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Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

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Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#31

Post by somenameforme »

watwut wrote: post #19
randombits0 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It taints the whole “woman he loved” routine as he openly acknowledged his misogyny and objectification of women throughout his life. He can’t love women so how can he love this woman?

Men are fully capable to love one woman and see others just as sex. Men are fully capable to write romantic letters and mean them in the moment and seek casual sex two hours later.

The seeming frequency in this thread with which people seem unable to distinguish between love and lust (or how one can lead to the other, and their otherwise complex interworking) is evidence many have yet to experience one or the other. The 'other' being rather self evident. And that's quite sad.

One of the few times I'm reminded how much time I spend posting in an online text forum, and oh boy what a bubble we enjoy conversing in.

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#32

Post by KMag »

happytoexplain wrote: post #3
kkwteh wrote: post #2

I never knew how to square this with stories about Feynman’s sexual predation. Were these two distinct phases of his life?

This is a good summary example of something I find distinctly dangerous about the way people think of figures they don't personally know (i.e. how people on the social web treat public figures, or even just any stranger they see on the web). We see snapshots and assemble a person in our head. We can barely do that with any degree of fidelity regarding people we personally know , much less public figures. People do go…

"But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being." -- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#34

Post by mherkender »

screye wrote: post #15
kkwteh wrote: post #2

I never knew how to square this with stories about Feynman’s sexual predation. Were these two distinct phases of his life?

Words have meanings. > sexual predation I don't think this term is appropriate for anyone who is less than an attempted rapist. There are many existing words to describe Feynman's behavior. Pervert, philanderer womanizer, consummate cheater.... Let's use existing words that lead to the correct assumptions by those unfamiliar with his sexual behaviors. A sexual predator evokes Harvey Weinstein. AFAIK, Feynman sounds m…

I dunno, a lot of those 80s rock stars slept with their underage groupies. Harvey Weinstein used his power to pressure young Hollywood actresses, am I supposed to believe that a professor sleeping with his students is a completely different beast?

I still think Harvey Weinstein is worse, like you say, but I think it's disingenuous to pretend like they're completely different types of people.

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#35

Post by poszlem »

kkwteh wrote: post #2

I never knew how to square this with stories about Feynman’s sexual predation. Were these two distinct phases of his life?

It's really disappointing to see such a blatant attempt to drag someone's name through the mud. I have seen over and over again people derive pleasure from undermining respected figures, perhaps in a bid to appear more sophisticated or informed. Shame on you.

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#36

Post by happytoexplain »

randombits0 wrote: post #11
giraffe_lady wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's been many years since I read his memoirs but I remember feeling that he came off as a barely-sympathetic womanizer in them. He had more or less absolute control over his own portrayal of himself so I assume the truth was significantly worse.

It taints the whole “woman he loved” routine as he openly acknowledged his misogyny and objectification of women throughout his life. He can’t love women so how can he love this woman?

>He can’t love women

This is a false premise and an oversimplification motivated by (understandably) bitter emotions (I go into this more in another comment).

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#37

Post by watwut »

somenameforme wrote: post #31
watwut wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men are fully capable to love one woman and see others just as sex. Men are fully capable to write romantic letters and mean them in the moment and seek casual sex two hours later.

The seeming frequency in this thread with which people seem unable to distinguish between love and lust (or how one can lead to the other, and their otherwise complex interworking) is evidence many have yet to experience one or the other. The 'other' being rather self evident. And that's quite sad. One of the few times I'm reminded how much time I spend posting in an online text forum, and oh boy what a bubble we enj…

It is perfectly possible to love one person and have lust to another. Which is what original poster deemed shocking. The complain here is "how it is possible for him to be in love with one woman while also being womanizer in completely different relationship".

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#38

Post by Dig1t »

andy_ppp wrote: post #23
kkwteh wrote: post #2

I never knew how to square this with stories about Feynman’s sexual predation. Were these two distinct phases of his life?

I didn’t realise he did anything wrong? Was he forcing himself on women or merely flirting successfully?

He didn't do anything wrong, you can read his book where he talks about his dating life in great detail. He was just successful at flirting.

Our puritanical culture just doesn't like it.

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#39

Post by wincy »

sonicanatidae wrote: post #21
nynx wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

sometimes they don’t fit into your sense of morality

You're right. I believe school children should get meals, for free in the richest country in the world. Crazy idea. They don't agree, but are somehow still good people.. lol

Right, because my wife home schools and has chosen to forgo a professional career to care for our disabled daughter, depriving us of a substantial income, and I don’t think the tax dollars I do pay should subsidize the public schools we can’t even use due to our child’s medical needs? Mind you, I live in an area with middle class incomes, so the families can definitely afford the school lunches.

Am I a bad person?

Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)

#40

Post by packetslave »

foldr wrote: post #14
jayceedenton wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You never considered the possibility he was just being honest?

I'd read that as 'the whole truth' rather than a suggestion that the Surely You're Joking series contained outright lies. The books (obviously) don't go into all the details of Feynman's personal and sexual relations, so there is surely much that is omitted. They also don't exactly convey a sense of extreme veracity, being structured as collections of amusing anecdotes.

Collections of amusing anecdotes is exactly what they are. Feynman didn’t write the Surely You’re Joking series. They’re stories he told that Ralph Leighton wrote down and collected into books.
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