I think this strongly depends on the couple. My wife and I have had separate checking accounts for 20 years, and a shared savings account, and a second shared checking account we use strictly for transferring money back and forth (we can’t use savings for that due to stupid banking rules). We also have split the hills according to our relative incomes. I make a lot more so I have the mortgage and a few big ticket ite…
This sound like what I do. Wife originally wanted a shared account. Then didn't want to change banks (she'd moved and there was no nearby branch).
We have a shared account that we pay for the house and daycare with.
I don't understand couples that keep separate finances. When you get married its "we" and not "me". It seems like keeping one foot out the door. Note: I've been married for 23 years with everything tracked in joint accounts the entire time but we do have a small "fun money" monthly budget item for each of us that is a black box.
It can make inheritance simpler in some cases. And if the other person develops into an asshole (not that anyone plans to) then it can also be simpler when it comes time to part ways.
Marriage is supposed to end when you die, remember your vows?
Wouldn’t consider any other arrangement, personally. If you can’t trust each other around the money then there’s not much foundation there, IMO. We both know what the individual budget for non essential purchases is, why do we need top secret accounts? Anyway, whatever works for each couple and keeps them happiest is the best.
I don't understand couples that keep separate finances. When you get married its "we" and not "me". It seems like keeping one foot out the door. Note: I've been married for 23 years with everything tracked in joint accounts the entire time but we do have a small "fun money" monthly budget item for each of us that is a black box.
I strongly disagree. Splitting finances allows each person to be responsible for their own money and avoids disputes over whether one person is spending more than their fair share.
For me doing the exact reverse works better, most of the funds are owned by the individual and a small joint account for fun activities.
I don't understand couples that keep separate finances. When you get married its "we" and not "me". It seems like keeping one foot out the door. Note: I've been married for 23 years with everything tracked in joint accounts the entire time but we do have a small "fun money" monthly budget item for each of us that is a black box.
Because joint accounts have always seemed weird and controlling to me? I don’t want my wife to have to “check in” when she wants to buy something. She can spend her money on whatever she wants. We split the bills according to our income (more or less) and discuss saving more when we know larger expenses like a trip or home improvements are on the horizon.
I don’t need access to her checking accounts or credit cards because I trust her to be financially responsible and I don’t want her to ever feel like she has to justify spending money on something she wants to me.
How about each agreeing to contribute to a joint checking account per month. Like $5K each per month to the joint account. For those of us who own our own business or are self-employed, my business account is mine, and my partner's business account is hers.
This might seem antagonist, I don’t mean it to be so, but does your proposal not assume both parties make well over 150k a year in salary to contribute such a large sum on a monthly basis with anything to spare?
From each according to their ability. If you make $50k and your spouse makes $150k, and your monthly expenses are $10k, then it seems quite reasonable for you to put in $2500 and your spouse to contribute $7500. The nice thing about the joint spending account is that you can set up this arrangement and then subsequently ignore it for everything else. All communal bills just get paid, and you are free to spend your excess how you like. If either person takes issue with how the money is spent, then you break it down into what they're missing. If it's nothing, then what's the problem? And if there is something missing, then you can agree to increase what counts as communal bills, including vacations, retirement, etc. All the way to everyone contributing 100% of their income, which is just a traditional joint account (but I would strongly recommend against that; 80-90% should be the max).
Seems obvious. Though, I think a lot of people here think the takeaway is "if you're in a relationship and you do separate now, you'll be happier if you put them together" and NO NO NO that's not it at all. It's "if y'all were already the type to put them together, you're probably happier than the types who didn't."
It sounds like they specifically attempted to avoid that reasoning by taking the decision away from the couples: "In a six-wave longitudinal experiment, we investigated whether randomly assigning engaged or newlywed couples to merge their money in a joint bank account increases relationship quality over time."
I would like to see more of this by income level, though, which isn't mentioned in the abstract. If you don't have much, and you have separate accounts, I certainly see how it results in more resentment, feeling that one of you is having to sacrifice or do more. That lines up with their findings of joint account promoting feelings of cohesiveness. If you are making more, it seems like it would be less of a significant factor in the relationship.
Seems obvious. Though, I think a lot of people here think the takeaway is "if you're in a relationship and you do separate now, you'll be happier if you put them together" and NO NO NO that's not it at all. It's "if y'all were already the type to put them together, you're probably happier than the types who didn't."
I can't read the article, but it seems like the legal concept of community property (Spanish civil law) vs. separate property should somehow factor into this discussion. About one third of the U.S. married persons are domiciled in community property states (CA & TX being the two largest by population).
Commingling separate funds in a joint account can transnmute them to community property.