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Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

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Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#31

Post by biomcgary »

lusus_naturae wrote: post #4
smfugit wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are splitting the cost though. Greater the time you spend on bread winning, and it always increases as work/fam responsibilities & fam size increase with time, less time you have on the home front. It makes a big diff(a real relief infact) if SO is full time manning that front.

This requires tremendous trust in the breadwinnner, though. Sexual competition is a reality, which is why infidelity happens. If the housewife/husband is deemed replaceable, then there is an implicit power differential between the breadwinner and house spouse, which opens the "lesser" half to abuse (physical, emotional, financial etc.). My recommendation to anyone considering house spousing is to have a contingency p…

The most efficient solution for narcissism (i.e., abandonment of a non-breadwinning spouse) is not more narcissism (i.e., self-focused contingency planning). Unfortunately, in a highly individualistic (i.e., narcissistic) society, it may be the only one that is practical.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#32

Post by tiny_ta »

2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote: post #25
Yujf wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How is it not liberating to not be dependant on another human being for everything?

Like a wage? I think we are all dependent on others either way.

It's not quite the same thing though, is it? You can walk away from one employer and go to another as long as you have employ-able skills. It's much harder to walk away from a marriage that is not working out for one and if some financial independence makes it easier to, then so be it!

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#33

Post by 2OEH8eoCRo0 »

tiny_ta wrote: post #32
2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Like a wage? I think we are all dependent on others either way.

It's not quite the same thing though, is it? You can walk away from one employer and go to another as long as you have employ-able skills. It's much harder to walk away from a marriage that is not working out for one and if some financial independence makes it easier to, then so be it!

I'm not arguing against choice, I'm arguing that despite downsides there are merits to having a homemaker and viewing the household as a team rather than a collection of individuals.

Perhaps the more equitable route is a household where both work fewer hours so both can be breadwinner and homemaker.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#34

Post by tiny_ta »

gustavus wrote: post #12

Does this surprise anyone this has been the way households have been structured for millennia, even among the elite aristocrats of ancient Rome, or Egyptian dynastys there would always the woman was primarily responsible for the running of the home, which despite what it sounds like could be quite a daunting affair, similar on the level of running a small business. I couldn't do what I do without my wife, she is just…

I highly recommend watching the Indian movie: The great Indian kitchen. It does really offer a different perspective to anyone who believes that a housewife's job is better than a corporate drone's :)

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#35

Post by jstarfish »

throwaway4aday wrote: post #9
mrkeen wrote: post #2

> Housewifing bears a different kind of opportunity cost than breadwinning Yes. The opportunity cost of housewifing is breadwinning. The opportunity cost of breadwinning is housewifing. Guess which one pays the rent/mortgage (keywords not found in the text.)

If both partners work then: - many more meals must be ordered in or eaten out instead of prepared from scratch - transportation cost increases, more vehicles needed which means more gas more insurance more repairs or more transit fare and now both people sacrifice possibly hours of their day to commuting - childcare services must be paid for and transportation arranged for them - the choice of housing now has the add…

> If both partners work then [...] more vehicles needed

I was thinking about the logistics of this the other day since one of our cars is down, I'm WFH with a SAHM and I hate the expense of having to maintain two cars. Maybe this is the time to downgrade to one (which will be followed by mandatory RTO, knowing my luck).

Being a housewife is Work. It's a full-time unpaid job that frequently involves bringing things to the home from outside of it. She's not my dog; if I took our only car to work, my wife doesn't just sit around awaiting my return or stop needing to go places. The kids still need to be brought to/from school (in California, this is at irregular times on irregular days for maximum exclusion). Sometimes they need to go to the doctor. Sometimes she needs to go to the doctor. Groceries need procurement.

She could take the bus, maybe. Then it's a discussion of which partner's role is critical enough to necessitate exclusive use of the car. Both sides are valid. Being a trailblazer doesn't mean shit if nobody's maintaining your path.

In past instances, I've left the car to her and just taken Uber to ad-hoc onsite work, but this is very unreliable (and expensive for short hops).

If you live in an American suburb, you need multiple vehicles regardless of employment status.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#36

Post by Apocryphon »

2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote: post #33
tiny_ta wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not quite the same thing though, is it? You can walk away from one employer and go to another as long as you have employ-able skills. It's much harder to walk away from a marriage that is not working out for one and if some financial independence makes it easier to, then so be it!

I'm not arguing against choice, I'm arguing that despite downsides there are merits to having a homemaker and viewing the household as a team rather than a collection of individuals. Perhaps the more equitable route is a household where both work fewer hours so both can be breadwinner and homemaker.

There’s the concept of ensuring a family wage, rather than an individual’s own living wage.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#37

Post by reccanti »

> Burnout's root cause is a mutually-reinforcing school/work/personal environment known as "total work

Personally, I would think the solution to this type of millennial burnout is having the economic stability and workplace protections to _not_ have to always be worrying about school and work.

Also, it’s baffling to me that this is treated like a choice everyone is making? Like, what if you need multiple incomes to afford rent, or what if you’re single???

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#38

Post by gustavus »

darth_avocado wrote: post #11

I would absolutely give up my career to be a househusband, but increasingly, one income isn’t sufficient to support a family. I work in tech and even my salary (or my wife’s) cannot support the two of us + children. Yes we’d save some childcare costs, but that’s about it. If anything, your other expenses on an average remain the same but your standard of living drops because there’s less income.

Where are you living that it is that hard? I am the sole breadwinner for our family, have been our whole marriage, and we have 4 little kids and live a fairly comfortable middle class lifestyle.

Although if food keeps going this way we may need to cut back on some things.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#39

Post by kylehotchkiss »

For reducing workload - robot vacuums/mops, a decent dishwasher that cleans things up the first time, eating out a few times a week, and not having/coddling a pet if you can't handle it are all options to reduce the housework load. Most stores offer really good order pickup. Target is a star, you can just sit in your car and they load it for you.

One of the things I find annoying in American life is how so many bureaucratic things are only open 9-5ish. DMV, Doctor, Banks, Dry Cleaners, any government office etc. Having to shove these things into a lunch break or take time off really adds to stress levels. We did a great job 15-20 years of getting things moved online and out of "business hours" then we seemed to stall into whatever we're at now.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#40

Post by Apocryphon »

gustavus wrote: post #38
darth_avocado wrote: post #11

I would absolutely give up my career to be a househusband, but increasingly, one income isn’t sufficient to support a family. I work in tech and even my salary (or my wife’s) cannot support the two of us + children. Yes we’d save some childcare costs, but that’s about it. If anything, your other expenses on an average remain the same but your standard of living drops because there’s less income.

Where are you living that it is that hard? I am the sole breadwinner for our family, have been our whole marriage, and we have 4 little kids and live a fairly comfortable middle class lifestyle. Although if food keeps going this way we may need to cut back on some things.

You must not live in a tech hub
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