on a flash drive in the safe.

Each letter is printed, signed and sealed in an envelope. Each has a name, title, and sometimes directions on where to send. In some cases, I don't know the current address of the recipient so I just put my best guess and hope my children can find them.

Generally I polish them and add new content based on personally meaningful changes in my life that year, or new interactions I had with the person.

In rare cases, such as the one to my ex-wife, I have rewritten the entire thing. It grows shorter each year, but I remain polite.

I also plan to record a short video for my children each year they can watch or share. Obviously I can't cover everything in it but it will be short, sweet, and probably funny. I will just keep each one year over year so they have more material to work with. I will store copies on two or three USB flash drives.

My idea for this was inspired ~10 years ago by a co-worker whose friend--a father and husband--was killed by a piece of metal debris that flew into his car windshield while he was driving on the freeway.

This past weekend I found a memorial bench dedicated to a man who died of a quick late-stage cancer, not much older than me. The motto on the plaque read: DON'T WAIT

Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year

#32

Post by satori99 » Wed, Oct 02, 2024, 8:54 PM UTC

MSM wrote: post #24

satori99 wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated I was responsible for doing this for a news radio network 30 years ago. Mostly I was able to stay on top of things, but Princess Diana really ruined my weekend. No-one was ready for that one.

I'm very curious to know if you had an obituary written up for Princess Diana already, or did you only have them written up for celebrities that were "at risk"? Was there any kind of cutoff in terms of age? Were there obituaries maintained for child actors and singers? So many questions but it's a very interesting topic!

Typically, they were managed based on level of fame, health, and age.

Any notable persons named in recent news reports for matters of health were kept near the top of the pile.

There was nothing pre-prepared for Princess Diana's death as she was just too young and healthy, despite her incredible fame.

Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year

#33

Post by voisin » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 2:03 PM UTC

r_p4rk wrote: post #5

voisin wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.

In Ireland, they are called a wake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_(ceremony)

We have wakes and visitations in Canada too, but they are held at funeral homes for brief periods - not in the home of the deceased or a loved one. I think this might be the same as the Jewish ritual of “sitting shiva”?? But I am not sure.

Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year

#34

Post by voisin » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 2:04 PM UTC

smitelli wrote: post #7

voisin wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.

Possibly “visitation” in the American south, unless I’m misremembering or misinterpreting the parent comment.

Are visitations held inside a private home? We have them in Canada but they are invariably (in my experience) held in a funeral home.

Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year

#35

Post by voisin » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 2:05 PM UTC

QuarterReptile wrote: post #6

voisin wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.

I couldn't quite follow the wording, but it sounded like open-casket visitation, but at home instead of a funeral home.

Yes I agree. Was this a common ritual anytime recently in North America? I have heard of it back in the 1800s but only ever heard of funeral homes for visitations anytime more recently.