Skimmed through a few sections, can't help but compare it to "The Game" with marriage as the goal instead of pickup/sex. But treats it like a game all the same, and treats women like pawns in that game.
How to Pick a Mate (1946)
31–40 of 155 posts
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#32Lol, pick :'). I have to stop at the title because I don't even get to the part where I get to pick :').
Search does come first. Someone would be happy to have you, I'm almost sure. And if not, well, you know what to work on.
I thought I was unworthy for a long time, and basically invested in myself until my 40s. Then when I started looking in earnest, I got married scary fast.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#33Amazingly well written. I found myself vigorously agreeing with several strong statements therein...I guess its because I'm an immigrant from a conservative culture and this is kinda how we think about these things. Very cut and dry, doesn't waste time hemming & hawing. Gets to the point. Just to be safe, I downloaded this book. I'm pretty sure we won't see this freely hosted online a decade from now, given the curre…
> pretty sure we won't see this freely hosted online a decade from now
Eh, regardless of cultural mores, I think you'll still be able to find it on sites like Gutenberg whose explicit goal is to preserve public domain works.
I agree that it is very cut and dry, and I miss that tone in more modern nonfiction literature - this tone is present in many genres from the WWII era; even technical manuals for old radios read very conversationally yet tersely.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#34Skimmed through a few sections, can't help but compare it to "The Game" with marriage as the goal instead of pickup/sex. But treats it like a game all the same, and treats women like pawns in that game.
Unfortunately this was probably pretty close to reality for most women in the timeframe that this author was writing this in.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#35> There are still other people who don’t marry because they lack a decent opportunity. Girls who choose nursing as a career, for example, cut their marriage prospects at least fifty per cent. It is much the same for librarians and social workers. In fact a girl can reduce her chances of marriage merely by going to a girls’ college. you have been warned /s
It's just as true for the opposite sex. Just that there aren't really any men-only colleges.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#36>> By marrying, a man becomes a better employment risk. Married men usually are regarded as more steady, more trustworthy employees than single men. This is logical. Marriage exerts a stabilizing influence on most men.
Oh wow has that changed. Kids and families = time away from the office. Marriage is also the leading cause of divorce, which tends to reduce productivity across a few years, especially if child custody is an issue. And, contrary to past working conditions where promotions were steady, a married person with a young family is now probably more likely to jump ship for a better job at higher pay rather that wait out a decade for in-house promotions.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#37There obvious historical issues with this book that make it hard to apply to today, but I was still surprised at how well written this was for it’s time. This also shows the importance of birth control in women’s lives. In 1946, sex was a roll of the dice to being pregnant. The odds are now massively improved to avoid pregnancy by using modern birth control methods.
> how well written this was for it’s time
This is the first time I've encountered the sentiment that things have become better written in the last 3-6 generations. Are you really surprised that a book from 1946 would be well written? I´d love to glean an idea of your views on this to widen my own views.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#38I was curious for a summary of what the book suggested. Here is Kagi’s summarizer: - Emotional maturity and stability are key traits for a happy marriage. People who are well-adjusted, have good self-confidence, and can handle problems well tend to have more successful marriages. - Communication and companionship are vital for a happy marriage. Couples need to develop a strong bond through sharing interests, aspirati…
Non-native speaker here. Is there a ranking to "key", "vital", "crucial", and "important", or should I read these as being equivalently important? I'm taking the latter as lesser than the former three, though that also depends on what Kagi is I suppose.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#39Skimmed through a few sections, can't help but compare it to "The Game" with marriage as the goal instead of pickup/sex. But treats it like a game all the same, and treats women like pawns in that game.
Unfortunately this was probably pretty close to reality for most women in the timeframe that this author was writing this in.
Yes, given the author says this:
> A basic argument for marriage is that it offers a logical division of labor. Imagine how much more complicated and inconvenient life would be if men had to do their own cooking and sewing, and women—all women—had to compete with men for a livelihood!
Of course, since '46 capitalism has demanded women enter the workforce to compete with men and drive down wages.
Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)
#40There obvious historical issues with this book that make it hard to apply to today, but I was still surprised at how well written this was for it’s time. This also shows the importance of birth control in women’s lives. In 1946, sex was a roll of the dice to being pregnant. The odds are now massively improved to avoid pregnancy by using modern birth control methods.
> how well written this was for it’s time This is the first time I've encountered the sentiment that things have become better written in the last 3-6 generations. Are you really surprised that a book from 1946 would be well written? I´d love to glean an idea of your views on this to widen my own views.
I only meant that specifically in regards to this topic, “finding a mate”. The era was fairly repressive on the topic and so many euphemisms and religious over tones to everything. This was refreshingly straight forward.